Petrified that everyone will know about my HT

[Turbo]

Hi

Is it just me or anyone else afraid of getting close to a girl again, for fear that she will freak out and tell the world about my HT?.. I am mainly worried about a future new girlfriend playing with the back of my head (laying down beside you for example) and have come up with an elaborate plan to say that I dont like my head touched when Im asleep as it makes me jump out of my skin!

Then I'm worried that if I have children my kid(s) will want to tell other kids ect!

Am I the only person here with such anxieties?

 

I might add though that I was teased at school constantly about my high forehead and before I had my first HT, a comment by a young boy on a train about my high forehead made the decision to go ahead for me! I only started dating (for real) at 30! So I have always had my head/hair on my mind really..

[used2beshaggy]

Heh, I'm right with you there on the high forehead. Even as a kid, I hada big forehead. Luckily, having an all-around big head made my high forehead more proportioned. I had a transplant on my hairline a little over 3.5 months ago(waiting to see where that takes me). Your concerns are valid. I was able to hide my transplant from everyone outside of my immediate family and my girlfriend. She thought I was a bit crazy for going through with it, but she stuck by my side, so I guess that says something about her character . I think the scar created by a proper transplant today is much less apparent. I've had haircuts with the hairdresser never saying a word, though maybe she knew but didn't want to embarass me . You'll get through it. I plan on a second transplant in the next 5 years unless the meds really work a miracle on me. Good luck!

[Tom R.]

triffid, What you're feeling is normal amd most of us have been there to some degree. But I'm curious about your future concerns. I've had four HT's and I wouldn't concern myself with any woman running her fingers anywhere she likes including the back of my head. Do you have a wide donor scar? If not, I don't think a woman running her fingers or massaging the back of your head will notice a thing.

 

If you are really pleased with the results of your hair transplant and there are no cosmetic concerns regarding the grafts, I'd move on and worry about something else. If you're really concerned, go to someone you absolutley trust and get their opinion and that should ease your anxiety some. But in any case, what you will find with others in this world is that they really ahve so much going on in thier own lives that your scalp will get little or no attention from them unless you tell yourself it's an issue. I hope you enjoy your new head of hair. Now go out and get that new chick you're thinking about.

[MrJobi]

if it is a good HT then it would be rare for them to spot the scar. I have one area where the scar is a bit more pronounced but I would say it was a baseball accident or some childhood event..

 

People have no clue

[auggie]

A few thoughts.

 

One: when i was young and selfish.. by the time a lady figured out about the ht. the "deal was done". by that time... the chick is either into you, or not.. never had the HT turn anyone off.

 

two: when the kids are young.. they really don't think of that stuff. i remember my daughter being about 2 to 3 when she was sitting on my lap and kind of looking at the "plugs" with ther fingers.. obviously at that age, not much more than processing things.. but i think they think "that's just dads head".

 

now my biggest concern that my kids are 10 and 9, is the "what's up with your dad's hair" that may be coming from one of thier friends when we are out on the boat, or in a convertible, windy day.. no hat.. etc.

perhaps its already happened. don't know. all my kids friens seem cool. no odd stares. but who knows.

 

dealt with this since the 'dark days" for over 20 years. looks good now, but i think under the right conditions one can still tell.

more concerned about emabarassing my kids than myself. but they are so self assurred, i doubt (and hope) it will not be an issue.

my wife has always been supportive.

 

believe me, the right woman will not care. you can be up front with good friends.. we even kid around sometimes. you get a feel for the mean spirited folk and they shred you anyway.. if not for your hair.. they will find something else.

be happy!

[auggie]

My vote: leave it alone for a while. I know that no one wants to hear it, I know times have changed. but it took years for my ht to look "normal".

 

granted, i had the old plugs 20 years ago. several "corrective" surguries over the years. it always seemed it looked worse after.... BUT WITH TIME, everything seems to settle in. my HT looks pretty darn good now. I don't think anyone really notices . I alway's judged it on the "eye drifters". in my 20's.. for the 1st few years.. everyone. i really don't notice eye dfrifting at all anymore.. and believe me i am still very on the 'look out for it".

 

one odd thing. i would say 99% of the people i know would have no idea i have a ht unless i bring it up, or under certain conditions. i do a lot of boating, i like convertibles.. and my old style ht (even with the corrections) still don't look 100% natural (hairline too straight) under those conditions).

I have found that diffusing it, by brinigng it up first and being friendly and informitive about is really the way to go. most people are really cool about it, and as stated, the smirkers.. well, nothing i can do about them anyway.

 

but i digress.. as i said, for years, meeting people of all ages, races, backgrounds, etc hardly everyone look at me "normal" (perhaps now that i am in my mid 40's, thinner odd hair is normal).. BUT every once in a while... someone will spot it straight away.

