Depression after 16 months

[Sam23]

Hi

 

I m always try to put some threads, as it might help me to overcome my depression and make me feel i m still not insane

 

And i m sorry as maybe i repeat the same issue million time

 

And maybe my problem is far less from others, but it is really bother me and writing down here help me and it is better than to explode alone, cause it is impossible to tell anyone of what i m thinking or feeling

 

i m writing here to take some breath and listen to some good opinions, as it is really become a heavy burden

 

Here people might understand what i m sufferring from better than anyone else as they faced the same issues, so they know exactly how to deal with those things and maybe there is a solution that can save me,

 

my thread is look like a psycho thread, but i will write it anyway, this is what i feel and think

 

 

Just as update, everyone said before that the hair transplant is like rollcoaster emotional thing, for me it is not

 

It is just destroy my emotions and my personality

 

Now i m post 16 months and the depression increase a lot,

 

At the beginning of the procedure, People here try to encourage me and told me it is temperory thing and once the results are mature you would be happy, so i put some hope on that

 

But after 16 months, i found that this the biggest mistake in my life and it destroyed me, i become a shy isolated guy, i hate everything in this life, i envy the people who did not have this surgery, i feel there is something had taken from me, i feel i m not complete anymore, each time i saw people who have normal scalp i feel ashamed about myself and wish to beat myself until i do not be able to move,

 

The purpose of this procedure was to just enahnce my body image, i was not even so depress of being bald as it was matter of nature

 

But this proecdure, destroy my self esteem, my body image and how i look and think about myself,

 

Most of those things because of the skin first in receipient area, the skin is totally ruined, full of tiny scars and there is an area that become below the skin level

 

I have now chronicle pain that restrict my life from everything, i cannot go out even with cap without feeling pain, literally i cannot do anything without feeling there are needles stab on my scalp every minutes, sometime i cannot sleep, this is now for 16 months.

 

I went to many dermatologists and they told me your scalp is like a war zone full of scars and inflammed even after 16 months, i m living on meds now and locked myself indoor every day to put creams with chroncile pain, i m so tired, i m totally isolated from everything since 16 month with this pain

 

I hate my life, i cannot see a light at the end of this dark tunnel

 

Due to this long stay in home i gain weight more than 20 k, i was hitting the gym twice a day and now i cannot move from the couch

 

I had a back pain also becuase of i m not moving at all

 

I almost lost my job as i cannot focus on anything anymore, because of this pain and the fake appearance

 

They totally destroy all of my life

 

Everyday, i remember myself how i was deceived by this clinc, they told me they have the best technique and it is consider not a surgery even a stem cell fue, i was so naive i trust them quickly even i read a littlle about the hair transplant and each time i asked them about the complications, they laugh and told me those complications happen with using old instrumentsa and old technique, our technique is the best technique in the whole world and it is very unique, that is why there is no complications like what you read,

 

So each time i read something, i keep tell myself, ah those complications and sad stories hasppen becuase of the old techniques, so for sure now this is cannot happen to me as those using new technique

 

i saw them like well trusted doctors and i believed them and then i end up with all of this things, i beat myself everyday, how i was fooled and let them put the knife on my scalp

They told me no scars everything would be done with small instruments 0.6 mm and i believed them, and i end up with full of scars in receipient area and donor area

 

They make me take a surgical decision lightly by hiding the truth and not tell me that there is no wayback after the procedure, in reverse they told me in case the procedure is failure, simply you can shave your head and live your life as there is no scars at all only tiny dots that cannot be seen in donor area and they are not problem at all

 

I follow up with them many time but their tone has totally changed after i did the procedure.

