Trying to face reality

[angel706]

Hi all. Just as a refresher, I am a 36-year-old female who had about 1550 FUs transplanted into my temple areas (which had receded at age 17) in Feb. 2006 by Dr. Lehr. At the time, it seemed very thick everywhere else, and I was convinced that one transplant would be all it would take to help me finally like (maybe even love!) my hair.

 

16 months later, I can tell that the final results are pretty much in. Overall, I think he gave me a decent result...probably about 30-35 FUs/cm2, which was enough to give the illusion of a thinning area, rather than a mostly bald area, in my temples.

 

However, I am still not happy with my head of hair. Never really have been. It still seems to be thinner all around the front (not noticeable to anyone yet but me). I lose a lot of hair every day while showering and styling...maybe not a lot more than the 100 or so a day than is "normal," but more than that nonetheless. I have to face the fact that I may very well be headed for a Ludwig frontal type of situation. This is entirely likely, as my dad is a NW 5, one of his sisters has thin hair, and my maternal grandmother also had a very high hairline with slightly thinner hair behind it.

 

I guess I COULD attempt another transplant for the temple area (even considered bringing down the hairline about 1 cm, since it is a little on the high side). However, I have to weigh a lot of other things in the balance. I have three young boys to care for and a husband who thinks I'm beautiful whether I'm Rapunzel or totally bald. I don't really want the discomfort and downtime of another surgery, the weeks of worry afterward about how to hide the surgery, then the mental torture of the 4-5 month wait while growth kicks in.

 

I will never be that woman on the shampoo ad with the gorgeous mane. But I figure it could be much, much worse. I have a friend who has a truly enviable head of hair, but she also has the gene for Huntington's disease, and because of that probably won't be around much past her mid-40s. I'll take my problem anyday. I have another friend who is currently fighting her second round with lymphoma, is bald as a cueball from the treatments and is beautiful anyway. Her courage is tremendous. She has four young children, and there's a good chance she will be leaving them behind within a year or two. She'd trade for my problems anyday.

 

I am just trying to get on with my life at this point. If I continue to lose more hair, I will get a very short cut (think Jamie Lee Curtis). If I hate that, I will buy a few wigs, not make a big secret out of the fact that I wear them, and get on with life. Believe it or not, some days I wish the hair would just hurry up and fall on our so I could go buy the wigs and be done with it. How liberating would that be?

 

Maybe 5-10 years down the road, another treatment option will become available that I would consider again...but then again, I'm sure the cost would be pretty prohibitive. Wigs are dirt cheap in comparison.

 

Life is short. I'm gonna go try to live mine more fully and stop worrying about my stupid freakin' hair.

[angel706]

Hi all. Just as a refresher, I am a 36-year-old female who had about 1550 FUs transplanted into my temple areas (which had receded at age 17) in Feb. 2006 by Dr. Lehr. At the time, it seemed very thick everywhere else, and I was convinced that one transplant would be all it would take to help me finally like (maybe even love!) my hair.

 

16 months later, I can tell that the final results are pretty much in. Overall, I think he gave me a decent result...probably about 30-35 FUs/cm2, which was enough to give the illusion of a thinning area, rather than a mostly bald area, in my temples.

 

However, I am still not happy with my head of hair. Never really have been. It still seems to be thinner all around the front (not noticeable to anyone yet but me). I lose a lot of hair every day while showering and styling...maybe not a lot more than the 100 or so a day than is "normal," but more than that nonetheless. I have to face the fact that I may very well be headed for a Ludwig frontal type of situation. This is entirely likely, as my dad is a NW 5, one of his sisters has thin hair, and my maternal grandmother also had a very high hairline with slightly thinner hair behind it.

 

I guess I COULD attempt another transplant for the temple area (even considered bringing down the hairline about 1 cm, since it is a little on the high side). However, I have to weigh a lot of other things in the balance. I have three young boys to care for and a husband who thinks I'm beautiful whether I'm Rapunzel or totally bald. I don't really want the discomfort and downtime of another surgery, the weeks of worry afterward about how to hide the surgery, then the mental torture of the 4-5 month wait while growth kicks in.

 

I will never be that woman on the shampoo ad with the gorgeous mane. But I figure it could be much, much worse. I have a friend who has a truly enviable head of hair, but she also has the gene for Huntington's disease, and because of that probably won't be around much past her mid-40s. I'll take my problem anyday. I have another friend who is currently fighting her second round with lymphoma, is bald as a cueball from the treatments and is beautiful anyway. Her courage is tremendous. She has four young children, and there's a good chance she will be leaving them behind within a year or two. She'd trade for my problems anyday.

