Senior Member mgem Posted February 2, 2009 Senior Member Share Posted February 2, 2009 Hi everyone need some advice or an opinion please.Give you some background info first.Iam 40yrs old from uk i have had a bald patch since i was about 7/8yrs old which was caused by treatment for scurvy,the treatment was betnovate which either burnt my scalp or the scurvy was scratched off taking hair with it.Therefore always had long hair to cover the patch so not many people know about it, even my children as far as i know.I have come close to having ht in uk and in greece but i did make an expensive mistake with laser treatment and a h/system from a certain clinic/studio.I read saf's story on a website which led me to spex and dr feller,after meeting spex i knew i had a chance of getting rid of my combover (ht april 09)now for the advice. I haven't told anybody what i am doing including my wife.If i tell her she wont be impressed, if i tell her it's in new york then it becomes a family holiday, my little secret is looking dodgy ,the budget is blown and telling the kids i'm sightseeing on my own for the day in greatneck!! anyway my idea is have ht get back, at some point she will find out. say i had ht at a top quality uk clinic.I feel pretty bad doing things this way but i don't know how else to deal with it. Grateful for any opinion similar situ thanks My Hair Loss Website - Hair Transplant with Dr. Feller Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member mgem Posted February 2, 2009 Author Senior Member Share Posted February 2, 2009 Hi everyone need some advice or an opinion please.Give you some background info first.Iam 40yrs old from uk i have had a bald patch since i was about 7/8yrs old which was caused by treatment for scurvy,the treatment was betnovate which either burnt my scalp or the scurvy was scratched off taking hair with it.Therefore always had long hair to cover the patch so not many people know about it, even my children as far as i know.I have come close to having ht in uk and in greece but i did make an expensive mistake with laser treatment and a h/system from a certain clinic/studio.I read saf's story on a website which led me to spex and dr feller,after meeting spex i knew i had a chance of getting rid of my combover (ht april 09)now for the advice. I haven't told anybody what i am doing including my wife.If i tell her she wont be impressed, if i tell her it's in new york then it becomes a family holiday, my little secret is looking dodgy ,the budget is blown and telling the kids i'm sightseeing on my own for the day in greatneck!! anyway my idea is have ht get back, at some point she will find out. say i had ht at a top quality uk clinic.I feel pretty bad doing things this way but i don't know how else to deal with it. Grateful for any opinion similar situ thanks My Hair Loss Website - Hair Transplant with Dr. Feller Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member lost my swagger Posted February 2, 2009 Senior Member Share Posted February 2, 2009 i think you should find a way to tell your wife.. kids are one thing but your wife is gonna know you did somethin anyway.. hts are difficult to hide.i would think she will be more upset with you when she finds out the truth that you kepy HER in the dark about it too.... let her know its important to you man. she may not like it but hopefully she will understand it and support you... just my 2 cents.. all the best man *** RESULTS WILL 100%, without a DOUBT, VARY*** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member Mr. GQ Posted February 3, 2009 Senior Member Share Posted February 3, 2009 i concur with lms Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member balody Posted February 3, 2009 Senior Member Share Posted February 3, 2009 i have never heard anything so ridiculous in all my life! see you on jeremy kyle under the heading "husband, did you go to america and have cosmetic surgery when you should have been at work?" come on mate,i'd have a rethink. "let's have those all important lie detector tests" 2381 fut Dr Bessam Farjo 2201 fut Dr Bessam Farjo 2000+ fut Dr Bessam Farjo My Hair Loss Website - Hair Transplant with Dr. Bessam Farjo challenge the unchallenged. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill - Seemiller Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 mgem, Depending on the age of your children, I understand why you wouldn't want to go into detail about hair transplantation. However, I do agree that talking to your wife about it is important. In my marriage, my wife and I handle all big expenses together. Hair transplant surgery is very expensive and in my opinion, such an expense shouldn't be hidden from your wife. If she ever found out about it and you didn't tell her, she could become angry, and in my opinion, I wouldn't blame her. Married men and women should know each other, which includes the inner struggles we face such as hair loss. Talk to her about it and explain how important this is to you. Though I don't believe any marriage partner needs the other's "permission" to do something, a marriage is about mutual love and respect which includes making big decisions together, especially ones that impact the whole family (finances). Perhaps your wife will be more understanding than you think. My wife was very supportive when I went through all 3 of my procedures. Best wishes, Bill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member mgem Posted February 3, 2009 Author Senior Member Share Posted February 3, 2009 Thanks for the advice My Hair Loss Website - Hair Transplant with Dr. Feller Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member canadian_buba Posted February 3, 2009 Senior Member Share Posted February 3, 2009 Tell the wife buddy! If it means that much to you she should understand. Cheers Canadian_buba 3500 Grafts Dr. Rahal Jan 12 09 My Hair Loss WebLog Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member MrJobi Posted February 5, 2009 Senior Member Share Posted February 5, 2009 I didnt tell anyone about my procedures but if I was married I surely would JOBI 1417 FUT - Dr. True 1476 FUT - Dr. True 2124 FUT - Dr. True 604 FUE - Dr. True My views are based on my personal experiences, research and objective observations. I am not a doctor. Total - 5621 FU's uncut! