This Hair-loss world

[hairmee]

You know everyone? I sit here tonight after going for a nice drive thinking about my usual problem that strikes me every day of my life. Yes, it's suffering from a receding hairline for the past 10 years and I'm now 40 years old.

 

Here, I am a guy that likes to dress professionally, take care of my body, always wants to be presentable in life in every situation. I have been married for 18 years and have a great family and career. I like to play amatuer golf tournaments and am actually good at it. However, I never thought in my wildest dreams, that as a kid, I would have done so well for myself and my family to live so empty after accomplishing everything and not be able to control this Hair-Loss cancer that has affected me more than anyone would care to know. I am really sad, so I wanted to write this submission to this community to help get this out of my system.

 

I just can't believe or even explain to anyone the grief I have dealt with over the years with my hair. I can't even explain myself or express my pain to anyone of the issues that I try to hide and monitor on a daily basis.

 

I can't even explain to anyone how many times I look into the mirror while I am using the bathroom checking the status of my situation.

 

I can't explain how it feels to sit at a bar to see your reflection in a mirror facing the bar while you are trying to relax and have a beer.

 

I can't explain how it feels when I have been out in the rain and feel great physically but then go inside to dry off just to stand their in front of a mirror in horror to stare at someone that is not you.

 

I can't explain how it feels to take a shower every day and dread getting cleaned up because you know that you will need to dry your hair and be forced to stare at yourself while you attempt to cover up this Hair-recession Cancer.

 

I can't explain the vitamins I take to help control a possible deficiency that I think might be causing the problem.

 

I can't explain the different foods I eat always thinking "maybe this will help my hair"

 

I can't explain the times I stick my head out the window of my car and let the wind blow back my landing strip and high temple hairline just to get upset or on the good days think that it's not that bad.

 

I can't explain what it feels like to play in golf tournaments or with my weekend buddies on the golf course to feel great about myself but to take off my hat at the end of the round and totally ruin my day by looking in the rear view mirror of the car while I am leaving the course. Just to be upset the rest of the day.

 

I can't explain what it feels like to be outgoing and in sales while you can't be yourself or at your best inside. Even though everyone sees that you are the best.

 

I can't explain to anyone the hours I've spent carefully researching an option that would be permanent, natural, and me.

 

I can't explain the times I walk in front of pictures with glass reflections of downtown buildings that show your reflection as you walk past that I look into them and..... not look at the picture but to be asphyxiated to the light passing through my receding hairline. Just to ruin my day or moment in time.

 

I can't explain the times I see my picture taken and I totally freak out to what I actually look like. Again tearing me down.

 

I can't explain how many times I've told my wife how much this bothers me.

 

I can't explain how it feels to speak in front of a friend or family member when my hair is longer and the wind is blowing really hard.

 

I can't explain what it feels like to go to a barber and humiliating yourself with some hair that the barber does not know what to do with. At the same time, a older client sits and waits in front of you with a full head of hair. One of my worst experiences so I cut my own hair now.

 

I can't explain how many brain interrupts that my hair loss had plagued me with. It is unbelievable!

 

I can't explain how different I would have been if I didn't have to deal with this all these years.

 

 

Yes,I have been on this website since late 2004, I've visited Dr Parsley, Dr. Ron Shapiro, Dr Wolf, Dr Cooley in person as well as meeting up with and consulting numerous guys regarding their procedures...and I mean numerous!

 

My experience looking for a solution has been exhausting. I have learned a lot during this process and want everyone to know that I am happy as hell that I have not had my head cut on. I tried propecia several times and while people claim that there are no side affect....I have to tell you I was growing moobs and felt like I was aging faster. (yeah I know, there will be a lot of people telling me it psychological but I disagree.) Therefore I do not take that medication.

 

So to sum up this submission, I like to wear my hair short. I can't believe people get their heads cut open for a cure. The reason I say this is FUE would not have become so popular of FUT was no big deal. No-one wants a scar but everyone including myself would like to have unlimited donor supply.

 

I have been researching Replicel, Histogen, Aderans...etc. But until then I am a sad Human being that I am waiting for a solution to become reality.

 

by the way, I only need about 2000 grafts tops to conceal my situation. I am scared to death that I will be chasing something and regretting this later down the road or I have this done and it's too thin or too thick. Also to mention I am depressed that FUE or FUT is extremely expensive in my opinion.

 

I honestly don't know what to say on this board...it's like I want an answer so bad and there is not one. I will have so many of you guys rip me like I am depressed and need psychological counseling etc. I am just expressing the reality of this Hair loss problem. I will guarantee if you are reading this thread, you have experienced what I have explained above.

 

SO, that leads me to my next conversation.

