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Are you dating someone? Do you use dating sites?

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Hey, I have a question. Are you shy due to the fact that you lose hair?
Personally, I'm not
I simply shave my head bald and it solved my problems, so I even was able to try to register at the dating site to find a girlfriend :)
Dude, I've never felt so much self confident, so, what's your experience about dating someone? Do you use dating sites for it?

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I never used dating apps before thought only weirdos used em. However, that’s changed. In fact, almost every new relationship begins with someone online. Whether it’s through an app or instagram. I met my gf on hinge.


I do not provide medical advice, recommendations, all responses are my opinion.

My Hair Transplant Journey

Melvin- Associate Publisher and Forum Moderator for the Hair Transplant Network, the Coalition Hair Loss Learning Center, and the Hair Loss Q&A Blog.

Follow our Social Media Instagram @thehairtransplantnetwork FacebookPintrest, Linkedin and YouTube.

 

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Some may start complaining this subject has little to do with hair. WRONG.....appearances are not everything....but close.  That's the first thing others see when doing their search.  The problem is...most lie.  Now, if you are good looking, nice set of hair....bet you get a date.  

Confidence.....that's the 2nd part to this.  If you are weak in any area, (not good looking, no hair, etc), but show confidence, you might have a chance.

I recall visiting with a cowboy some years ago.  Good looking guy with the cowboy hat.  Took the hat off and you could see all confidence fly away.  Turned red and his demeanor changed drastically.  Once he had the transplant, what a difference. (That does bring up the subject of the cap, (I call it a handicap). Perhaps we can discuss this in the future as many depend on it).

More and more I notice the younger adults rely on these sites for dates.  Boy, have things changed.  Now a days these "people" are well versed on computer games and little else.  Heard a conversation recently...Guy to girl..."these are my demands...." Could not even hold a conversation.  Sad what's going on in so many fronts in this Country of ours.

 

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I actually work for an online dating company. Perfectly legitimate way to meet people, and I'd argue it's been born out of necessity as much as anything. I met the woman I'm seeing right now on an online app and she is actually a perfect example of this, as she was working full-time, taking graduate courses, and living an hour away when we met.

College education has become a gatekeeping tool to most jobs paying an livable wage, and once you land the job it's common for companies to expect regular 50 or 60 hour work weeks from their employees for an annual income that pales in comparison to cost of living. Many folks are working multiple jobs just to keep up. Dating apps provide a convenient way to create a "warm lead" without the time investment of going out to a bar, club, etc in an attempt to meet people.

For me, my hair has not been a barrier, but many would argue mine doesn't look too bad. I can say with confidence that it absolutely factors in to how women are "rating" you, but it isn't necessarily a deal breaker in most cases. However, I do think that celebrity worship reaching an all time high has created higher expectations in that regard, with fewer and fewer Hollywood men sporting a bald head.

Edited by Mycroft

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3 hours ago, Mycroft said:

I actually work for an online dating company. Perfectly legitimate way to meet people, and I'd argue it's been born out of necessity as much as anything. I met the woman I'm seeing right now on an online app and she is actually a perfect example of this, as she was working full-time, taking graduate courses, and living an hour away when we met.

College education has become a gatekeeping tool to most jobs paying an livable wage, and once you land the job it's common for companies to expect regular 50 or 60 hour work weeks from their employees for an annual income that pales in comparison to cost of living. Many folks are working multiple jobs just to keep up. Dating apps provide a convenient way to create a "warm lead" without the time investment of going out to a bar, club, etc in an attempt to meet people.

For me, my hair has not been a barrier, but many would argue mine doesn't look too bad. I can say with confidence that it absolutely factors in to how women are "rating" you, but it isn't necessarily a deal breaker in most cases. However, I do think that celebrity worship reaching an all time high has created higher expectations in that regard, with fewer and fewer Hollywood men sporting a bald head.

Nice, does it rhyme with tumble, fringe, or binder? Haha


I do not provide medical advice, recommendations, all responses are my opinion.

