Jump to content
Melvin-Moderator

How Did You Guys Deal With Hair Loss Psychologically?

Recommended Posts

Hey Guys,

I want to get some input from the community on how you dealt and felt about your hair loss. I remember the first time one of my friends teased me about having a receded hairline when I was 21 years old. I'll never forget going to the bathroom to examine my hairline and taking a picture of it on my crappy flip phone. I felt total despair, a terrible sudden sense of panic came over me. It was true!! I was going bald. Even though that same night I gathered around friends at a party, I felt alone and empty. I examined all of my friends hairlines and none of them had any hair loss. I felt robbed of my youth. I'm glad to report that my story had a happy ending, thanks to this community. Let's hear some stories guys.

 

The Psychological and Emotional Impact of Hair Loss


I do not provide medical advice, recommendations, all responses are my opinion.

My Hair Transplant Journey

Melvin- Associate Publisher and Forum Moderator for the Hair Transplant Network, the Coalition Hair Loss Learning Center, and the Hair Loss Q&A Blog.

Follow our Social Media Instagram @thehairtransplantnetwork FacebookPintrest, Linkedin and YouTube.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I still can’t  believe I’m balding .. two years Ago at 37 years old .. I was still dating girls in their mid twenties .. my hair was dense and beautiful with blonde highlights , no one could tell I was in my 30’s .. I always get carded for beer n cigarrettes . .. I had a lot of confidence in my looks .. now not so much..... starting to feel my age , physically n mentally .. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

During my twenties and thirties I withdrew socially a great deal due to my hair loss. Looking back it saddens me that I was 'robbed' of so many good times during those years due to my low self esteem because of it.

Now in my late forties though after quite a few procedures I'm happy with where I'm at - I have hair. By no means thick, lustrous locks (that was never realistic given my level of loss)  but when I bump into follically-challenged old friends who make comments like "at least you managed to hold onto your hair!", I feel it was all worthwhile.

The saddest thing is when you're seventeen and not even an adult, and you notice the first signs of hair loss and think there's just no hope. That's just really unfair. I've been there, and I know there will be many many kids in that same situation now. Thankfully there's a lot more help and information out there these days.

I've got a lot more perspective now of where hair loss stands in importance in the great scheme of things, but back then it felt like my world was ending before it had even begun (a bit over-dramatic I know, but that's how I felt).


I am an online representative for Farjo Hair Institute

 

Dr. Bessam Farjo is an esteemed member of the Coalition of Independent Hair Restoration Physicians

 

I am not a medical professional and my words should not be taken as medical advice. All opinions shared are my own.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 I was very depressed when I started losing my hair. Are used to wear my hair long and girls used to love playing with it. Hair was part of my identity as was my strength.  I was also a strong Christian as I am still today… In a lot of ways I suppose that made me a lot like Samson.   But unlike Samson who lost his strength due to a woman cutting his hair, it was DHT that was my kryptonite. 

 I literally wore a hat everywhere, I felt like the Phantom of the opera. With a hat on, I felt like I could mask my “ugliness“ and felt like I was still attractive.   But once the hat came off, I felt like the phantom losing his mask. I felt ugly and I wanted to run into hiding. 

I would purposely avoid events that meant the need to remove my hat.  Or at the very least, I would avoid inviting certain women that I thought might judge me or that I found attractive.   I just didn’t want to feel ugly So if I couldn’t wear a hat, at least I could control who I let see me without a hat. 

Finally, I found this community and surgical hair restoration as a real option.   4 hair transplants later,  I am much more confident and I even started recently growing my hair again just for fun to see what I might look like. 

best wishes,

Bill

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Bill - Managing Publisher said:

 I was very depressed when I started losing my hair. Are used to wear my hair long and girls used to love playing with it. Hair was part of my identity as was my strength.  I was also a strong Christian as I am still today… In a lot of ways I suppose that made me a lot like Samson.   But unlike Samson who lost his strength due to a woman cutting his hair, it was DHT that was my kryptonite. 