 

Why and the hell can we fly someone to the freak-in moon but can't cure something that is so important to the Human appearance?

 

Why can you pull hair out all over your body and it grows back?

 

Why can your scalp hair disappear related to a gene that we don't know if it will take all or some hair?

 

Why can't scientist get to the bottom of this hair loss phenomenon?

 

Why is it so expensive???

 

Why am I spending time on this board knowing every answer to what I am writing?

 

I don't know what to do, if I cut my hair down.... dudes I look totally different. trust me! I don't feel right and it exposes more of my problem than if I let it grow out a little....

 

 

I just don't know what to do?????? :confused::mad:

[DISpHAIR]

I have to admit, I fond this post fascinationg. I think what is so interesting is that from all accounts after reading this, one would think that you would do anything to solve this problem. You have consulted numerous doctors and yet have not taken action of the best available treatment, that is hair restoration surgery. I know you think that there is no physcological component to your case but I strongly disagree and Ill tell you why. If every part of you is fullfilled like you claim that it is, and all that is stopping you from being completely happy is a full head of hair, Why havent you got the surgery. What is holding you back? If you have a great career like you claim, then money shouldnt be an issue. If you are married and have a great family, then you are already accepted and there should be no fear of rejection while going through the process. So what is the reason you wont address this one thing that will truly make you happy? The answer may be deeper than you are aware of.

 

I completely agree that hairloss is devastating and that is significantly diminshes quality of life. Some of your questions have obvious answers. Why can we go to the moon and not solve hairloss. This is because aerospace is much more interesting to most people than hairloss. Most people would rather focus their time solving the uncertainities of space more than they would solving the uncertanties of hairloss. You have to be aware that your thoughts are consumed by hairloss, most peoples thoughts are not. These thoughts are not normal relative to the way most people think. Why is surgery so expensive. The answer to that is because hairloss is devastating and people are desperate and will pay that amount of money if they think it will resolve their problem. I think in alot of cases not only does HTS not solve their problem, it compounds their problems. I say this becasue the worrying thoughts of hairloss still exhist in those that have got HTS, the focus is just different. The focus is now achieving a result that is not realistic. Also constantly looking in the morrior to make sure hairloss isnt progressing. After HTS you have deeply invested yourself mentally. You have to be prepared as this is going to become a huge part of your life. Perhaps this is why you are so reluctant to go through with the surgery. These are the reasons I am reluctant. Or perhaps it is convient to have an excuse to why you cant accomplish certain things. As long as you are balding you have an excuse for not accompishing something you aspire to accompish. Balding is not in your control thus making you mentally unaccountable for your failures. This could be why you have not gone for surgery.

 

If I am wrong about this being a phsycological issue and you are thinking rationally, then I understand why you have not got the surgery. I struggle with this every day myself. There is alot about the surgery that I dont like at all. Most of all, it is not natural. I believe much more in stem cells and replicell then anyone on this site. If it provides you any comfort, I am very optomistic about the results that will be published within 6 months. I want to get surgery but think there is a real cure right around the corner. If I wrong then I will have wasted 6 months, and will schedule surgery as I beleive the benefits of surgery out weigh the risks for ME. My question is Why wont you get surgery?

Edited September 24, 2011 by DISpHAIR

[Johnson]

The way I interpret this post is "I am losing my hair. I am not willing to do anything about it. Why can't I get it back without making any big sacrifices?" The bottom line is you are losing hair and you have the option to do something about it but you aren't taking it.

 

You seem so devastated yet you refuse to go through with ANY means of treatment whether it be medical or surgical. I guess you really don't want your hair back THAT badly. At some point you have to make a sacrifice if you really want it, and if your hair were in a condition like mine or many others then you would probably become a lot more willing to make that sacrifice. You are not there yet.

 

Face it, stem cell isn't here yet and you might be 60 before you have that opportunity. And my bet is that it will be very expensive at first when it comes out so if you cannot afford a transplant currently you might be well into your senior years before it becomes practical to you. Are you willing to live with your worsening hair loss during that time or do you want to fix it using what is currently available (and works)?

 

Now I'll tell you why this post irritates me a bit. I have been losing my hair since age 19 and am now 29. I would need probably more than 20,000 grafts to get really nice coverage (not possible) and this is in addition to the grafts I already have. You are 40 and only need 2000 grafts? I would LOVE to be in your position. You have it much better than many guys and don't even realize it. You are married first off. Imagine being a teenager/twenty something who is still trying to find a girlfriend and having half your hair. That is how I have spent my 20's.