My Hair Transplant Journey

Melvin- Associate Publisher and Forum Moderator for the Hair Transplant Network, the Coalition Hair Loss Learning Center, and the Hair Loss Q&A Blog.

Follow our Social Media Instagram @thehairtransplantnetwork FacebookPintrest, Linkedin and YouTube.

 

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You guys are the lucky ones. I had the opposite experience with dating apps actually.

I tried it a few years ago and none of the girls ever looked like their photos (which didn't bother me initially but then it sort of came across as lying) and everyone seemed to have an agenda. I also think it's easier to be superficial towards someone when you reduce them to their profile (who is to say what you think you want based on some criteria, and what you actually need are the same things?).

I got so fed up with it I just started conversations in real life with women which I found to be more organic. I guess being open to both approaches would be the best solution, so I might look into this stuff again 🤔

 

 

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18 minutes ago, transplantedphil said:

You guys are the lucky ones. I had the opposite experience with dating apps actually.

I tried it a few years ago and none of the girls ever looked like their photos (which didn't bother me initially but then it sort of came across as lying) and everyone seemed to have an agenda. I also think it's easier to be superficial towards someone when you reduce them to their profile (who is to say what you think you want based on some criteria, and what you actually need are the same things?).

I got so fed up with it I just started conversations in real life with women which I found to be more organic. I guess being open to both approaches would be the best solution, so I might look into this stuff again 🤔

 

 

I think it depends on the apps. The swiping apps are a lot more superficial and more "hook-up" based and casual. Met my current gf on Hinge, and I found it to be a lot more comprehensive in terms of personality and interests. But it depends on what you're looking for, I was definitely over the casual flings.


I do not provide medical advice, recommendations, all responses are my opinion.

My Hair Transplant Journey

Melvin- Associate Publisher and Forum Moderator for the Hair Transplant Network, the Coalition Hair Loss Learning Center, and the Hair Loss Q&A Blog.

Follow our Social Media Instagram @thehairtransplantnetwork FacebookPintrest, Linkedin and YouTube.

 

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1 hour ago, Melvin-Moderator said:

Nice, does it rhyme with tumble, fringe, or binder? Haha

Well, they do own the last two...

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30 minutes ago, Melvin-Moderator said:

I think it depends on the apps. The swiping apps are a lot more superficial and more "hook-up" based and casual. Met my current gf on Hinge, and I found it to be a lot more comprehensive in terms of personality and interests. But it depends on what you're looking for, I was definitely over the casual flings.

It absolutely does vary from app to app. Age demo, geographic location, and gender all impact this as well. As you can imagine, women are more likely to receive requests for a casual fling than men are. 

I don't think we are less superficial on most of the dating apps (other than swiping apps), but I do think it is easier to swipe and ignore unwanted advances which leads to a lot of guys being frustrated over lack of response. I tell everyone that you need to be willing to put up with a lot of non responses and be completely unphased, because that's just the nature of the game. You'll get rejected plenty in real life as well, just with less definitive closure. Take the hint.

The other thing you need to realize is numbers are against you. There are more men on these apps than there are women, so realize the ratios are not in your favor. If you're using a swiping app you're very unlikely to get much traction unless you're exceptionally handsome. For the other apps, I find many people have shockingly uninspired conversation openers. Most people just say "Hi" or make a comment about someone's eyes etc. Imagine getting bombarded with those day after day and tell me you're going to read all of them. I am actually happy to provide any insight or feedback my experience from the professional and personal side has afforded me. I've used a good chunk of the dating services and thanks to work I've seen more profiles than anyone outside of the industry probably has.

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2 hours ago, Mycroft said:

It absolutely does vary from app to app. Age demo, geographic location, and gender all impact this as well. As you can imagine, women are more likely to receive requests for a casual fling than men are. 

I don't think we are less superficial on most of the dating apps (other than swiping apps), but I do think it is easier to swipe and ignore unwanted advances which leads to a lot of guys being frustrated over lack of response. I tell everyone that you need to be willing to put up with a lot of non responses and be completely unphased, because that's just the nature of the game. You'll get rejected plenty in real life as well, just with less definitive closure. Take the hint.