 

I am just trying to get on with my life at this point. If I continue to lose more hair, I will get a very short cut (think Jamie Lee Curtis). If I hate that, I will buy a few wigs, not make a big secret out of the fact that I wear them, and get on with life. Believe it or not, some days I wish the hair would just hurry up and fall on our so I could go buy the wigs and be done with it. How liberating would that be?

 

Maybe 5-10 years down the road, another treatment option will become available that I would consider again...but then again, I'm sure the cost would be pretty prohibitive. Wigs are dirt cheap in comparison.

 

Life is short. I'm gonna go try to live mine more fully and stop worrying about my stupid freakin' hair.

[Here I Grow Again]

Hi Angel706,

 

IMO, I think you have it figured out already. As you stated, you have plenty to be thankful for. Go right ahead and enjoy your life! It's much too short to worry about a non life-threatening issue as hair loss.

[bezane]

Hi Angel.....Glad to see you're happy about your decision, but I'll respectfully disagree with it. Like anything in life that needs serious contemplation before action, a HT needs to be done to the fullest and complete ability of both the patient and doctor. Not meaning that you have to aspire to the very thickest and very complete looking hair. Just that the approach, when done correctly, will leave you with feelings that don't have to be updated.

 

Getting on with your life is grand. I said I'd do that too. But days lead to months to years and to more than a decade of shying away from social situations. If you have ever been upset enough to go for a HT than you'll never be able to get it out of your mind.

 

That's what this forum is about in my opinion. A place that has made the decision that enough is enough. Solve the problem. With either abandoning the notion of a HT because your situation would yield bad results, even in the hands of the best surgeon, or getting in the hands of the very best to see your problem through to a satisfiable ending.

 

I think anyone that leaves a HT with more questions has made a mistake. It needs to be an A to Z plan.

 

So while I'm happy for you, you are a rare case. I tried everything. Even telling myself everyone was going bald. But I use to sit in a room an be preoccupied with everyone's head. Knowing that the full head of hair count was high and us balding ones were low. My imagination may run wild, but it was MY REALITY. And I know that I'm not alone.

 

Only when you do all you can do with professional results can you relax a bit and turn the page. At least for me.

 

Contrary to common belief.....I believe ALL ASPIRIN IS ALIKE. All surgeons are not.

[Bill - Seemiller]

angel,

 

I've seen you post around the forums before...good to hear from you.

 

I understand what you mean, but I encourage you not to lose heart. It sounds like 1500 grafts gave you a livable result, but at the same time, you would like to see more.

 

You are correct though...there is NOBODY who has had a hair transplant that will most likely be seen in shampoo ads, but in reality, how many girls/guys have you seen that WOULD be great in those ads? We all have imperfections, and all we can do is work to IMPROVE them, but not PERFECT them.

 

Clearly if you WANT another transplant, given that you were a candidate the first time, you will most likely be a candidate the second time. You can probably even improve your results even more if you want to...but clearly that is up to you.

 

Yes, of course, there is that terrible waiting period where you may also experience shockloss and look worse. It's all a matter of weighing cost to benefit and deciding which one weighs more.

 

Regarding the future, however, I think there are some potentially exciting things being researched. Where they go from here, however, is another story.

 

If nothing else, we can help be here to support you since we all understand what you are going through.

 

Bill

[angel706]

Thank you, gentlemen, for the support. It's one of the things this community does best.

 

And Bezane, yes, we will have to respectfully disagree. That's cool. I sometimes wish I was someone who could steel myself to go through a HT again. But I'm afraid I have a slightly different reality from a man.

 

What I'm facing up to is the fact that I do, in fact, have androgenic alopecia, or female pattern baldness. I got the bad hair genes in my family. Mine even seems to be taking more of the shape of a classic male pattern...loss and recession of the temples (and frankly, the entire side area above and in front of the ears is getting pretty darn thin, too). I've been trying to deny this for years, but I may as well fess up.

 

Because I am a woman, propecia is not an option for me. I also tried Minoxidil three years ago and couldn't tolerate the severe flaky, itchy scalp and the growth of unwanted facial hair. Given that those are the only proven treatments at this time, I have few medical options left.

 

I do not want to be someone who continues to "chase the problem" with more and more transplants. Even in the best of hands (H&W, Shapiro, Feller, Epstein, etc.), I don't think I would be happy with the density they can provide. My frontal third could probably eat up the majority of my donor area before I would be satisfied with the thickness.

