thanks for your advice guys.
You are right Davies 91 and takingtheplunge. It's not the hair loss killing me. it is my reaction, that is true. the story is. i was mentally abused at school, then at work about my appearance. There is things not right about how i look. I've battled for years to accept how I look, but have failed. Even spent 3 months in a hospital which specialized in my condition. My hair is very important to me, it covers what i see as defects in my appearance. Without my hair I will be nothing, i feel so ugly with it, without it I will be worse than i am now, i won't cope, it's bad enough now. I won't be able to hide these defects anymore. A few years ago i tried to eliminate the issue by shaving my hair to a number 3. it made me so ill. I couldn't leave the house for months. Yes i do suffer terribly with my mental illness. This is just getting too much now. I've tried the anti-depressants, I've done the cognitive behavioral therapy, I've done the hospital. All this has failed. Where do I go from here? I see the only answer being "getting all my hair back" I'm stuck guys. I appreciate all your advice so far, I wish i could accept your answers, but I can't. I've been mentally abused about my appearance all my life. If I lose my hair, more abuse will follow. I go to the gym, I can see the guys laughing at me trying to cover up my shame, the mirrors torture me, i nearly started crying in teh gym the other day. Has anyone had a fargo transplant here? If i was to have a 1000 hairs put in? What would the cost be? and would it cover much? I'm sorry to go on here, I wish your replies were the answer i wanted. Sorry.