 I literally wore a hat everywhere, I felt like the Phantom of the opera. With a hat on, I felt like I could mask my “ugliness“ and felt like I was still attractive.   But once the hat came off, I felt like the phantom losing his mask. I felt ugly and I wanted to run into hiding. 

I would purposely avoid events that meant the need to remove my hat.  Or at the very least, I would avoid inviting certain women that I thought might judge me or that I found attractive.   I just didn’t want to feel ugly So if I couldn’t wear a hat, at least I could control who I let see me without a hat. 

Finally, I found this community and surgical hair restoration as a real option.   4 hair transplants later,  I am much more confident and I even started recently growing my hair again just for fun to see what I might look like. 

best wishes,

Bill

You might want to edit that second paragraph Bill:D

  • Haha 1

I am an online representative for Farjo Hair Institute

 

Dr. Bessam Farjo is an esteemed member of the Coalition of Independent Hair Restoration Physicians

 

I am not a medical professional and my words should not be taken as medical advice. All opinions shared are my own.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, Pete-from-Farjo said:

During my twenties and thirties I withdrew socially a great deal due to my hair loss. Looking back it saddens me that I was 'robbed' of so many good times during those years due to my low self esteem because of it.

Now in my late forties though after quite a few procedures I'm happy with where I'm at - I have hair. By no means thick, lustrous locks (that was never realistic given my level of loss)  but when I bump into follically-challenged old friends who make comments like "at least you managed to hold onto your hair!", I feel it was all worthwhile.

The saddest thing is when you're seventeen and not even an adult, and you notice the first signs of hair loss and think there's just no hope. That's just really unfair. I've been there, and I know there will be many many kids in that same situation now. Thankfully there's a lot more help and information out there these days.

I've got a lot more perspective now of where hair loss stands in importance in the great scheme of things, but back then it felt like my world was ending before it had even begun (a bit over-dramatic I know, but that's how I felt).

I couldn’t agree more with many of your statements. I feel the same way regarding my 20s and now a good portion of my 30s. It definitely hit home when you described losing hair as a teen. I went through that too and that feeling of helplessness as a high school student losing hair cannot be described.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)

never had any friends since 18 as my hair went.

remember back in 2009 taking photos everyday.

Got transplants & was happy with hair. But can't take propecia due to sides(have pfs but improving well).

 

But now 28 I am very down again about my crown thinning & i cant prevent it going more. 

I am someone who loses confidence very easily as well even in things I am good at.

Edited by hairman22
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My grandfather was bald and I wanted to be just like him.  I was not interested at all and was unaware that there were options available.  The company I was working for was sold and I was out of a job.  I was in Jamaica at the time and, while on return flight, a manager for a hair restoration practice was sitting right beside me.  Great guy and we hit it off.  That was on a Saturday.  On Monday, while gathering my personal things I got a call from the HR department asking me if I would be interested in a consultant position.  I accepted and relocated.  Lasted 15 years.  I have worked for a number of companies since.  During my training, (bear with me), the consultant training me said, "if you've never been interested in hair restoration, you will never do research nor know anything about the industry."  I believe that.  So that brings up a point.  How many people out there, considering the millions and millions that inhabit the earth, don't know about hair restoration?  It is a very rewarding career.  Unfortunately there are many people just getting into the industry that really know little to nothing.  It is scary.  I feel it is our job to educate and protect the patient.  I am grateful for this site and the input...and the fact that you are allowing me to contribute if only sparingly.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 hours ago, Pete-from-Farjo said:

During my twenties and thirties I withdrew socially a great deal due to my hair loss. Looking back it saddens me that I was 'robbed' of so many good times during those years due to my low self esteem because of it.

Now in my late forties though after quite a few procedures I'm happy with where I'm at - I have hair. By no means thick, lustrous locks (that was never realistic given my level of loss)  but when I bump into follically-challenged old friends who make comments like "at least you managed to hold onto your hair!", I feel it was all worthwhile.

The saddest thing is when you're seventeen and not even an adult, and you notice the first signs of hair loss and think there's just no hope. That's just really unfair. I've been there, and I know there will be many many kids in that same situation now. Thankfully there's a lot more help and information out there these days.

