self esteem issues

[thinkingaboutit]

Curious from HT vets,..Did you feel self-conscious, depressed, uneasy after your HT?

If so, how long did it last before you broke out of your depression or were able to walk around, especially amongst co-workers or associates, before you did not feel uneasy anymore, wondering if there were unwelcome aspects of HT still drawing attention to you?

[thinkingaboutit]

Curious from HT vets,..Did you feel self-conscious, depressed, uneasy after your HT?

If so, how long did it last before you broke out of your depression or were able to walk around, especially amongst co-workers or associates, before you did not feel uneasy anymore, wondering if there were unwelcome aspects of HT still drawing attention to you?

[mr invisible]

thinkingaboutit,

 

Hopefully after a hair tranpsplant one wouldnt have to feel self-conscious anymore, if someone wasnt depressed or self-conscious about there hairloss they probably wouldnt be spending thousands of dollars to have surgery. Me personally im suffering from depression and i am very self-conscious becuase of my receding hairline, thats why i want to get a good surgery by a good doc so that after the surgery i can go back to my life.

[Pat - Community Publisher]

Personally, I found the experience of surgery and seeing the many new grafts to be positive and hopeful.

 

Before surgery the prognosis was obivious, I was only going to get more bald. By doing surgery I knew I was taking constructive action to reverse my hair loss.

 

Hair loss for me was like living with cloudy weather. I still worked, went out etc. But it always put a damper on things. Getting my hair back did elevate me out of this low level depression.

 

Of course I moved on to fixate and complain about other things. But taking constructive action was without a doubt positive in my life.

 

I'll be curious to read how many others feel about their life before versus after hair transplants.

[Bonzo]

Thinkingaboutit,

 

Depression is an active part in everyones life from time to time, but if you simply can't go through a day or an hour without letting yourself down by thinking about your hairline( me for example) get a procedure done. Then all you have to do is wait the 3 to 12 months and your depression should be over regarding this very sensitive issue-Bonzo

[JacobS]

Valid point, certainly a lot of anxiety attached, but infused with optimism also. You have a brief moment of euphoria immediately after procedure before the grafts shed and the shock loss kicks in. Then it's a slow grind. You are pretty much guaranteed 4 bad hair months. I never wore a cap before until day 2 after procedure and I'm still wearing one. Those who know me are not used to my wearing a cap so it draws it's own attention but sometimes it's easier to deal with that.

 

I've been very careful not to talk about the transplant not because of the maliciousness or insensitivity that can result but because I don't want folks constantly examining my hair. One of the people I did share with was really disappointed that I did not have a full head of hair after 2 months and then kind of implied that it had failed. I was amused but at the same time you think maybe it's not going so well. And then one day you catch a glimpse of hairs sprouting....

[Follicular Slippage]

Good question. I had 1,650 grafts last November; I was a NW 5-6. Like JacobS, I got pretty pumped-up immediately after surgery because I could suddenly see hair. Since I knew it would be short lived I looked upon it as a preview of things to come.

 

Since I freelance and teach part-time at a local college, it wasn't a big deal for me to show-up to class with a fleece skullcap because a) it was winter, and b) it was an art class and many of the students wear similar headgear.

 

I think I was more anxious than depressed - though the hat trick worked for school it wasn't feasible if I went over to someone's house. So I ended up having to come up with all sorts of excuses as to why I couldn't see the relatives during Christmas, go to a friend's New Year's party, go to church, etc.

 

Having to avoid situations where I might need to remove my hat proved to be quite stressful for me, but it was especially difficult for my wife. She'd often be "on point", and it was both awkward and difficult for her to have to answer questions from family and friends about my absence. I know she was relieved when I finally began to "reappear" without a hat last February.

 

Since I've re-surfaced, I haven't noticed any odd-looking stares at my forehead or comments about my hair. One thing that I did to distract people from noticing my HT was to grow a beard. When I removed the hat permanently in late March, I converted my beard into a goatee. In spite of the fact that I've been clean-shaven for practically my entire life, I rarely got any acknowledgement or comments about my facial hair, let alone my HT.

 

Yes it's been a stressful and angst-ridden few months. However, the alternative of continuing to go bald was not acceptable to me. In the last few weeks, I've become more comfortable with my HT and actually get a kick out of being able to use styling gel again!