 

I didn't just accept it and then complain about having no hair though. I did something about it and while it is not perfect I know at least that I have made some calculated sacrifices towards a better satisfaction in life. I was on propecia for more than a year, but finally gave up on it due to side effects. We each are willing to accept certain things and maybe not other things, but you have to do SOMETHING if you want to stop the loss. I have had 3 FUT's (just had my third) and the scar in the back is an accepted sacrifice for more hair. Even though I am younger than you, I feel like you are in some position I was stuck in at about 22 years old. Wanting my hair but not willing to make any big sacrifices for it. Well eventually you might lose more hair like we tend to do and realize that the price of NOT making the sacrifice is no longer worth it. Like I said, I really don't think you are there yet.

 

Do I like having a scar on my head? Did I like spending tons of money which many of my friends never had to spend because they never had this problem? Of course not, but that is just the luck of the draw. This is my situation, I have accepted that and done what I feel I need to do to counteract it with the technology that is currently available to us.

 

My suggestion: Continue monitoring your hair loss and researching all LEGITIMATE tools against hair loss that can be utilized. These "vitamins and shampoos" are not solutions PERIOD. As the old saying goes "no pain, no gain".

[DISpHAIR]

Johnson,

 

While I can certainly appreciate the difficulty you have faced I think its important to realize that we are all in different places. I dont think its fair for you to judge him in deciding what treatment he chooses. I know that you certainly shouldnt be angry with him for venting. I think there are much deeper issues going on in his case then hairloss as I described in my previous post. I applaude you for having the courage to address your hairloss and sympathize with the fact that you have had to deal with this at such a young age. Again i think this is a case of you mingling your situation and emotions with his when they are complety different and should be addressed completely different. It is important to be aware that what may be in your best interest may not be in his best interest.

Edited September 24, 2011 by DISpHAIR

[67mph]

Hairmee, it was like reading what i am always thinking!

 

Threads like this i hope helps people think 'jeezs, i'm totally not alone with this hairloss thing...' and i hope me saying that helps you know, that, you're not on your own mate.

 

I take a small amount of comfort (sorry for saying this) that someone is always worse of than yourself, and in some tiny mixed up way, it helps.

 

Hope i make sense.

 

Regards,

57mph

[zenmunk]

There is definitely something deeper going on here with hairmee. I responded to a thread recently about Body Dysmorphic Disorder. I think that reply may be appropriate here as well. I'm not suggesting that hairmee is suffering from BDD, but I think the overall message may be applicable. Perhaps he should take what he is feeling regarding his hair loss more seriously than he is...

 

 

 

Negative perceptions of MPB are real, and both sexes have them. We've all probably experienced it in our own lives to some degree, but it's interesting to have our personal experiences supported with something a little more controlled. Hence, a study conducted by Thomas F. Cash called, "Losing Hair, Losing Points?: The Effects of Male Pattern Baldness on Social Impression Formation." The abstract states:

 

"In the voluminous research on the psychology of physical appearance, the psychosocial effects of common male pattern baldness (MPB) have been largely neglected. The present experiment examined the influence of MPB on the initial social perceptions of men by both sexes. Eighteen pairs of photographic slides of balding and non-balding control men were matched on the actual age, race, and other physical attributes of the men. In a first-impressions context, 54 men and 54 women rated these stimulus persons on seven dimensions of social perception. MPB caused generally less favorable initial impressions, including lower ratings of physical attractiveness, judgments of less desirable personal and interpersonal characteristics, and misperceptions of age. The moderating effects of perceivers' sex and age and stimulus persons' age were examined, mostly without consequence. The baldness stereotype was substantially attenuated when physical attractiveness was statistically controlled."

 

Granted, these are "initial impressions" we're talking about here. Clearly, if people make the effort to get to know a man with MPB, many will undoubtedly abandon the negative first impression as silly and superficial. However, no one can argue with the power of first impressions, and sometimes people just won't go beyond them.

 

How we are perceived by others is important to most, but the degree to which it matters varies from person-to-person largely according to one's self-esteem. The more you value and respect yourself, the less affected you are by how others perceive you. However, self-esteem is tricky business. There are so many variables which influence it from cradle to grave. It takes a lot of effort to build and maintain self-esteem in the face of a myriad of forces which threaten to destroy it.

 

Considering how difficult it is, I think it's admirable if anyone attempts to increase their self-esteem by visualizing that which they respect and admire most and working a little bit every day to instill those traits in themselves. However, a couple of questions are in order. Is what you're striving to achieve contributing something positive to your life and/or the lives of others? Is it constructive rather than destructive?

 

What you value is yours. You don't have to justify it to anyone else, but you must justify it to yourself. Why do you really want to do it? Is the outcome truly worth the effort? 100% certainty is impossible, but if something keeps nagging at you, then it's not right, and you must address it in the healthiest way possible. That may involve some soul-searching which leads to a change of plans, and the new plan may be to do nothing at all.

