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What does hair loss mean to you? Pain? Loss? Ugly?

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For me it gives me a lot of anxiety and depression. The anxiety was bad enough during a recent shed that I was losing sleep and just feeling super wiped out after a few weeks, and ended up getting sick with an infection. I am convinced the infection happened because the anxiety wore down my immune system. I've had spells in the past from other big stressors where I went through long bouts of very high anxiety (weeks, sometimes months) and at the end of those spells I always get sick, usually some kind of bacterial infection or similar.

 

In general, the hair loss just makes me feel ugly. I hate the way it looks. I'm a musician and have had long black hair my whole life, and now my part is widening visibly and the front is sparse, and I can feel in general it's just less dense. I notice people checking it out whenever they're talking to me up close, I know how it glares when I'm in the sun or bright light. It just makes me feel insecure and ugly. I really don't like wearing hats, and based on my features and head shape/size, I don't think I would look good shaved, and really don't want to try it out.

 

If I were able to stop my loss now with meds, then I'd still have a decent head of hair left, and 1 medium sized HT would help fix the problem areas. But the only thing that really seems to work is propecia, and I can't seem to get off the fence on it. I'm 'this close' to trying it, but when I read some side effect stories, I just feel the risk is too big. Also, I feel like there may be long term effects we don't know yet if you mess with your hormones daily for years on end. But, I also know a lot of guys take it for years and are generally ok.

 

I don't know. I keep trying to get myself to just accept my hair loss and not make such a thing of it, but I can't help it, it makes me feel like shit when talking to a girl and I see her eyes constantly ricocheting up to my thinning hairline. And just the thought of being a bald guy just depresses the crap out of me. I really wish I didn't care, and could just be zen about it. But as of yet, it bothers me to the point of depression and obsession, and I'm not sure how to handle it

Baron, you are GOING EXACTLY THROUGH what every balding guy is going through!!!!

 

Going bald sucks 6 ways till sunday, and there's probably something left for monday.

 

Going bald has taught me some very deep lessons, not only aboot women, but also very much aboot myself.

 

It has taught me we live in a very shallow society.

And whats worse, I'm probably more shallow then the next person.

 

That was the most depressing thing I learned aboot myself, when I had to face the fact I was just as shallow as the next person.

 

Kinda makes you wonder if "love" is really just an illusion based on appearance

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Interesting thread. Losing hair truly is a head f@ck. It's mentally draining and is something that is constantly in the back of your mind. I'm a very fit guy and also take pride in my appearance but no matter how hard I worked in the gym the first thing I saw when I looked in the mirror was a receding hairline which I had no control over!! I also think a receding hairline (and temple points) made me look a little frail and ill. Some people can pull it off but I can't! All my mates had great heads of hair (still do) and I was often teased about my hairline. My older brother, who has good hair, constantly slagged me too.

 

So 3 years ago at the age of 31 I decided to do something about it. You only have one life and I was fed up with trying to conceal the receding hairline and applying caboki. 3 years later (and 2 further small ops, one just completed 2 months ago) and I have what most people would call a full head of hair! Nobody knows I've had any work done and I haven't been the butt of any jokes since (well in the hairline sense).

 

I'm fully aware that my crown will likely weaken over the coming years but with my front 3rd addressed (4,000 grafts or so) I'm perfectly fine with that. The hairline and temple points, which I also addressed, provide a frame to my face. In my opinion I now look more fit and healthier!! People, who I haven't seen for years, tell me I look great and the gym work is paying off. But I'm pretty much the same build as I was pre-op! A decent hairline makes such a difference. So absolutely zero regrets.

 

I don't necessarily completely agree that its a shallow thing to get done. Sure it may appear like an aesthetic issue but its more about self confidence and enjoying life more. It's more psychological. And so what if it is shallow anyway. Nothing wrong with trying to improve your appearance if it results in a happier person who will in turn provide more happiness to others!!