 

I also have to face the fact that, since I lost TONS of hair after all my pregnancies due to the tumbling estrogen levels, I will also probably be a woman who thins significantly when menopause kicks in and the estrogen drops for good. Due to my family's history, this could be in as little as 5-7 years. I'd hate to use all or most of my donor area now thickening up the front, then hit menopause and thin significantly and look completely ridiculous.

 

Then there's the issue of cost. My family cannot afford to keep throwing money at this problem for a result that likely won't hold up over the long haul.

 

Bezane and Bill, I'm not trying to argue with you here. I'm just saying that HTs aren't the answer for everyone (but you already know that) and I am probably one of those folks. I will still pop up on the forums, though, because there are plenty of women out there who could use my perspective and experience.

 

Thanks again for the kind words. There are some great people on these boards.

[PCC]

Hi Angel,

 

I think your philosophy is admirable and well reasoned. I have been struggling/suffering with my hair since my teens and trying to "steel myself up" (as you put it) for what could be very well be my final HT with a top doc to refine and correct the outcomes of my earlier proceedures.I'm always going to be a balding male and only I can decide if it will be worth it to me. Frankly it is not my top priority right now with an enormously demanding career, plans to further my education, marital/family obligations, etc.

 

Despite all we go through I think you are right on by emphasizing the many true gifts in our lives. Your example of your friend living with a chronic and possibly terminal illness is very poignant. And yes I think you can be a huge asset here to both women and men so I sincerely hope you stick around.

 

Phil

[bayscholar]

Hi Angel,

 

It sounds as though you have Ludwig-type-diffuse thinning; a real challenge to improve w/ht alone. I may recommend an alternative approach for special occasion/going out - etc...Toppik -no it no the a life saver on its own..but seems to work best on diffuse hairloss suffers....and may be a alternative that works for looks and budget...shoot its 6bucks for the small size so what do you really have to lose.

 

Good luck and stay up, Jamie lee Curtis is hot.

[Bill - Seemiller]

Hi Angel,

 

I 100% agree with you. HTs are not for everyone, and certainly not a cure all.

 

I think it's obvious you have thought a lot about this, and clearly, if an HT will not make you happy, then you shouldn't go forward with it.

 

I am not an advocate of the hair transplant for all people...

 

I advocate what is in a person's best interest.

 

So you have no argument from me. Obviously, you can always choose to take the plunge again if you want at a later time.

 

We hope you keep in touch and share your wisdom with others on the forum as well.

 

Bill

[calvinmd]

Sounds like you're informed and thinking about ALL the long-term ramifications of more HT work. Of course that's the best way to be.

 

 

I hope you don't lose heart on the whole fight, though. Like others are saying, there's more treatments that may really pan out eventually. (And in the last few years, a few of the "other treatments" are finally beginning to look like they might not all involve expensive/scarring HT surgery!) I'm just saying that even though you're being smart & realistic for today, don't give up all hope for the future.

 

I mean, just the fact that you're pretty sure you have Androgenic Alopecia (as opposed to one of the other types of hair loss) sounds a little encouraging to me, believe it or not. Being the most common form, that's the type of hair loss that's getting the lion's share of the research and is probably the most likely to get new treatments within the foreseeable future.

 

(Some of the other types of hair loss aren't getting the same amount of effort thrown at them. And unfortunately for those cases, it stands to reason that hair loss will probably just become even MORE socially-unacceptable for those people once AA becomes widely reduced.)

 

 

------------------------------------------------

[angel706]

What ARE the latest options beyond HT? Those that may be available within the next 5-10 years? Just out of curiosity...

 

I've been home this weekend attending my husband's 25-year class reunion with him, and spent some time looking at my family's old photo albums. Man, my hair has ALWAYS been a mess. Not straight, not curly, difficult to control, a "fivehead" since birth...jeesh. I have to laugh over it...

[onlygirl?]

Originally posted by angel706:

 

What I'm facing up to is the fact that I do, in fact, have androgenic alopecia, or female pattern baldness. I got the bad hair genes in my family. Mine even seems to be taking more of the shape of a classic male pattern...loss and recession of the temples (and frankly, the entire side area above and in front of the ears is getting pretty darn thin, too). I've been trying to deny this for years, but I may as well fess up.

 

 

 

Wow..just read this description..this is totally me, although I'm thinning out on the top of my head, as well as the sides and temples. I'll be 29 next month... sigh.

 

I'm having a really hard time coping with it recently, so suppose will have to start reading many of the threads on this site so I can figure out my plan of attack. ;-)

 

I hear ya though! I admit on one level a part of me wants to be done with all of the fixation, and just have it all go away, so I can just get a wig and put it all behind me (like what you said in one of your posts!) It's the living with it and watching it progress that is proving rather impossible for me at the moment.

