botched

I am realising now after sleeping properly how deluded I have been, both in the importance of my hair before and in my degree of hair loss and whether or not I was even a candidate, let alone a candidate for this ultra agressive hairline. I definitely have body dysmorphia and did not realise it. This is really bad.

It was hlc. I am actually a very stable person normally, the only thing i was in denial about was my nw scale. I had a semi preserved frontal tuft which led me to believe i was less advanced. I suggested this frontal tuft to be the origin of the hairline which the doctor ran with without question. Beyond unethical. I had the means and opportunity to take time off to recover and travel, which will not happen now.

I was not in a right state of mind to object to the plan or abort it which is what I should have done. Now my life feels like it is over.

Greetings. This is my first post on here. I am 35 years old and have been planning my hairline restoration for half a year and this week was finally the date. I have taken half a year off work. I thought I had done my due diligence and choose a clinic with doctor involvement. I did have some apprehension before flying out but my mood while on location was more like resignation. I did get some weird vibes from the staff but I chalked it up to cultural differences (turkey). The consultation was rushed and the doctor pretty much agreed with my preferred plan without pushback. He did say I had signs of nw5 but since I was stable on finasteride it was deemed a non issue. He drew a hairline where I pointed and when I pushed back on it being too low he said it was conservative. When I assessed my head after the second day of surgery I started to panic. My scalp was way more minituarised than I had realised and the hairline was grafted with max density. I seem to be nw6. The hairline is also way too low and moves when I wrinkle my forehead. The last few days have been filled with existential dread over what I have done. The track of my life has been altered permanently and I have gone from an attractive eligible bachelor who could have rocked a bald head to a freak. At this point I do not know if I can work again or get in a relationship again. As soon as I saw my head the bubble popped. I definitely have undiagnosed body dysmorphia and have been online for too long researching this topic on transplant-positive channels. Now my imagined appearance issues have become very very real. I had stupidly kept this transplant a secret from everyone. Tonight when I get home I will consult a friend. My goal now is to get my scalp to as natural state of balding as possible. I do not want more transplants. I guess smp on donor and some electrolysis or the like on the recipient is in my future. These will be very trying times ahead. Is there anything I can do right now? I know the pervasive answer will be to wait and see but I actually would prefer poor survival without scarring to make future removal easier. Stupidly in a panicked state I straight up removed some grafts from the temples.