 

Unfortunately, people with BDD lack the ability to moderate their extreme insecurities with logical thinking. Their perceptions of themselves and the world around them are severely compromised. It's a very serious psychological condition. Their obsessions greatly reduce their quality of life and may even become life-threatening.

 

Common symptoms of BDD include (from Wikipedia):

 

 

 

• Obsessive thoughts about (a) perceived appearance defect(s).
  
• Obsessive and compulsive behaviors related to (a) perceived appearance defect(s).
  
• Major depressive disorder symptoms.
  
• Delusional thoughts and beliefs related to (a) perceived appearance defect(s).
  
• Social and family withdrawal, social phobia, loneliness and self-imposed social isolation.
  
• Suicidal ideation.
  
• Anxiety; possible panic attacks.
  
• Chronic low self-esteem.
  
• Feeling self-conscious in social environments; thinking that others notice and mock their perceived defect(s).
  
• Strong feelings of shame.
  
• Avoidant personality: avoiding leaving the home, or only leaving the home at certain times, for example, at night.
  
• Dependent personality: dependence on others, such as a partner, friend or family.
  
• Inability to work or an inability to focus at work due to preoccupation with appearance.
  
• Decreased academic performance (problems maintaining grades, problems with school/college attendance).
  
• Problems initiating and maintaining relationships (both intimate relationships and friendships).
  
• Alcohol and/or drug abuse (often an attempt to self-medicate).
  
• Repetitive behavior (such as constantly (and heavily) applying make-up; regularly checking appearance in mirrors; see section below for more associated behavior).
  
• Seeing slightly varying image of self upon each instance of observing a mirror or reflective surface.
  
• Perfectionism (undergoing cosmetic surgery and behaviors such as excessive moisturizing and exercising with an aim to create an unattainable but ideal body and reduce anxiety).
  
• Note: any kind of body modification may change one's appearance. There are many types of body modification that do not include surgery/cosmetic surgery. Body modification (or related behavior) may seem compulsive, repetitive, or focused on one or more areas or features that the individual perceives to be defective.
  

 

 

This excerpt is from an article called, "Psychology of Hair Loss" on hairtransplantguide.com:

 

"Body dysmorphic disorder is an unusual psychological disorder that hair transplant surgeons see frequently. These patients are preoccupied with an imagined or slight cosmetic defect to the point that it becomes extremely distressing and may begin to impair day-to-day functioning. Patients may avoid friends, family, and work in some cases. The disorder can lead to depression and has been implicated in some suicides.

 

These individuals will often have had visits with numerous physicians, frequently complaining of poor care. When surgical attempts are made to correct the perceived defect, the patient usually remains dissatisfied. They are more prone to sue and threaten violence. Typically no amount of talk or ‘common sense’ will dissuade these patients from believing they have a significant problem. It is as if they have a very limited form of psychosis (break with reality which is firmly believed despite evidence to the contrary). If the patient can be convinced that the perceived defect is all right, it is not unusual for them to then fixate on another physical flaw.

 

Basically, this is a psychiatric disorder, not a surgical one. Convincing these patients to see a psychiatrist is problematic since they will frequently remain unconvinced that it is not a physical problem. These patients tend to make themselves miserable, and their successful treatment hinges on making the correct diagnosis."

 

 

Obviously, if you exhibit the above symptoms, then you should not undergo any type of surgery, and seek help as soon as possible.

 

If you have the capacity to think relatively clearly about the subject, then meditate on the fact that no amount or type of cosmetic surgery will solve all of your problems. The desire for cosmetic surgery is often a symptom of a deeper problem(s) which only a deeper solution(s) will truly be able to address. There is a place for HT, or any cosmetic surgery, but be realistic about what you think even an ideal cosmetic outcome will do for you in life.

[standbyme]

I'm in a similar position as far as job and family. I also have been affected by the hairloss I'm not confident around new people and do avoid social events more than I used to. But you have to realise that you have a great life and you should realise there are millions of people out there who love to switch lives with you. There are soldiers coming back from war who have been mamed, disfigured, you have to realise how lucky you are and concentrate on the positive things in your life of which there are many (by the sounds of it).

 

Sometimes you need to go through something worse than hairloss to realise how unimportant it is in the whole scheme of things (I hope you dont have to), just think about it, you are depressed because a few hairs on your head fall out, how silly is that? Hairloss doesnt stop you doing anything, you stop yourself. Yes its a pain in the ass but c'mon get some perspective.