 

The doctor is truly a monster he told me i cannot do anything and you have to solve your problem with your own, this what it is now, live with it

 

And he claimed to be an ishrs and eshrs and well known to Dr Bernstine as he said

 

I m thinking to sue them as they hide the truth, i m living now with this psycological and physical pain witout any hope,

 

Every day i m putting cream or take a pill hoping the receipient area will enhance with time and really there are enhancement at least the skin tone is almost normal now but the are still many issues, the skin texture and the tiny scars and the skin level that shrinked below normal level and small cyct or lump under the left side of the hairline and the chroncile pain

 

i m still waiting and hoping but i m tired from waiting, i just want my skin back like before, how long should i still wait

 

I asked few doctors, they told me you are screwed and no solution, the skin texture on the scalp has totally changed and never can back the same, you cannot shave your head anymore even it is FUE, There are scars everywhere,

 

even in receipient area and under harsh ligh it look like i had bad acne on my scalp

 

One surgeon told me the work consider normal work but withpoor design and distribution, another told me this is consider good results for 2000 grafts and not 3500

 

But i do not care about the hair in this stage, and it seems the hair transplant surgeon do not care about the skin all of what they think is the hair regardless of the skin irrgularities

 

I m thinking maybe this chroncile pain becuase of permenant damages to the nerves or pressure happen from the follicles on the scalp and that is why there is shrinking in the skin, so i should remove the hair in order to rid of of this pain. I cannot know what i should do

 

Now i m living with artifical thinning hairline and ruined skin

 

I sacrifice and replace healthy skin to some herbs on my head

 

I m ready yo pay any amount now to get back to my original status and forget everything

 

I want to see smooth health skin again, i still cannot believe how those tiny cuts can make all of these damages

 

I thought those cuts cannot leave scars, but it seems anything deep of 4 mm can leave scars

 

How the hell i can know this before the procedure? Why nobody talk about it like it is nothing and the skin is usually normal after hair transplant ? I took this for guaranted and i thought the scars are only in donor area

 

This is so cruel and it is a crime,

 

This is not fair, those doctors should be in jail for scrwing people life by not telling them the truth and what they should expect

Edited November 4, 2016 by Sam23

[WillHT]

Hey Sam23.

 

Sorry to hear about your depression about the outcome of your HT. For what it is worth you don't sound like a psycho,

 

I'm sorry you have suffered with hairloss and a poor surgery outcome but I admire the fact you mustered the courage to address it directly in the first place.

 

It appears your HT doctor was irresponsible with his false assurance regarding the risks of this procedure and the aftercare sounds awful. Have you checked to see whether he is on the ishrs list? Do you feel comfortable posting photographs on the forum to see whether other members can assist?

 

You were brave enough to go ahead with the surgery as well as showing determination in the way you returned to the surgeon in an effort to get him to rectify the poor outcome. I want to remind you that you are still that guy & you are capable of continuing your hairloss journey until you have found a satisfactory result.

 

So pick yourself back up and continue this battle, its a temporary set-back and there will be a solution!!

 

My advice would be to seek guidance from another HT doctor about possible remedies and corrective surgery options, also please consider speaking with a GP or local Doctor regarding your depression and ongoing pain, get yourself off the couch and back in the gym if you feel able.

 

I'm very new to the forum and the HT arena so I'm hopeful more knowledgeable and experienced members will provide some wise advice shortly.

 

In the meantime, keep your chin up and if you need to vent on here, I'm sure myself and others will support you.

 

All the best,

 

Will

Edited January 1, 2017 by WillHT

[Spanker]

So, you do appear to have some cobble stoning, so, yes, its not great. Most of that can look much better with another procedure.

Overall, its not actually as bad as I think you think it is. No, I wouldn't be happy, but I'd like to think I would try to do something about it.

 

You can do nothing, shave, have another procedure, or get a good system. That's your only choices.

 

I'm but a doctor but I feel like you could have bdd (body dysmorphic disorder) and I feel like seeing counselling and possibly medication for that would be helpful.

 

I think you should see a highly trusted doc for a consultation in person to see what your options are and figure out why you are in physical pain. This could also be linked to psychiatric issues.

 

You've been unhappy for a very long time and I feel like it's tune that you take action in seeking dual treatment for depression and for your result.