 

it's odd. last weekend, i was out to dinner with my wife. hair looked good. met some folks at the bar.. nice conversation.. no eye drift... waiter fine, etc... one lady as we were waiting for the car was looking right at my head. she was transfixed (not in a good way).. just kept staring. it's odd. some folks can pick it right out! few and far between, thank God) but i guess some people just have a good eye for it. perhaps hairdressers?, who knows.

 

hang in there. don't hide. live your life. it will come, and everything will be ok. also, MAKE it happen, dont be a victom, fool yourself if you have to, but what you feel about yourself is how the world will fell about you. portray who you are, and "they" will follow!

do it!

[Hairy Godmother]

believe me, the right woman will not care.

 

Very true. If you are going to do something about your hairloss; DO IT FOR YOURSELF.

[miked]

I too had concerns but now that I've gone through with it I realize just how stealthy HTs can be.

 

I bet most women would love to grow breasts over a 6 to 12 month period to avoid the sudden appearance of mounds on their chests.

 

that is essentially the case with HTs. it is a glacial transformation only to be truly appreciated via time lapse photography.

 

if you don't have to shave for it then its even better.

 

I have a 10 year old son that notices just about everything. However he has yet to mention anything about my hair. Running my own fingers along the donor yields no clues as to a scar. therefore I am certain neither my wife nor my mistress would ever notice it with their fingers.

 

Now, this is not to say that shaving down, having 1000's of red dots on your head and an oozing staple track from ear to ear will not be noticed. That would probably need some explanation and a loving girlfriend.

[Hairy Godmother]

miked:

Just wanted to note, it amazes me that some of our 50, 60 and even 70 year old men patients who have been married anywhere from 30-50 years want to schedule this to where their wife's won't know they have had the HT. Mainly because they say their wife's would think they are being ridiculous. Then we have the opposite, the wife's that want to plan their husband's HT for them without telling them, usually a birthday present. They want to send in some photos and money without ever mentioning it to their husband. But, usually it is because they know their hubby wants the procedure but would never spend the money on it or he doesn't want to appear vain. lol.

And on several occassions we get the husband - wife HT day, where they both come in and get their ht done...

[imissthebarber]

My vote: leave it alone for a while. I know that no one wants to hear it, I know times have changed. but it took years for my ht to look "normal".

 

granted, i had the old plugs 20 years ago. several "corrective" surguries over the years. it always seemed it looked worse after.... BUT WITH TIME, everything seems to settle in. my HT looks pretty darn good now. I don't think anyone really notices . I alway's judged it on the "eye drifters". in my 20's.. for the 1st few years.. everyone. i really don't notice eye dfrifting at all anymore.. and believe me i am still very on the 'look out for it".

 

one odd thing. i would say 99% of the people i know would have no idea i have a ht unless i bring it up, or under certain conditions. i do a lot of boating, i like convertibles.. and my old style ht (even with the corrections) still don't look 100% natural (hairline too straight) under those conditions).

I have found that diffusing it, by brinigng it up first and being friendly and informitive about is really the way to go. most people are really cool about it, and as stated, the smirkers.. well, nothing i can do about them anyway.

 

but i digress.. as i said, for years, meeting people of all ages, races, backgrounds, etc hardly everyone look at me "normal" (perhaps now that i am in my mid 40's, thinner odd hair is normal).. BUT every once in a while... someone will spot it straight away.

 

it's odd. last weekend, i was out to dinner with my wife. hair looked good. met some folks at the bar.. nice conversation.. no eye drift... waiter fine, etc... one lady as we were waiting for the car was looking right at my head. she was transfixed (not in a good way).. just kept staring. it's odd. some folks can pick it right out! few and far between, thank God) but i guess some people just have a good eye for it. perhaps hairdressers?, who knows.

 

hang in there. don't hide. live your life. it will come, and everything will be ok. also, MAKE it happen, dont be a victom, fool yourself if you have to, but what you feel about yourself is how the world will fell about you. portray who you are, and "they" will follow!

do it!

 

This is a great post auggie, I'd like to encourage you to post more often on here. The question of whether HT's look natural is often taken for granted on this forum. Do people who don't know about the HT or the fact you have "more hair" ever make comments after all the corrections or is it just funny looks?

[MrJobi]

I had 3 ht's and manage to hide them from women I was dating..After a week or so , the top of the head looks normal ( unless you have no native hair to cover it). My suggestion is to use some dermatch before to thicken the area so after the surgery it looks the same. As far as the donor area, just keep the hair long enough to hide the stitches and pos top scar..

 

If you are dating someone currently then hopefully your relationship is strong enough to deal with this small improvement in your life