I've got a lot more perspective now of where hair loss stands in importance in the great scheme of things, but back then it felt like my world was ending before it had even begun (a bit over-dramatic I know, but that's how I felt).

I think also society view balding men differently with age. I can recall being 25 years old getting my haircut and the barber asking how old I was,  I replied "25" he said "wow and you're already losing your hair".  I didn't know what to say, but I replied back with "my grandma got alzheimers, maybe we should talk about that too". He didn't utter another word to me the whole time.

I can't help but think, if I would have been 50 years old he probably wouldn't have asked or even if he did I could've said "half a century" and joked about my hair not being how it was in my 20's. While I understand balding affects men at any age, men who don't lose their hair until their 50's and 60's have no idea how devastating it is to lose your hair when you're young. I always say old guys get hair transplants to look younger, while young men get hair transplants to look their age.


I do not provide medical advice, recommendations, all responses are my opinion.

My Hair Transplant Journey

Melvin- Associate Publisher and Forum Moderator for the Hair Transplant Network, the Coalition Hair Loss Learning Center, and the Hair Loss Q&A Blog.

Follow our Social Media Instagram @thehairtransplantnetwork FacebookPintrest, Linkedin and YouTube.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, Melvin-Moderator said:

I think also society view balding men differently with age. I can recall being 25 years old getting my haircut and the barber asking how old I was,  I replied "25" he said "wow and you're already losing your hair".  I didn't know what to say, but I replied back with "my grandma got alzheimers, maybe we should talk about that too". He didn't utter another word to me the whole time.

I can't help but think, if I would have been 50 years old he probably wouldn't have asked or even if he did I could've said "half a century" and joked about my hair not being how it was in my 20's. While I understand balding affects men at any age, men who don't lose their hair until their 50's and 60's have no idea how devastating it is to lose your hair when you're young. I always say old guys get hair transplants to look younger, while young men get hair transplants to look their age.

This X1000000.

I remember noticeably losing my hair in my early 20's and haircuts were the absolute worst! You'd go in there hoping they'd work their magic and make it look as nice as possible but they generally had no idea what to do. I even had one lady, as soon as I sat down say: "I guess my only option is to shave it". Yes, I came here to spend $20 bucks to have you shave it when I could do that at home. Bitch.

That and the overall feeling that the prime of your life was over before it ever really began was devastating. Hadn't started my career yet and assumed it would hold me back (even though it didn't really), wasn't married and assumed I would need to severely drop my standards to find someone, constant ragging on by friends saying things like: "Going bald already? Really letting yourself go". 

Not to mention looking in the mirror everyday and seeing an old man staring back at you. Realizing that you've already peaked from a physical attractiveness standpoint and you still have 50 years left on earth.

Fuck baldness. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)

Having hairloss is definitely difficult especially at an early age... but it’s just something we have to deal with .. just like having to get a job n paying our bills , n taking Care of our fAmilies and our own  health .. it’s the journey of life .. it’s just another obstacle .. but as long as we don’t let  things overcome us, it be alright .. just got to take steps to overcome things .. as long as u have control of the situation or acceptance of it .. then it’s not as bad as it seems .. 

p.s. 2 years ago when my hairloss was noticeable . N I kept receding n thinning , n I didn’t know what to do to stop it .. it was my most depressing times about hairloss .. but once I educated myself by researching online n on this forum .. I felt like I had control , n know what options I have to make things better is when my hairloss n self esteem got better .. hope u guys do the same 

Edited by Legend007
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
13 hours ago, Melvin-Moderator said:

I think also society view balding men differently with age. I can recall being 25 years old getting my haircut and the barber asking how old I was,  I replied "25" he said "wow and you're already losing your hair".  I didn't know what to say, but I replied back with "my grandma got alzheimers, maybe we should talk about that too". He didn't utter another word to me the whole time.

I can't help but think, if I would have been 50 years old he probably wouldn't have asked or even if he did I could've said "half a century" and joked about my hair not being how it was in my 20's. While I understand balding affects men at any age, men who don't lose their hair until their 50's and 60's have no idea how devastating it is to lose your hair when you're young. I always say old guys get hair transplants to look younger, while young men get hair transplants to look their age.

