"If I were in your shoes, I'd probably tell her after the procedure. You'll avoid any urges she may have had to talk you out of it and, if she cares about you, she'll share in your excitement and anticipation. "
Ive decided to tell her after the procedure when it comes up. I dont know her well enough where I feel she would understand the pain I have gone through all these years - and I agree that a lot of people still think "barbie doll plugs" when they think of transplants...