 

I think about hairloss a lot and only recently have I started fin, I'm not sure if I am suitable for a HT even if I am I may never have one, I may end up with a small hair piece along my hairline that I mix in to my hair, I might just grow my hair and use concealers, theres lots of things we can do thesedays to make ourselves look better, like someone said your putting all the emphasis equating happiness with hair, that sounds like a phycological problem more than anything and the above post may interest you.

 

All I can tell you is be positive think of all the great things out there that can help hairloss, think of all the positive things in your life and be thankfull hairloss is the worst thing as many many many people would quite like to have that as their main problem in life.

[hairmee]

LOL! I love this thread. I knew that there would be guys coming to their own conclusions that I have "deeper" problems causing me to write what I did. How they are so wrong!

 

Nobody and I mean nobody walks in my shoes but me. So to pass judgment is silly. I don't need to explain that what I wrote is something that bothers me. It doesn't matter if I need 500 grafts or 20,000 grafts. It's the fact that you guys that posted here have the same problem I do and took the time to read my fascinating post because you've all been there or are going through it. I understand that this is not a psychological board of help. This is a hair loss website to share with others the issues / experiences that this hair-loss cancer infested disease causes.

 

Do I realize I might have it better than most? Well of course, this Hair-loss has not stopped me from living my life. It's just a nagging experience that drags you down like zenmunk explained above.

 

The hair-loss and transplant world is very interesting. To answer all of you: I have not done any surgery because of the simple fact that you only have a limited donor supply to handle a lot of coverage. I am not a meds guy and propecia gave me bad side affects. (I'm not alone in that category). As I only need 2K grafts now at 40, I could be a NW6 and like I said above....would seriously regret this later.

 

The reason I ask what should I do, well it's simple. I have seen awesome results with transplants and a lot that don't look that great in my opinion. The ones that look great are those that can be densely packed and temples taken care of for the smaller sessions. However, most docs do not take that risk and plan for future surgeries. So I know the industry is perfected with the right doctor. We just need more hairs to complete the picture.

 

So do I take the risk now and regret it later? It's simple, any regret is the biggest risk of all! God blessed me with more than you will ever know. I'm not messed up...just a human being that cares a little about myself.

[Capelli11]

Hairmee:

 

I must say as others have, that upon reading your first post I can absolutely understand what you are and/or have gone through. I almost felt like I wrote what you wrote to some extent and I could even add some lines about experiences that hairloss has held me down or made me feel bad. The only thing that has honestly saved me is the use of a concealer (Toppik). I say this in that if you only need about 2k grafts Toppik would be perfect and I absolutely suggest you try this product. It is a game changer esp if you don't want to go through with a HT. Have you tried this? It has allowed me to be able to at least TRY to enjoy my life and it has saved my 20's as I am in my 30's currently.

 

I don't think you have any "mental" issues as others perhaps have implied...I think you have the normal thoughts and insecurities that we all suffer from, myself included. I too have been on this forum and others for sooo many years researching every aspect to the point where I feel I literally know everything there is to know in regards to hair transplant education. With this said, my philosophy is well...I'm in my early 30's...I could continue living my Toppik lifestyle praying no one finds out but this has hindered me in other ways...can't go in the pool, hard to date anyone bc they will find out and then what?! or I could take the plunge and calculated risk (due to my due diligence on HT's) and try to at least take some control back in my life regarding hair for once and get a HT. My hair loss issues and they run probably as deep if not more than yours (as all day long I would worry about my hair) will never go away unless I try to act and do something about it. Granted will a HT solve this problem...i hope it will at least give me back the control that my recession has taken from me and I hope it gives me the confidence that I lacked with out it.

 

In closing I want to say that I too am waiting for the true cure to come out (i.e. stem cells, miracle cloning of hair, etc) but like others have said it could be many many years and I don't have the time. I feel at this point, it is either get a HT for myself or just drop it and move on...but my biggest regret/fear is not doing anything and just complaining about it for the rest of my life. I have thankfully decided to take a risk for once in my conservative life and try to be happy...because if I don't take this risk I will live in limbo and continue with thoughts such as your post, which will lead me to where I am at now...which is pergatory.

 

Hang in there and this forum is great to express any feelings you may have and it definitely lets you know you are not alone in this fight!

[multiplier]

@hairmee: what do you consider to be your greatest regret if you went with an HT procedure? That it wouldn't look natural? That you'd need more than once procedure? I'm referring to this:

 

As I only need 2K grafts now at 40, I could be a NW6 and like I said above....would seriously regret this later.

 

Obviously you might need 2-3 surgeries to reach your goal. But is that the end of the world? I just got surgery with a clinic (Shapiro) that, prior to today, spent a ton of time talking with me about my current state vs. the future state of my hairloss, and how to manage that accordingly. That is the mark of a good clinic. And a lot of the recommended on this board are willing to do the same for you.