 

Anyway, I wish I had something constructive to add to this thread, but I'm sorry I don't. Good luck!

[angel706]

Thanks, onlygirl. Good luck to you, too. I'm considering going to try on wigs sometime this week. Could be fun!

[Tarasilk]

Angel...I think you have put things in persepctive incredibly well. And I am so sorrty about your friends....it does make our little problems seem so trivial by comparison.

 

Just as an aside...I think that short hair is great. I have worn mine short for a long time. I am several years older than you (early 40's), and I think that longer hair draws attention to itself, but shorter hair allows other features (such as nice skin or pretty eyes) to shine through, and often even enhances them.

 

By the way, I think that more women wear wigs/hairpieces/use other options than we realize!! There's a woman I know, a few years older than me, that I have always envied for her impeccably styled, full and glossy dark hair. She confided to me after I told her about my HT that she has used Toppik for YEARS, and would never leave the house without it. I had NO idea.

 

Wishing you the best of luck with whatever you decide!!!!

[PCC]

Hey Angel,

 

If that was your husband's 25 year high school reunion that would make him the same age as me. Mine was this spring (although I did not attend) having graduated in '82. I just turned 43.

 

The years have flown by so fast I can hardly believe it's been that long! Let me tell you it was great fun coming of age as a young hair loss sufferer during the "big hair and looks" obssessed era of the 80's. Like all of us I would certainly make some different decisions in life if I could do it over again. But I also wouldn't want to have to relive some of the things I've gone through that made me who I am today.

 

Phil

[angel706]

Hey Phil,

 

Yep, Hubby graduated in '82. I graduated in '88, at the height of the "big hair" era. At least for the girls, three-inch-high bangs were not uncommon. Some of the pictures of my hair from those years are MOST embarrassing.

 

In other news, I visited my dermatologist yesterday to try to get a few answers: genetic thinning or not? Any way to tell how far it will progress? Since I shed so much hair temporarily after babies when hormones were tumbling, will I lose it again (and permanently) at menopause when hormones tumble for good?

 

I didn't get many clear answers. She said it could be chronic telogen effluvium, genetic thinning that is mostly limited to the temples in my case, or that it could be the start of genetic thinning that could turn out to be more widespread and diffuse. So in short, I know about as much as when I went in. Although she said if it's chronic TE, there is a good chance I could eventually come out of it.

 

Then she had the nerve to ask me if I had considered seeing a therapist because I seemed "overly concerned" about this issue. This from a woman with very thick hair. I found that comment insensitive and uncalled-for. I'm just looking for a definitive answer...which I did not get.

 

Also tried on some wigs for fun and out of curiosity. Found a lady who carries the Raquel Welch line, and was very impressed with the synthetics with the monofilament tops. They're around $300, last a year or two with proper care, and look and move as much like real hair as I've seen. Not sure I'm ready to go under one yet (particularly with summer setting in), but at least I know that I would like how I look in one. Also found out that long hair gives me a "horse face"...good to know!

[PCC]

Angel,

 

How could we forget the big "hoop" earings, the leg warmers, the music, movies, TV shows, and cars of that magical era? Ah the memories are flooding over me!

 

It sounds like at this point you have educated yourself so well about this issue that you actually know more about it than your doctors (which is the case for many of the more active posters here). It seems like a GP or even a dermatologist just isn't well versed enough in it to give that definitive answer. Maybe it would pay off to seek out a specialist affiliated with a med school or teaching hospital?

 

From someone who has been on the receiving end of many snide remarks/questions and uncomfortable looks about my hair, sorry about the doctor's comment. This generally comes from those who don't have a clue what it's like to deal with this (i.e. have near perfect hair)and I just think it shows their true ignorance. I guess on a positive note for me it has made me more sensitive and compassionate to others with similiar difficulties. For me it has definately been an example of "whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger".

 

Although it isn't the outcome you had hoped for, a wig or hairsystem might be a very good option. Many women wear them just to get a different "look". There's no stigma to this like there can be for men.

 

Funny that you mention this, there is a middle aged lady at my second job with very fine and thin hair. I don't work directly with her and don't know her very well but she has had a permed style to give more body and coverage. Due to my own issues I've always been aware of it. The other night she came in for her shift with a full head of hair in a new style. I almost didn't recognize her at first from a distance without my glasses. She replied something like "Yeah it's me-I bought it".

 

Oh, I seriously doubt you could ever have a "horse face".

 

Phil