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My doctor wanted to put me on Lorazepam, that's how bad my anxiety was getting :eek:

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I'm fully aware that my crown will likely weaken over the coming years but with my front 3rd addressed (4,000 grafts or so) I'm perfectly fine with that. The hairline and temple points, which I also addressed, provide a frame to my face. In my opinion I now look more fit and healthier!! People, who I haven't seen for years, tell me I look great and the gym work is paying off. But I'm pretty much the same build as I was pre-op! A decent hairline makes such a difference. So absolutely zero regrets.

 

I'm not against HTs either by any means, I'm just staying patient on getting one done right away, because I feel I'm still in a phase where I need to find a way to stabilize the loss first, so I can have a smarter plan of attack for HT. I do worry a bit about rushing in and using too much donor supply without knowing the future loss, especially because I'm not desirous to use propecia, let alone indefinitely for decades.

 

So you've strengthened your front, but what about your crown and top, and do you know how much donor you have left? Are you ok with having a strong front but eventually going bald on top and back, or are you using rogaine or etc? I'm not saying this as a critique, I just like to hear others' plans to get an idea of what might make sense et al

 

 

I don't necessarily completely agree that its a shallow thing to get done. Sure it may appear like an aesthetic issue but its more about self confidence and enjoying life more. It's more psychological. And so what if it is shallow anyway. Nothing wrong with trying to improve your appearance if it results in a happier person who will in turn provide more happiness to others!!

 

Shallow is a relative term. If you're one of those who can easily accept baldness, shave and move on, then that's great and congrats. But if not, no need to add even more pressure by chastising yourself with the "shallow" label. We're a visual species, we judge by appearances, simple facts. It is what it is. And I think it's really important, as you said, to be happy and confident, and looking your best helps a shitload with that. Fact.

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My doctor wanted to put me on Lorazepam, that's how bad my anxiety was getting :eek:

 

I believe it. Can I ask what regimen you have, if any? Ie- finasteride, rogaine, shampoos, raw cow placenta smoothies, anything?

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Yeah you definitely shouldn't rush into a HT. It's not like visiting a dentist and it can have significant long term effects. Several key factors need to be considered before going down the HT route:

Age

Extent of loss

Family history

Donor quality

Hair characteristics

Willing to take meds

 

If the above factors are favourable then you need to select a top notch doctor and you also need to have realistic expectations. With regards myself, I was in my early 30s, had a receding hairline (crown is okay), a mixed family history (father side not great but mothers side strong), above average donor are and wavy coarse hair (the best kind for HTs). I'm using rogaine and supplement with nettle root. I don't take finasteride due to sides.

 

So I selected a very good doc with Dr. Bisanga and went for it. Frontal half is very strong now and I have no issues with the crown. I'm using rogaine on the crown and all seems well. I still have c. 3000 grafts left I believe if more work is needed but as i said previously I'm happy enough to have some loss in the crown.

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So for a couple of years I was using a hair thinning solution it was called kabuki it was very messy but I put up with the mess for years until my wife came across a solution called hair cubed since my wife was the one to come across it she placed an order for me. And ever since that order I have never looked back I have been a customer to Hair Cubed for about 5 years now. To be honest i could never thank my wife more for making that switch for me. I would really recommend it it for those like me that have thinning hair.

Edited by mattronny1234
adding info

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So for a couple of years I was using a hair thinning solution it was called kabuki it was very messy but I put up with the mess for years until my wife came across a solution called hair cubed since my wife was the one to come across it she placed an order for me. And ever since that order I have never looked back I have been a customer to Hair Cubed for about 5 years now. To be honest i could never thank my wife more for making that switch for me. I would really recommend it it for those like me that have thinning hair.

 

For the educated, the loss is pain that hurts mentally, physically, and financially in the ugliest way.