 

I still can't get a handle on what worries you so much about the procedure when there are at least 10 world-class docs on this board producing fine results that would, maybe, only be detected by men who've had the procedure themselves, and often, not even then!

[multiplier]

Also: what Capelli said.

[multiplier]

Also again: @hairmee, would you mind posting a few photos so we can see what we're talking about? It makes all the difference.

[zenmunk]

hairmee,

 

The perception that you may have a deeper problem was given to us by the way in which you expressed yourself. The language you used, the overall vibe of your initial post, was kind of intense.

 

I, for one, was not trying to judge you. My apologies if it came across that way. I was just concerned and trying to offer some perspectives which may be helpful.

 

Of course we're suffering from hair loss, too. I don't think there is a man alive who has lost his hair who wouldn't say it adversely affects the quality of his life. However, it's a matter of degree. For some it's a relatively small problem; for others quite large.

 

We don't have the advantage of actually knowing you. We can't see your face or hear your voice when you talk about these things. We only have your words. If you don't want to be misinterpreted, then make sure what you write accurately reflects how you feel.

 

I'm happy to hear that your situation is not as dire as it appeared. Best of luck to you.

[DISpHAIR]

Hairmee,

 

I think you need to re read what you originally posted. You hve a completely different tone in this last post than you did in the original. In the last post you sounded depressed, making comments like "how my life would be so different if not for" . You provided vivid examples of when and how much this bothers you like your example at the barber and at the bar. In this last post you take the position, its not that bad its just a small problem. I think I have a perfect explanation for this kind of behavior but ill reserve my opinions for myself from now on. It is when we stop considering possibiltites that we become irrational. One more thing, what motivated you to post the original post if not to get feedback from memebers here? I viewed your post as a cry for help and still believe that it was. I didn't mean to offend you, but you must be aware that when you post something like you did, it is just human nature to judge your comments. I replied to your post stating what I believe is the truth and I still beileive is, and am actually more convinced now. Saying that "pssing judgment on you is silly as none of us have walked in your shoes" is a bit naieve, what did you expect? Would you have prefered for no one to have said anything? It is often the people who say they dont judge who are the most judemental.

[standbyme]

Yes it seems a few mixed messages in his post. Maybe he just had a bad day, we all get those. But he seems to have a grip on it, like most he understands its not the end of the world but an irritant. I do agree that there are a lot of photos out there where the person was very happy with there HT results but I wouldnt be, everyones different.. Its not a simple journey its a long road and the results arent always great.

 

But people on here who have (in there own opinion) good results from Ht's will always be pro ht so I dont think trying to pursuade him to have one is necesarilly the most balanced thing to do. Just like those who didnt get results wouldn't be as positive about them.

 

Only you know deep down if the ht route is for you

[ziggy00]

Hairmee,

 

Just because insecurities are common--or even rational--does not mean there isn't a psychological aspect to them. You clearly don't deny that your hair loss makes you feel bad. It's totally reasonable that it makes you feel bad. And it's clear that your hair loss affects your daily life in really harmful ways. Whether or not you choose to do something about it, it's really masochistic to believe that there's nothing mental at play here. Getting defensive when people try to give constructive advice only exacerbates the problem.

 

Addressing our own insecurities isn't a sign of weakness; it's a sign of strength.

[galtsglutch]

The hair-loss and transplant world is very interesting. To answer all of you: I have not done any surgery because of the simple fact that you only have a limited donor supply to handle a lot of coverage. I am not a meds guy and propecia gave me bad side affects. (I'm not alone in that category). As I only need 2K grafts now at 40, I could be a NW6 and like I said above....would seriously regret this later.

 

So do I take the risk now and regret it later? It's simple, any regret is the biggest risk of all! God blessed me with more than you will ever know. I'm not messed up...just a human being that cares a little about myself.

 

Hairmee,

 

I respect your view of your situation, but I personally would see it very differently.

 

For me, true regret is not doing anything. Living with "what ifs" is my worst nightmare. Life is about taking risks. If the risks work out, then it's a success; if not, then it's a mistake, but not the end of the world.

 

If you only need 2,000 grafts at age 40, the chances of you progressing to a NW6 are slim to none. Possible, yes; probably, hell no.

 

The fact that your minimal loss has affected you so much so far, as evidenced by your recent lament, would cause me to want to get the ball back in my court. I don't see how your emotional and mental situation could get any worse from getting a hair transplant, but I do see how it could get worse by loosing more hair.

 

In short, the odds are in your favor by a long shot. A calculated risk is not being reckless. A great many men with more emotional baggage than you have taken much bigger risks on hair transplants it seems to improve the lives of most. Even if the result is subpar, such as low yield, it often is still an improvement for most. It's quite rare to see botched job by the coalition docs, although it has been known happen.