 

At some point, I'd like to get another HT to add some density and improve my hairline. But for now, I'd like to stop worrying about my hair and just take it for granted - that will be a nice change.

 

FS

[Neil Nelson]

Everybody's story is unique to them, but somebody out there could make a killing by writing a definitive book about the "HT Experience".

 

How many of us go through almost the same thoughts and feelings, and indeed physical manifestations as we ride the emotional roller coaster pre-and post op?

 

For my part, in the past six months through the planning, operation and recovery process, I've met with hope, anticipation, excitement, fear, relief, euphoria, horror, despair, impatience, concern.

 

Overriding all of these, I think, have been the feelings of uncertainty and anxiety. As a vet of long ago surgery, the recollection of previous experiences fade, and the new surgical techniques to which I submitted myself last December bring a whole new ball game.

 

Put simply, I just didn't and don't know what to expect. And that has led to a vivid intensity of life in the two months prior and four months post op.

 

This site has been a Godsend, both for prior research and sharing post-op experiences.

 

But wouldn't it be great if someone could write a "warts and all" account, encapsulating all that we go through?

[damo]

Neil its was the best thing i ever did.

1300 grafts 11 months ago ,going back for 2nd procedure in 4weeks woohhooooooooooooo

 

Damo

[Gorpy]

Speaking of uncertainty and anxiety, I'm starting to feel exactly that. After my initial consultation with Dr. Keene, I felt very positive, but now, actually making the appointment and scheduling the surgery makes me nervous.

[Bonzo]

Gorpy,

 

I know how you feel, I had 2 procedures done in the early 90's, and I still had butterfly's up until I was in the chair. Trust me on this one, book the date with Dr. Keene, go through with the procedure, and in months this part of your life will seam like a distant dream-Bonzo

[Neil Nelson]

Originally posted by damo:

Neil its was the best thing i ever did.

1300 grafts 11 months ago ,going back for 2nd procedure in 4weeks woohhooooooooooooo

 

Damo

Great to hear it's been so good for you, Damo.

 

As a matter of interest, how did you think you looked, and how did you feel about yourself, at the 4 month stage?

 

Were months 5-8 better for you, as many guys on the site seem to suggest it was for them?

 

I'm curious because 4 months feels tough for me right now.

 

Regards,

 

Neil

[EastCoast]

I personally had very bad luck with a HT. I had to wear a hat for over 2 years. I couldn't go out on the weekends or any where for that matter. My hair was pluggy and grafty. I had 3 corrective procedures with a 4 coming up in 60 days. I have my own business with just 2 employees so I would dress down; that way a hat would be appropriate.

[Mahair]

I did'nt do enough research so the "Dr". was able to lie me into a 2,500 graft proceedure for early hairloss as a one time proceedure that I would get great results with. And simply put butchered my head causing real hairloss and alot of scarring donor and recipiant. Alot of physical manifestations and pain. A real self esteem killer to say the least.

[thinkingaboutit]

Thanks for all the great comments. This is an excellent site.

 

Seems that there is a such vast spectrum of personal experiences that it is difficult to reach a concensus.

 

At almost 49 I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror. Honestly, physically I am in extremely good shape for someone even half my age but my face looks tired and my hair has thinned a lot over the past year.( I am a N2a-3)

 

I want to hit 50 looking as strong above the neck as I do below AND I will be seing an old girlfriend later this summer ( she is much younger than me )and I want to look as good as I can and be as confident as possible when I see her.

 

I am having some elective surgery in early june to address the tiredness in my face. It is mild to moderate surgery. Swelling or discoloration could last 2 weeks. For some longer, others less time.

 

How soon after such an experience might it be safe to undergo a 1200-1500 HT with enough recuperation capicity to expect ultimum results?

 

How might someone feel emotionally and look physically at the 4week post op point after HT surgery?

 

Would it be better to wait until after meeting someone that you want to make a strong impression on to have a HT ( given the short time-frame window,...ps/ it will be another year before I will have 4 weeks straight to be away from my work.)

[Gorpy]

Thinkingaboutit, we're in about the same situation. Physically my body is in great shape. Many 35 year olds would love to have my body, but at 49, my receding hair makes me look old.

