2nd HT - Work: Who to tell and when to tell

[iwantfullfrontal]

I’m about to take the plunge for my 2nd HT. I was very happy with the first one that I had done 3 years ago, but it was a very small procedure and I always knew it was going to require another round for what I was trying to accomplish. However, the circumstances of round 2 are going to be a little bit different.

 

 

When I had my first HT, I was lucky enough to have a job where I could work from home. With that being said, I didn’t go back into the office for a month. This time around, not only is the procedure going to be twice the size, I have a job where I can’t work from home. I’m going to have to ask for time off (aka working from home).

 

 

I’m generally a pretty up-front person (i.e. – Don’t really care about what people think about me), but this is going to be the first time I have to tell my boss(es). I wanted to know if other people had an experience with this. What was it like? What was their reaction? What was your approach? I’m not really prepared for a “no” answer but I can imagine the shock value will be enough to coax them into a “yes”

 

 

I also am well aware the telling my bosses will mean eventually my co-workers will know, no matter what my bosses may say about keeping it private. Now, with that being said, it’s a very small staff. We only have 8 other people. I’m not going to play the “hiding” game because I feel like that’s more embarrassing because it’s like you have something to be ashamed of. This day in age, I don’t think this is something to be ashamed of.

 

 

 

I have the consult at the end of this week – he’s a very well-known doctor that has almost all positives. With that being said, I know I’m going to book the appointment. I want to do the procedure in July. How much time do I have and any advice would be great.

[OtherSyde]

I actually just faced this exact issue a week or so ago. Very similar circumstances; my second HT, small staff of around 7 or 8 people, needing about 10 days off work, having to explain it to superiors and gain permission, the inevitability of everyone else knowing, etc.

 

My boss, a Chief (Navy), who's in his late 30's, just said something along the lines of "Yeah, well, it's not a big deal, man; you're relatively young and you want to have hair. Makes sense in today's society. You've got leave on the books and the financial resources to do it. Do what you want."

 

My lieutenant approached me later as well (after reviewing the paperwork for the request I'd submitted), looking closely at my hair/hairline and squinting, then shaking his head and saying "Wow, I never even knew. Looks perfect, I never would've guessed. Mine's starting to go in the front too; where'd you go? Bosley?" At which point I advised him to avoid "Botchley" and told him who I was going to (Dr. Gabel in Oregon).

 

A coworker overheard the conversation, so I just told everyone about it when they asked. I also showed them a picture of me essentially bald from about 2 years ago, and they could all pretty much see why I did it: I am not a good-looking bald guy.

 

My strategy this time is to leave the hair around/above the donor strip as long as I can get away with, probably a #5 or #6 so it hides the scar for a while. The recipient area should be largely de-scabbed by the time I return to work after a week or so, so it won't be conspicuous. Especially since I'm really only doing the frontal hairline this time.

 

I'm not even weird about people knowing anymore. Simple explanation for anyone that asks why I would do something like this: F*ck going bald. Not happening to me.

 

But yeah, if you manage to get your main boss (read: most influential over any other bosses) alone and get real serious, and ask if you can make a personal request without judgment, they will likely say yes; they will likely also be, at the very least, neutral; most people are sensitive enough to respect someone's personal choices and feelings, and on top of that, few bosses/managers want to risk being viewed as insensitive or emotionally abusive overlords anyway.

 

This wasn't the case at my (all-male) last command with my first HT; a lot of old-school military guys, half of them bald or balding, grizzled and gruff, and not very sympathetic. Everyone poked fun and thoght I was wasting my time and money, but I just took it and persevered. I didn't care, I only cared about where I'd be 2 or 3 years down the road, and it paid off great.

 

This time I was ready to battle the same ridicule and negativity, but everyone was weirdly apathetic, or even supportive. Maybe it's because there are several women in my new staff, all in the 22-25 age range, so they understand the pressures of modern society and its effects on body image better. Maybe it's that everyone at my new command is considerably younger and more used to cosmetic surgeries as a regular thing in life. I don't know. In any case, unless you have some real jerkoffs at your workplace, I'd just stick to your guns; "I don't feel like I look right without hair." I totally agree about not hiding it, beyond leaving some longer hair to politely cover the scar so it's not just out there in everyone's faces.

[iwantfullfrontal]

Hey OtherSyde -

 

Thanks a lot for posting your story - I definitely appreciate it. Helps give me a little bit of motivation moving forward.

 

Sounds like your workplace environment is even a little more intimidating than mine, though I'm relatively new to the job and I really don't know about my bosses (they are both wild cards). Did you actually have to put "hair transplant" on your leave request form?

 

I hear you about "not being a good-looking bald guy". I've tried the shaved head - it just doesn't work. My ears are too big and I think my head is too small, quite frankly. I also agree with you that I really shouldn't care about short-term ridicule (probably won't be ridicule, will be more like awkward-ness), especially given that I can't see myself there in more than another year anyway.

 

Looks like you're my age - do you have any pics before/after your HTs? I'm a frontal-case as well.

[OtherSyde]

Hey OtherSyde -

 

Thanks a lot for posting your story - I definitely appreciate it. Helps give me a little bit of motivation moving forward.

 

Sounds like your workplace environment is even a little more intimidating than mine, though I'm relatively new to the job and I really don't know about my bosses (they are both wild cards). Did you actually have to put "hair transplant" on your leave request form?

 

I hear you about "not being a good-looking bald guy". I've tried the shaved head - it just doesn't work. My ears are too big and I think my head is too small, quite frankly. I also agree with you that I really shouldn't care about short-term ridicule (probably won't be ridicule, will be more like awkward-ness), especially given that I can't see myself there in more than another year anyway.

 

Looks like you're my age - do you have any pics before/after your HTs? I'm a frontal-case as well.

 

I believe the exact wording in the abstract section of the request chit went like: "Respectfully request permission to receive minor hair transplantation touch-up procedure on 25MAR2013." (The date has now been changed to March 27). That was for my upcoming one. For the first one I wrote basically the same thing, minus the "touch-up" part.

 

I have a butt-load of pics, chronicling my entire procedure - before, during, and after! Click the link in my signature below that says "My Hair Loss Web Site!" Leave a comment if you would too Good luck, and I hope your results come out as great as mine have!

[iwantfullfrontal]

Oh wow - thanks for the guidance to your page. I don't know if mine has the same type of link, but I have a journal from 3 years ago for my first (and very small) procedure). You'll see why I am wanting a follow-up procedure but what I'm wondering is WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH with a 2nd procedure?

Your hair looks wonderful from the first go-round. Not to mention, your type of balding was more diffuse than mine. I progressed so fast that I don't intend to lower the hairline that much.

 

Your doc did a wonderful job. Thanks for your encouragement. I'm still trying to scratch out how to go about asking for the time off, but it's going to happen one way or another. My consult is in a couple weeks and I'm going to want to schedule it ASAP.