The other thing you need to realize is numbers are against you. There are more men on these apps than there are women, so realize the ratios are not in your favor. If you're using a swiping app you're very unlikely to get much traction unless you're exceptionally handsome. For the other apps, I find many people have shockingly uninspired conversation openers. Most people just say "Hi" or make a comment about someone's eyes etc. Imagine getting bombarded with those day after day and tell me you're going to read all of them. I am actually happy to provide any insight or feedback my experience from the professional and personal side has afforded me. I've used a good chunk of the dating services and thanks to work I've seen more profiles than anyone outside of the industry probably has.

haha it's great to get some insider perspective. I'm actually trying to help my friend out in this department. His openers are terrible. It's definitely a numbers game, and as a guy you need to just accept rejection as a part of it. 


I do not provide medical advice, recommendations, all responses are my opinion.

My Hair Transplant Journey

Melvin- Associate Publisher and Forum Moderator for the Hair Transplant Network, the Coalition Hair Loss Learning Center, and the Hair Loss Q&A Blog.

Follow our Social Media Instagram @thehairtransplantnetwork FacebookPintrest, Linkedin and YouTube.

 

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1 hour ago, Melvin-Moderator said:

haha it's great to get some insider perspective. I'm actually trying to help my friend out in this department. His openers are terrible. It's definitely a numbers game, and as a guy you need to just accept rejection as a part of it. 

This is 100% right. Success is largely down to amount of effort put in and your level of persistence, with maybe a dash of realistic standards. Too many people, and especially men, treat the apps like a buffet of women and nothing could be further from the truth. 

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I may be an old timer......and don't want to get on anyone's toes....but....Why do these sites exist?

Growing up I recall being outdoors. Playing baseball, marbles, riding horses, etc.....Technology? I remember my son being 8-9 and being on the computer playing Yugioh.  Outdoors? Forget it....Did he not develop people skills?  Honestly? I don't think so.  Perhaps the youth is the way it is because of what's surrounding them?

Initiating a conversation is not easy for most....am I generalizing?

And then add to this all the "lack of attributes." Hair....etc.

You know what I think is coming? People will be in their 30's and 40's still alone....then figure out it's getting late and then hooking up.  Population dwindling down....etc...

Am I looking at this the wrong way?

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Well you do have a point that society is becoming a lot more closed off, people text instead of call. It’s very impersonal. I’m this way I must confess. I only speak with my parents on the phone lol. 

Social media has only made this worse. Kids nowadays will go to a party and rather than enjoy it, they’ll preoccupy themselves with broadcasting it, to show the rest of the world what they’re doing. 

That said, @Mycroft made an excellent point. People now a days are busier and the pace of life is faster. I know my gf is going to grad school and working a full time job. I work a full time job and devote most of my free time to this community. It would be very difficult to try and meet people the old fashioned way for both of us.

Let’s say you see a pretty girl at a Vons. If you stop her for a conversation chances are she’s headed somewhere, or has something to do. Not to mention  that seems creepy in today’s society. Especially when you have apps for that lol. 

Apps and the internet give people with the same purpose and goals a place to meet. It streamlines the process, no guess work or needing to ask if they’re single. You can even filter people out based on personal beliefs and religion. Online dating definitely has it’s problems. But just like everything on the internet, it’s made everything so much easier and accessible.

I don’t see things reverting back, in another 20-30 years meeting people at a library or supermarket will be obsolete. It’ll be dating apps or social media where people meet. Either way it’ll be online.


I do not provide medical advice, recommendations, all responses are my opinion.

My Hair Transplant Journey

Melvin- Associate Publisher and Forum Moderator for the Hair Transplant Network, the Coalition Hair Loss Learning Center, and the Hair Loss Q&A Blog.

Follow our Social Media Instagram @thehairtransplantnetwork FacebookPintrest, Linkedin and YouTube.