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Hair loss has been the bane of my existence. I remember when I was 17 and first started receding, started getting comments in HS about it. I got on propecia at 19 and held it for a good for a decade, but it's still been slowly going. It has always been on my mind, made me less attractive, less desirable, get treated worse as if I am less of a person. I was already cursed with being a short man, this was just an insult to injury. I was considered to be decent looking despite the hair loss until about 30, then it just had gotten too bad, forehead is too big, I get treated like dirt in all aspects of life. Finally at a point where I can afford a transplant and likely will do it. Don't feel like just laying down and rotting yet. With already being short, hair loss had impeaded my ability to get in a long term relationship. I'm very fit, have a good career, have a masters degree, am a pilot, have good hobbies, but my looks stop any chance of getting a woman. Not only that, but people tend to not want to be seen with me in public, avoid me, treat me like a leper. I've had countless insults about my hair and height that I just don't care anymore.

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Hair loss was a source of insecurity, truth be told i'm insecure with hair too, but the crutch of hiding behind my hair loss as the sole source of my insecurity has been kicked away. Giving me the confidence to be more assertive and even more thorough with my self examination.

 

I have a better understanding of self image, personal vanity, and personal identity in the aftermath of transplants than before.

 

Not all of the self revelations are flattering ones, but I don't regret seeing them.

 

It is remarkable I have better cosmetic hair now at 33 than at 18, I was suffering from hair loss as early as the second semester of my senior year of high school.

 

The irony of my restored hair, is that it comes at a juncture of life when I'm naturally more secure in my own skin than I was prior, so I have flourished socially from the added confidence boost.

 

A balanced self esteem that doesn't rule you is an overlooked aspect of mental health, and part of healthy self image is being content and accepting of our appearance in realistic ways, but not being consumed by appearance to the point of social paralysis or placing self worth exclusively in image.

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Hair loss was a source of insecurity, truth be told i'm insecure with hair too, but the crutch of hiding behind my hair loss as the sole source of my insecurity has been kicked away. Giving me the confidence to be more assertive and even more thorough with my self examination.

 

I have a better understanding of self image, personal vanity, and personal identity in the aftermath of transplants than before.

 

Not all of the self revelations are flattering ones, but I don't regret seeing them.

 

It is remarkable I have better cosmetic hair now at 33 than at 18, I was suffering from hair loss as early as the second semester of my senior year of high school.

 

The irony of my restored hair, is that it comes at a juncture of life when I'm naturally more secure in my own skin than I was prior, so I have flourished socially from the added confidence boost.

 

A balanced self esteem that doesn't rule you is an overlooked aspect of mental health, and part of healthy self image is being content and accepting of our appearance in realistic ways, but not being consumed by appearance to the point of social paralysis or placing self worth exclusively in image.

 

I get you but when your appearance litterally affects the way people treat you than how you feel has nothing to do with your self-image. If people didnt degrade and insult you on a consistant basis and you still felt bad about your self-image than you may have an unhealthy self image. If people do actually insult you and degrade you because of your looks, than your image is lined up with reality and therefore healthy. I don't see why fixing your appearance to be treaty better is considered a bad thing.

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I get you but when your appearance litterally affects the way people treat you than how you feel has nothing to do with your self-image. If people didnt degrade and insult you on a consistant basis and you still felt bad about your self-image than you may have an unhealthy self image. If people do actually insult you and degrade you because of your looks, than your image is lined up with reality and therefore healthy. I don't see why fixing your appearance to be treaty better is considered a bad thing.
We can't be ruled by fear of others, a decision to seek hair restoration needs to be done for yourself and no one else.

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On 4/15/2016 at 7:01 PM, Shera said:

I'd have to agree with most of the posters here. I myself have always been a confident kind of guy who took a great deal of pride in my appearance. As far as looking after myself and dressing well, the hair thing was something that was out of my control. I gradually started to withdraw myself socially and the realisation that it was affecting my life sunk in.

 

As a forty something I just wasn't ready to give up and accept my fate so I did something about it and got my life back. Best thing I ever did.

 

Also having a couple of young kids, I was starting to look like grandad rather than dad.

 

My advice to anyone who is suffering is just go for it, you have one chance at life so you may as well give it your best shot!

Great advice, I like the positivity in this.

 

I wondered did any of you in this position go for finisteride along with the op?

 

Thats the biggest hurdle I have to overcome as I hear things dont always go to plan with this medication.

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