 

I wish you the best in your decision.

[galtsglutch]

The hair-loss and transplant world is very interesting. To answer all of you: I have not done any surgery because of the simple fact that you only have a limited donor supply to handle a lot of coverage. I am not a meds guy and propecia gave me bad side affects. (I'm not alone in that category). As I only need 2K grafts now at 40, I could be a NW6 and like I said above....would seriously regret this later.

 

So do I take the risk now and regret it later? It's simple, any regret is the biggest risk of all! God blessed me with more than you will ever know. I'm not messed up...just a human being that cares a little about myself.

 

Hairmee,

 

I respect your view of your situation, but I personally would see it very differently.

 

For me, true regret is not doing anything. Living with "what ifs" is my worst nightmare. Life is about taking risks. If the risks work out, then it's a success; if not, then it's a mistake, but not the end of the world.

 

If you only need 2,000 grafts at age 40, the chances of you progressing to a NW6 are slim to none. Possible, yes; probably, hell no.

 

The fact that your minimal loss has affected you so much so far, as evidenced by your recent lament, would cause me to want to get the ball back in my court. I don't see how your emotional and mental situation could get any worse from getting a hair transplant, but I do see how it could get worse by loosing more hair.

 

In short, the odds are in your favor by a long shot. A calculated risk is not being reckless. A great many men with more emotional baggage than you have taken much bigger risks on hair transplants it seems to improve the lives of most. Even if the result is subpar, such as low yield, it often is still an improvement for most. It's quite rare to see botched job by the coalition docs, although it has been known happen.

 

I wish you the best in your decisions.

[hairmee]

Guys... I am very appreciative in your candor responses to both of my posts. I will not attempt to waste time in protracted conversations about those of you trying to figure me out from what I wrote in my first post. I respect all of your opinions, however, I am human and feel there is no way if you are on this web-site that you have not experienced my same experiences above. Just no way bro! We are all men (maybe a few women) on here that feel it is highly important to look and feel our best. Me spending 10K on FUE let's say and chase time and more money if I had to cover up and go to FUT (which I will never do).... may not be my best thing to do. I get that I may never take the risk. It is what it is! I am just expressing the doldrums/blues that come along with this hair-loss problem. I hope that I have not misled anyone that I was about to jump off a bridge or anything. lol! Of course, I would like to get my hair to a point that is satisfactory to me. However, Time off work, money that I could spend elsewhere are big deals to me if there is no guarantee it will look decent. Furthermore, chasing future loss knowing that I am not a meds guy is not something I am ready to do. Hair-loss is progressive. 1.) Why don't I get fixed over 2K grafts or less? Well it's a bit complicated for me. First, I will NOT do FUT (ever). FUE will be my only road because my hair is thin and I've always kept it to a 2 or 3 guard on the sides and back. I know that I do have the best contrast to skin (light brownish Blonde to fair skin). Also, if something does progress I could buzz my hair short and still have a bit of a hair line all around. In addition, all the research that I have done points to a flaw that it seems like there would be tons of guys out there with FUE procedures that I could talk to. I mean tons! It seems all of these clinics that do great work that have provided me a patient list, just can't find anyone around Northern Kentucky. I can tell you guys that I really haven't see anyone post on this thread that brags about the same exact feelings they had and that their HT was the best thing they've ever done. I'm just saying..... I guess when I get more posts of success stories of FUE transplants then the ones that are concerned for my situation, then I know for sure I have a winner in this. I just have not put my finger on the lack of successes stories related to how many procedures these clinics do combined in a month/ year over year. I want to see (in person) an FUE success. I have talked to a lot of guys that regret the FUT that went FUE on their second. They all have said....never do FUT. I trust that whole heartily because out of 10 FUT's that went FUE they all had the same theme. These guys were all over the country.....nowhere close as in a couple hour drive. In contrast, I have also talked to guys that went to a reputable Dr (wont say) that does tons of FUE's that got mediocre results. So this Hair-loss world is full of crap that you must navigate carefully...... remember it's your head so use it before you cut on it! lol! I do feel within my lifetime that there will be hair cloning (stem cell transplantation/rejuvenation) in the coming years. Replicel, Histogen, Aderans are onto some exciting stuff. I especially like the replicel videos and what they are doing. Very interesting. If that day ever comes... FUE is in the cards for sure depending on how expensive the cloning might be. Have a great night. I'll try to post some pics soon

[multiplier]

Curious - why are your objections to FUT so strong that you would "never do it"? Almost daily on this forum are photos posted people who get FUT with good results.