 

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1 hour ago, LaserCap said:

I may be an old timer......and don't want to get on anyone's toes....but....Why do these sites exist?

Growing up I recall being outdoors. Playing baseball, marbles, riding horses, etc.....Technology? I remember my son being 8-9 and being on the computer playing Yugioh.  Outdoors? Forget it....Did he not develop people skills?  Honestly? I don't think so.  Perhaps the youth is the way it is because of what's surrounding them?

Initiating a conversation is not easy for most....am I generalizing?

And then add to this all the "lack of attributes." Hair....etc.

You know what I think is coming? People will be in their 30's and 40's still alone....then figure out it's getting late and then hooking up.  Population dwindling down....etc...

Am I looking at this the wrong way?

I agree.

Admittedly initiating a conversation is NOT easy and I only started doing it because i got so fed up with the apps. I also found the use of technology seemed to be a way of distancing yourself from another person and eventually found just talking socially with people, with no real goal in mind, much more organic. It made the times those conversations turned into something more much more "real".

The other thing is I found most of the girls on those apps to be quite, um, dull. They didn't know how to hold a conversation and seemed to hold certain expectations of you based upon appearance/career etc. I utterly hated that. Whereas in real life I've had conversations with girls for ages where we would forgot to tell our names or our jobs, and we just got caught up on a topic and that was awesome. Girls I had relationships with this way also told me how rare it was to be approached in real life and how much they preferred it ... guess when you do that it has a way of removing any expectations and you just see what happens

But ultimately to each their own. I would assume it might be the easiest (and perhaps only) way for some people to meet given how busy ppl are nowadays

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3 hours ago, Melvin-Moderator said:

Apps and the internet give people with the same purpose and goals a place to meet. It streamlines the process, no guess work or needing to ask if they’re single. You can even filter people out based on personal beliefs and religion. Online dating definitely has it’s problems. But just like everything on the internet, it’s made everything so much easier and accessible.

I actually think this is a bad thing. It's when you only socialise and engage with people who hold the same ideas or values as you that your entire life has the potential to become an echo chamber. It's when you streamline or make dating simply goal orientated you remove part of the "romance". Or at least that's how i take it. 

There's a political science book called "Bowling alone" by Robert Putnam. The basic thesis is that the less we engage with people and ideas outside of our own the greater the threat this is to our democracy. By that measure I also think this is true of life in general. The less we are challenged and things are made "easier and accessible" the less we have a chance to grow as people. All the greatest loves in my love came from women who called me on my shit, and whose cultures or ideas were different to my own. And i think i became stronger from it. 

But again that's just me. 

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8 hours ago, LaserCap said:

Growing up I recall being outdoors. Playing baseball, marbles, riding horses, etc.....Technology? I remember my son being 8-9 and being on the computer playing Yugioh.  Outdoors? Forget it....Did he not develop people skills?  Honestly? I don't think so.  Perhaps the youth is the way it is because of what's surrounding them?

Initiating a conversation is not easy for most....am I generalizing?

And then add to this all the "lack of attributes." Hair....etc.

You know what I think is coming? People will be in their 30's and 40's still alone....then figure out it's getting late and then hooking up.  Population dwindling down....etc...

Am I looking at this the wrong way?

 

7 hours ago, transplantedphil said:

I agree.

Admittedly initiating a conversation is NOT easy and I only started doing it because i got so fed up with the apps. I also found the use of technology seemed to be a way of distancing yourself from another person and eventually found just talking socially with people, with no real goal in mind, much more organic. It made the times those conversations turned into something more much more "real".

The other thing is I found most of the girls on those apps to be quite, um, dull. They didn't know how to hold a conversation and seemed to hold certain expectations of you based upon appearance/career etc. I utterly hated that. Whereas in real life I've had conversations with girls for ages where we would forgot to tell our names or our jobs, and we just got caught up on a topic and that was awesome. Girls I had relationships with this way also told me how rare it was to be approached in real life and how much they preferred it ... guess when you do that it has a way of removing any expectations and you just see what happens

But ultimately to each their own. I would assume it might be the easiest (and perhaps only) way for some people to meet given how busy ppl are nowadays

@LaserCap the younger generations are less likely to get married and/or have kids by choice regardless of other factors. Many millennials can barely support themselves, much less a child or a spouse, and in many cases these ARE people in their thirties. 