[baldcasanova]

so my part of the story is that i had one procedure 2 years ago and obviously i felt horrible about my hair or else i would not have gotten a surgery. i look back at pictures after the surgery and cringe to an extent because i had to deal with a doner scar that stretched... but i knew that after a while i would have hair so that it made me feel better.

 

so ive always been happy i did the procedure. despite my regimine of dht-stopping agents my hairloss has continued, although considerably slower.

 

since i joined this site i have learned to be a pretty good hollywood makeup artist. using the various masking techniques have improved my appearance, but yet, always after the shower I get so depressed because i dont have the agents in my hair and the truth is revealed.

 

of course i am trying to deal with it but hairloss is so consuming; i think about it alot, which is why i will go get another ht to help to not think about it as much.

 

my first ht was very small and a lot of the posters on this board questioned the ethics of a doctor that would do such a procedure. i couldnt completely understand what the big deal was but i guess one point was the donor scar that was left behind, and also it leaves a patient very hungry for more work.

 

what really gets me is that although people do not acknowledge my hairloss that much anymore, people seem to react differently to me if I have a hat on. to me thats depressing also. its like if i keep a hat on i can feel the way i'm suppose to feel. when i take it off, dont get me wrong i try to exude an aura of confidence, i just dont feel like it works as well as when im covering up my hairloss.

 

that probably in my head. most likely. there are a lot of balding or bald men that couldnt care less. they seem to be living ok lives with friends and family and content with their situation.

 

i guess because of all of the negativity ive experienced from people has made me so self conscience. and i cannot just change my chemical makeup to tune out those detractors. ive got "feelings" (yep).

 

so an HT, to me is a great solution. especially now. now i am at a stage in my hairloss that is very interesting. i am now forming the shiny head, [and for the life of me cant understand why a balding head gets shiny.] so these days no matter how much masking stuff i put up there i still have these areas that reflect light considerably.

 

i doubt after my next surgery i will be too depressed. i am only worried about post op redness. i can deal with everything else but the redness. after that goes away I ve got to deal with the grafts coming out and shockloss but pretty much i really believe in 12 months ill be so much happier.

 

but i still wonder why i'm the one who has to go through this rigamarole.

 

cas

[Neil Nelson]

Originally posted by thinkingaboutit:

How might someone feel emotionally and look physically at the 4week post op point after HT surgery?

 

Would it be better to wait until after meeting someone that you want to make a strong impression on to have a HT ( given the short time-frame window,...ps/ it will be another year before I will have 4 weeks straight to be away from my work.)

thinkingaboutit,

 

Everybody responds emotionally to HT surgery in their own way. For me it's been a tough time since mid-December, and that's after working with a world class, highly supportive surgeon.

 

Physically you'll be perfectly fine at 4 weeks if you choose the right surgeon. (No visible signs of surgery and probably no signs of new hair growth.) But only you know your own emotional constitution. Me, I walked away from a situation just a week ago, where I wanted to impress a group of people, and that after four months. Mentally, I just wasn't ready.

 

If you go for it now, with a good surgeon you'll be in great shape when you hit 50 next year.

 

But there is a risk in terms of how you'll feel about yourself in the short term - a risk that will be increased by your other surgery.

 

Do some serious self-analysis before making a decision.

 

Good luck!

 

Regards,

 

Neil

[Neil Nelson]

Originally posted by baldcasanova:

...i look back at pictures after the surgery and cringe to an extent because i had to deal with a doner scar that stretched...i couldnt completely understand what the big deal was but i guess one point was the donor scar that was left behind...

 

 

Cas,

 

I really empathise with your situation.

 

At the risk of coming across as an overwrought Jeffrey Epstein groupie, take a look at my thread on scar shock loss in this section, and have a look at the pre and post-op scarring photos I posted.

 

If you're looking for reparative surgery, talk to the man. I can still barely believe what he's done with my previous scarring.

 

Regards,

 

Neil

[EastCoast]

You don't have to be a brain surgeon to fix or suture a scar. A stretched scar is caused by taking too much scalp out or taking the strip too high or too low. Part of getting a good ht is having the proper characteristics such as enough laxity.