I agree. I had a few similar comments to your barber's ones when in my twenties. For some reason society seems to deem hair loss as fair game, and that they have the right to mention it or mock someone who suffers from it. If a fat person goes into a clothes shop they wouldn't expect the assistant to say "wow, you're enormous, I'll show you to the XXXL aisle!" 

I also agree about people's reasons for getting transplants. It sounds a bit contrary, but all I ever wanted from my early transplants was for people to NOT notice my hair. I just didn't want to stand out in a negative way from my contemporaries at a young age.

 

  • Like 1

I am an online representative for Farjo Hair Institute

 

Dr. Bessam Farjo is an esteemed member of the Coalition of Independent Hair Restoration Physicians

 

I am not a medical professional and my words should not be taken as medical advice. All opinions shared are my own.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I started losing hair at 17! I remember being on the bus home from college, before even being aware myself I had any issues and someone commented on my receding temples! I became acutely aware of it at 18 and grew my hair forward in an attempt to cover it, as it thinned, it became more obvious that it was a bad comb forward! 

at probably 21 i could no longer hide it and would find myself not going to places where I couldn’t this wear a hat. I even wore a hat in the house to hide it from my parents! 

At 24, I decided to shave my head to see how it looked, but my hair was so thin at the front that it looked like I had no hair on top and no disearnable hairline.

from then up until my first procedure at 26/27 I withdrew socially and wouldn’t go anywhere at all without my hat even though I used concealers every day!

looking back I feel I wasted 10 years of my life being so paranoid about my hair. I also used to look at people and friends with hair and experience extreme jealously and ask “why me!?” Looking back now that seems silly, but it affected me that much.

at 27/28 after my first hasson procedure it’s no exaggeration to say my life and my confidence completely changed, my hair is now far better than at 18, and I regularly get compliments on my hair, people asking where I get it cut/how I style it etc, no one is aware I had a transplant... not just for the the quality of the work (although that’s a big factor), but also the lengths I would go to to hide my hair loss pre surgery. 

Now at 38 years of age I have people thinking I’m in my 20’s, and a few months ago I got carded buying alcohol!lol 

the friends I used to be so jealous of having hair are all now balding to some extent and are now envious of my hair!lol in all it’s no exaggeration to say that if I hadn’t had a HT/‘s then I wouldn’t be where I am in life or as happy as I am because I’d still be as paranoid about my appearance and attempting to hide it and myself away from everyone! Not to sound like an infomercial but Dr. Hasson and his team completely changed my life and I will be forever greatful

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel the same way, honestly I don’t think I’d be where I’m at now if I was still bald. At the time when I barely had any hair left. I just didn’t want to be a cueball. Now I’m amazed at where I am. Granted I still use concealer to look 100%, but having this hair allows it to look 100% natural. I’m also eternally grateful to Dr. Diep, guys chamged my life.

One poster mentioned surgeons only do it for the money, but come on, there’s no way Dr. Hasson doesn’t look at you and feel good about himself. You’re his masterpiece. It’s an accomplishment like a trophy. He’s spent the money you paid for your transplants long ago, but the satisfaction of his work will never go away.


I do not provide medical advice, recommendations, all responses are my opinion.

My Hair Transplant Journey

Melvin- Associate Publisher and Forum Moderator for the Hair Transplant Network, the Coalition Hair Loss Learning Center, and the Hair Loss Q&A Blog.

Follow our Social Media Instagram @thehairtransplantnetwork FacebookPintrest, Linkedin and YouTube.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, Melvin-Moderator said:

I feel the same way, honestly I don’t think I’d be where I’m at now if I was still bald. At the time when I barely had any hair left. I just didn’t want to be a cueball. Now I’m amazed at where I am. Granted I still use concealer to look 100%, but having this hair allows it to look 100% natural. I’m also eternally grateful to Dr. Diep, guys chamged my life.