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member mgem Posted February 5, 2009 Author Senior Member Share Posted February 5, 2009 I appreciate all the replies for making me see abit of sense. This forum is a big help My Hair Loss Website - Hair Transplant with Dr. Feller Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member beardywierdy Posted February 6, 2009 Senior Member Share Posted February 6, 2009 Hi Mate I am from the UK and off to Belgium next week for my HT. I felt like you, embarrassed, ashamed etc about this HT business, but I told my wife about it (back when I was researching, a few years back). Initially, she didn't have a clue about what I was talking about, and thought that the whole thing was very wierd; In fact she associated HTs with the likes of Elton John and poor plug surgery etc. However,when I sat her down and explained the procedure, showed her recent HT results from top surgeons, she came round to the idea. I also explained how hairloss was making me feel and asked her how she would feel if her hair fell out. For some reason, many women feel that MPB is an inevitable part of life for a man and they should simply, 'get over it', and some feel that we are legitimate targets,'Hey, you have lost a bit since last time i saw you' etc etc. Imagine if the tables were turned and we were saying,'Morning, fatty, my, you have put weight on in the last few years'. Explain to her that you are not really adding anything you never had, like,a boob job for instance, you are simply redistributing hair to where it used to be. In fact in your case you are simply redressing the balance due to problems caused by medication, if that's not a legitimate reason, then what is? My advice: come clean and explain everything, because there is no way you will be able to hide it, unless you spend a few months abroad of course. It may take her a while to come round but in my experience honesty is the best policy. Good luck- Failing that, you could always trade her in when you have a full head of hair again ;-) ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member mgem Posted February 6, 2009 Author Senior Member Share Posted February 6, 2009 Iam going to talk to my wife this weekend about it, if you see me on jeremy kyle next week she doesn't approve haha!. It's a very personal thing and i must admit i've had/have terrible feelings of guilt & vanity do you know what i mean, but it is great to be able to talk about it & get invaluable advice off likeminded people, it's not exactly no1 subject to talk about at the pub with my mates. thanks again for making me feel better about the whole thing. mgem My Hair Loss Website - Hair Transplant with Dr. Feller Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member mmhce Posted February 6, 2009 Senior Member Share Posted February 6, 2009 mgem, I understand what you're going through. I too have struggled thinking how I would break the news to my loved ones. The response from them would inevitably "But we love you just the way that you are, and there's no need to change anything about yourself". But like most of us on this forum, you're a metrosexual, yuppie and/or just plain vain and you want to increase your beauty/sexual image. It's ok. But you need to find a way to tell your wife, because if she finds out any other way...you'll be in trouble! take care... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member imissthebarber Posted February 9, 2009 Senior Member Share Posted February 9, 2009 I agree with the others. I hope it went well. Even if you feel it didn't go great to begin with, she may come round to the idea over time, it was probably a big surprise to her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member mgem Posted February 9, 2009 Author Senior Member Share Posted February 9, 2009 I told my wife last night, totally behind me, what an idiot i've been making mountains out of molehills, but i can look forward to april alot easier now. Once again thankyou all for your advice. mgem My Hair Loss Website - Hair Transplant with Dr. Feller Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member mmhce Posted February 9, 2009 Senior Member Share Posted February 9, 2009 I told my wife last night, totally behind me, It's called LOVE take care... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill - Seemiller Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 I told my wife last night, totally behind me, what an idiot i've been making mountains out of molehills, but i can look forward to april alot easier now. Once again thankyou all for your advice. mgem Right on mgem. I think you'll find this level of honesty will enhance your relationship and make your hair restoration journey a whole lot easier :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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