 

I also don't understand your friends who had FUT and then opted for FUE ("never again") - what's the point? The scar is already there. The "damage" is done. Might as well yield all you can via FUT excision, and then go for FUE once the donor area is taxed, no?

 

Let's face it - most people getting these surgeries (apart from the most statistically ideal candidates) aren't going to be magically transformed into looking like their teenage selves. They'll look like they have more hair. Sometimes it will look fuller, sometimes it will merely give the illusion of being "thinning", which can be accented with concealers. But to me, both of those options are better than fretting about it and wondering forever what might have been.

[zenmunk]

I respect all of your opinions, however, I am human and feel there is no way if you are on this web-site that you have not experienced my same experiences above. Just no way bro! We are all men (maybe a few women) on here that feel it is highly important to look and feel our best.

 

I think it's already been established that you are not as desperate about your hair loss as your original post communicated, and that's a good thing. However, it appears as if you may be missing the point some of us are trying to make. No one is saying that hair loss doesn't adversely affect the quality of our lives. We wouldn't have gotten a HT (or be considering a HT) if it didn't. It's not hypocritical to say that the dissatisfaction hair loss causes varies from person-to-person. There is a wide spectrum of disturbance ranging from a little annoyance to the feelings illustrated in my original post regarding BDD. The main point is if anyone finds themselves on the more serious end of the spectrum, then they should not get a HT, but rather seek psychological help.

 

Me spending 10K on FUE let's say and chase time and more money if I had to cover up and go to FUT (which I will never do).... may not be my best thing to do. I get that I may never take the risk. It is what it is! I am just expressing the doldrums/blues that come along with this hair-loss problem.

 

And, you have every right to express your feelings here. A very important part of this forum is the support element. Just realize that people are going to react accordingly to how you express those feelings. You also do not have to justify your decisions. If you never get a HT, then that's fine. Do what's right for you.

Edited October 1, 2011 by zenmunk

[wildflowerwildflower]

I appreciate what you're saying, I'm in a similar place. I think people under-estimate how crazy it is financially, because we're so desperate. For me, I've had to work through a process to come to accept this (my wife took longer!). But it's important to me. Of course it's part of self-esteem (which means it is psychological) and that's OK too. I like to wear nice clothes, shave, etc., all part of looking good which helps me feel good about myself.

 

I don't at all buy into the waiting concept for future technologies to come out. I had a friend back in the late 90s who kept investing in "green" energy companies because of the oil crisis, and all the companies failed. There are so many technologies out there, but there's also so much complexity involved, nothing is a sure thing that isn't present now. What is available now with HTs is not perfect, but it's damn good - it's evolved a lot in the past 10-20 years. A lot!

 

I've been debating for several years about this, working through my own issues, negotiating with my wife, figuring out how to make it work financially, etc., and I've finally reached a place that I'm going for it, despite my concerns and hang-ups. I see all these people on here that feel so much better about themselves, feel positive about their HTs, despite the scar, huge amount of money and time, etc. That's very rewarding and inspiring.

 

Also, as you are, I'm a non-meds guy. I have tried Propecia and had horrible side-effects, but I'm also wary of disrupting my hormones long-term for a non-health issue. I'm somewhat torn about getting a HT knowing that my native hair won't be helped by the drugs, but it is what it is. It's a choice I'm making. I think what it comes down to is each his own.

 

And lastly, I don't think anyone was passing judgment on you. We ALL have "deeper" problems and it's possible you were exposing some of yours (insecurities, fears, hang-ups...whatever) and guys were responding with support in various ways. I think it's OK also for folks to challenge you as a way of supporting you -- and that's what I saw. So keep on posting!

[DISpHAIR]

well put wildflower...i like the way you think

[hairmee]

Update: I am 46 now and never did anything. I haven't been on this board for years.... not sure what brought me here tonight.

 

I am honestly perplexed looking around on the internet and these forums that there is not a cure even close yet. Pretty Interesting to me. I have slowly receded from 2009 but still glad I have not done anything. However, the thought is still there...... take care guys and thanks for the posts from the past.

[HockeyGuy]

Good luck to you Hairmee. As with the others your initial post grabbed my attention because it could have been me writing it.

 

As for me, I'd rather go down swinging if I go down. I'm 3 months post-op from my 3rd... this one addresses the top/crown. Hoping for the best. It may require a second procedure for density but I'll cross that bridge in a year or so. Til then I'll use a camo and try to get comfortable around people again. I'm a performer so my appearance is very important. Being on a stage in front of thousands of people puts a new perspective on "uncomfortable in crowds" and "feel like everyone is staring at you" believe me.

 

I used to love performing but as I'm coming out of my 3rd "ugly duckling stage" I dread getting up to perform. Hoping this ends by the summer.