One poster mentioned surgeons only do it for the money, but come on, there’s no way Dr. Hasson doesn’t look at you and feel good about himself. You’re his masterpiece. It’s an accomplishment like a trophy. He’s spent the money you paid for your transplants long ago, but the satisfaction of his work will never go away.

Agree with this.

The docs aren't greedy capitalist pigs trying to make a quick buck.

They want their patients to have good results.

They have a desirable skill set and should be compensated accordingly.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 1/2/2019 at 11:35 PM, Legend007 said:

I still can’t  believe I’m balding .. two years Ago at 37 years old .. I was still dating girls in their mid twenties .. my hair was dense and beautiful with blonde highlights , no one could tell I was in my 30’s .. I always get carded for beer n cigarrettes . .. I had a lot of confidence in my looks .. now not so much..... starting to feel my age , physically n mentally .. 

Legend,

What you think is terrible would be a dream come true to me. I would love to be able to date girls in their 20s for 20 years due to them thinking I'm 10 to 15 years younger than I am before finally starting to look my age.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

when I was young around 10 I used to be extremely fat and obsessed with food. I got bullied and body shamed everywhere I went, until after highschool  I decided to do something about it and that's where I started gym I did a lot of cardio sessions because I wanted to look good and fit and l managed to reduce around 35 kg in one year when I was 17, life became so good and my confidence went up high. And after like 2 years I started losing hair I noticed my hairline receding and thereafter it was a complete downfall and after like 5 years I have lost density and I look like a 40 year old man.from my point of view life was really unfair I worked so hard to get into good shape so that I look good and what's unfortunate for me  is that no one from my family is bald or going bald my dad has good hair and same with my brother 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, Yake said:

when I was young around 10 I used to be extremely fat and obsessed with food. I got bullied and body shamed everywhere I went, until after highschool  I decided to do something about it and that's where I started gym I did a lot of cardio sessions because I wanted to look good and fit and l managed to reduce around 35 kg in one year when I was 17, life became so good and my confidence went up high. And after like 2 years I started losing hair I noticed my hairline receding and thereafter it was a complete downfall and after like 5 years I have lost density and I look like a 40 year old man.from my point of view life was really unfair I worked so hard to get into good shape so that I look good and what's unfortunate for me  is that no one from my family is bald or going bald my dad has good hair and same with my brother 

LiIfe is unfair, my brother and dad both have good hair one is turning 62 and the other 42, meanwhile I lost almost all my hair by 29. I'm happy to report that I have the appearance of a full head of hair now, with the help of hair fibers, but it's possible to improve your appearance past your 30's. I'm more confident than I ever was in my 20's and I'll be 34 this year.


I do not provide medical advice, recommendations, all responses are my opinion.

My Hair Transplant Journey

Melvin- Associate Publisher and Forum Moderator for the Hair Transplant Network, the Coalition Hair Loss Learning Center, and the Hair Loss Q&A Blog.

Follow our Social Media Instagram @thehairtransplantnetwork FacebookPintrest, Linkedin and YouTube.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, Yake said:

when I was young around 10 I used to be extremely fat and obsessed with food. I got bullied and body shamed everywhere I went, until after highschool  I decided to do something about it and that's where I started gym I did a lot of cardio sessions because I wanted to look good and fit and l managed to reduce around 35 kg in one year when I was 17, life became so good and my confidence went up high. And after like 2 years I started losing hair I noticed my hairline receding and thereafter it was a complete downfall and after like 5 years I have lost density and I look like a 40 year old man.from my point of view life was really unfair I worked so hard to get into good shape so that I look good and what's unfortunate for me  is that no one from my family is bald or going bald my dad has good hair and same with my brother 

Did you get a transplant? Or are you looking to get one?

Unfortunately the whole: "shave head, get really buff, be a badass" doesn't really work for everyone. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, baldlivesmatter said:

Did you get a transplant? Or are you looking to get one?

Unfortunately the whole: "shave head, get really buff, be a badass" doesn't really work for everyone. 

I'm planning to have one soon. I would rather go for a hair system than shaving it off especially at such a young age 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×