As for the idea that technology is somehow the cause of a lack of people skills, I think there is some merit to that, but the responsibility then falls to parents etc to create boundaries for their kids that are going to help them develop those social skills. You'd be just as socially crippled if you never left the house because you were constantly reading books, but somehow we've never managed to blame that for our troubles.

@transplantedphil I think women are open to being approached in a social setting where it's implied that they're explicitly out and about to mingle with people. On the flip side, approaching a woman at the grocery store, gym, etc unsolicited is generally considered to be out of line.  On a related note, I'd hazard a guess that you're still approaching these women on the initial foundation of physical attractiveness, so the superficiality isn't exactly taken out of the equation. That ties back to the original post here of why hair does or does not matter.

I do agree that the conversational skills of many folks (men and women) are lacking, but to be honest I think a lot of that boils down to lack of effort and creativity moreso than an actual inability to communicate. That's not to say that the person won't turn out to be boring after all that, but boring people are absolutely nothing new. The thing you have to remember is that while men are fighting to stand out and get responses, just about every woman is being bombarded with attention (desirable or not). Unless they find you to be exceptionally attractive (physically or otherwise) they're not going to be very engaged. That's just an unfortunate reality of "supply and demand" in the online space.

I think the biggest issue is that so many of us seem to view it as a waste of time when we connect with someone (in person or online) who was a potential romantic match and it just doesn't take off the way we were hoping. Many people inexplicably consider any non romantic relationships with the opposite sex to be taboo, so if the first few dates don't lead into a relationship what was the point? That's the mindset, and I hear it from people every day. Seems a bit extremist if you ask me.

 

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1 hour ago, Mycroft said:

 

@LaserCap the younger generations are less likely to get married and/or have kids by choice regardless of other factors. Many millennials can barely support themselves, much less a child or a spouse, and in many cases these ARE people in their thirties. 

As for the idea that technology is somehow the cause of a lack of people skills, I think there is some merit to that, but the responsibility then falls to parents etc to create boundaries for their kids that are going to help them develop those social skills. You'd be just as socially crippled if you never left the house because you were constantly reading books, but somehow we've never managed to blame that for our troubles.

@transplantedphil I think women are open to being approached in a social setting where it's implied that they're explicitly out and about to mingle with people. On the flip side, approaching a woman at the grocery store, gym, etc unsolicited is generally considered to be out of line.  On a related note, I'd hazard a guess that you're still approaching these women on the initial foundation of physical attractiveness, so the superficiality isn't exactly taken out of the equation. That ties back to the original post here of why hair does or does not matter.

I do agree that the conversational skills of many folks (men and women) are lacking, but to be honest I think a lot of that boils down to lack of effort and creativity moreso than an actual inability to communicate. That's not to say that the person won't turn out to be boring after all that, but boring people are absolutely nothing new. The thing you have to remember is that while men are fighting to stand out and get responses, just about every woman is being bombarded with attention (desirable or not). Unless they find you to be exceptionally attractive (physically or otherwise) they're not going to be very engaged. That's just an unfortunate reality of "supply and demand" in the online space.

I think the biggest issue is that so many of us seem to view it as a waste of time when we connect with someone (in person or online) who was a potential romantic match and it just doesn't take off the way we were hoping. Many people inexplicably consider any non romantic relationships with the opposite sex to be taboo, so if the first few dates don't lead into a relationship what was the point? That's the mindset, and I hear it from people every day. Seems a bit extremist if you ask me.

 

"Considered out of line." For some reason this just became an irritant.  We all have to be politically correct otherwise everyone starts crying wolf. There is truly no freedom of expression.  

You bring up exceptional points...but I'm not sure if I'd put a lot of weight on the parents involvement.  Yes, upbringing, their responsibility as a parent...I get all that.  But it is up to each of us to get educated, learn manners and how to treat others.

We should open a school....Etiquette the main subject. 

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@Mycroft Neah im a social slut. ill talk to anyone (male, female, young, old etc), my only criteria is don't be boring or offensive. My dating life has just come out of this naturally.

" On the flip side, approaching a woman at the grocery store, gym, etc unsolicited is generally considered to be out of line. " Actually those are typically the best places to meet women. Example; me crying in front of the gym mirrors holding my belly fat screaming "Why god why!!!!!" seems to draw some attention and gets women to ask what am i doing. Similarly crying in front of the junk food aisle at a supermarket after I've gone to the gym screaming "yes god yes!!!!" seems to draw some attention and gets women to ask what am i doing. Natural conversation starters. 

I was going to argue that it might be about geography, but even after my last HT in America looking like Frankenstein I had people start conversations with me. America, Europe, Australia whatever. So I do not think it is based on looks, but rather how you approach the world; without expectations and happy to engage with people.

80% of my friends are female though, so it's interesting you say that's taboo. I agree it's extremist and it's that mentality probably reveals why people are alone; if you don't get what you want from someone then apparently they are not worth your time. Sad.  

Looking forward to the future opening of Laser's etiquette school

 

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The world according to Al.....An interesting idea.

I'll share something with you.  I'll be in an elevator and will start a conversation with whomever is there.  It comes naturally....It drives my wife nuts.  She once said I am taking time away from her by doing this. "Yes dear."  Possibly the most important phrase ever. I use it multiple times during the day.

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Interesting conversation guys, I think it does come down to mindsets. Perhaps even comes down to introverts vs extraverts. 


I do not provide medical advice, recommendations, all responses are my opinion.

My Hair Transplant Journey

Melvin- Associate Publisher and Forum Moderator for the Hair Transplant Network, the Coalition Hair Loss Learning Center, and the Hair Loss Q&A Blog.

Follow our Social Media Instagram @thehairtransplantnetwork FacebookPintrest, Linkedin and YouTube.

 

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3 hours ago, transplantedphil said:

@Mycroft Neah im a social slut. ill talk to anyone (male, female, young, old etc), my only criteria is don't be boring or offensive. My dating life has just come out of this naturally.

" On the flip side, approaching a woman at the grocery store, gym, etc unsolicited is generally considered to be out of line. " Actually those are typically the best places to meet women. Example; me crying in front of the gym mirrors holding my belly fat screaming "Why god why!!!!!" seems to draw some attention and gets women to ask what am i doing. Similarly crying in front of the junk food aisle at a supermarket after I've gone to the gym screaming "yes god yes!!!!" seems to draw some attention and gets women to ask what am i doing. Natural conversation starters. 

I was going to argue that it might be about geography, but even after my last HT in America looking like Frankenstein I had people start conversations with me. America, Europe, Australia whatever. So I do not think it is based on looks, but rather how you approach the world; without expectations and happy to engage with people.

80% of my friends are female though, so it's interesting you say that's taboo. I agree it's extremist and it's that mentality probably reveals why people are alone; if you don't get what you want from someone then apparently they are not worth your time. Sad.  

Looking forward to the future opening of Laser's etiquette school

 

 

3 hours ago, Melvin-Moderator said:

Interesting conversation guys, I think it does come down to mindsets. Perhaps even comes down to introverts vs extraverts. 

I think this is a good observation. @LaserCap talking about striking up a conversation with a stranger in an elevator is a great example, because I dearly wish that strangers would stop trying to make idle chit chat with me in the elevator, bathrooms, etc. I find it draining, uncomfortable, and generally unpleasant. Obviously he is of the opposite mindset and that's totally fine. 

@transplantedphil I met a very good friend off a dating site a couple of years ago. I'll be attending her wedding in December. We're very close even though the whole dating thing didn't pan out long term, and I think people who close themselves off to ideas like that are missing out big time.

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