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Men should talk about their hair more


ChickenMan23
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  • Regular Member

First, I want to really thank everyone on this site and I am really glad to have had the pleasure to read over the forums the last few weeks. Not only has it been a wealth of information about hair loss and hair surgeons but it has been a cathartic experience to talk and listen to other men express their concerns about hair loss.

 

Let's face it most guys do not do well with discussing our flaws or things that bother us. We repress our problems and fears and that is especially true when it comes to something sensitive like hair loss. I am 40 years old and have had many guy friends over the years. Some have full heads of hair. Some are completely bald and some are in the middle like me. I can honestly say that I never have discussed hair loss with any of them. Friends have admitted to me everything from cheating on their taxes and spouses to suffering from ED. But no one has ever once talked to me about their daily propecia regimen or Rogaine use or asked for my thoughts on HT. Hair loss is a lonely world and for most men not acknowledging it means not having to deal with. In fact, this is the real reason men shave their heads. Yes some men look great with a shaved head but most do it because they want to stop thinking about their hair loss. I am not saying that is necessarily wrong (and to be honest is a better way to go than obsessing about your hair everyday) but it also is not dealing with the issue. When a guys say "go bald like a man and shave it off" what he really means is go bald like a man and deny it is happening.

 

We should take a page from our woman friends who have no problems discussing their flaws and ailments with all of their friends. Ever listen to a bunch of woman talk candidly. It is nothing but endless chatter about how fat they feel or what skin blemishes they have or how their boobs are sagging. And when females talk about these things they not only acknowledging their problems but they are receiving support on how to deal with it not to mention practical advise on how to fix it. The irony is that most men fear hair loss because they are concerned what women will think of them when the reality is that women are a lot more understanding and accepting of bodily flaws then men. If hair loss was strictly a prevalent female problem HT would not only be one of the most popular procedures on the planet but places like Bosley would not exist because women would have outed them for what they are years ago.

 

I realize this is easier said then done but I think it is high time for men to put away are shame and embarrassment and talk about hair loss.

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  • Senior Member

23,

 

I think you bring up good points. However, I do think the perception of hair loss and hair transplant surgery, in general, is changing. I feel like many of my friends discuss it with me (I'm 27), and nearly everyone has a question or two when they find out I'm going to specialize in hair loss and hair restoration. I think this likely represents a positive change.

"Doc" Blake Bloxham - formerly "Future_HT_Doc"

 

Forum Co-Moderator and Editorial Assistant for the Hair Transplant Network, the Hair Loss Learning Center, the Hair Loss Q&A Blog, and the Hair Restoration Forum

 

All opinions are my own and my advice does not constitute as medical advice. All medical questions and concerns should be addressed by a personal physician.

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I have two ways of thinking about it, and the hard love one I tell myself goes like this,

 

Talking about the truth when the truth is already obvious is interpreted as 'Making a Statement'

 

Do you tell your friends how many times you jack off?

 

Would you like your friends to tell you?

 

Life is competitive. Every little social circle has a status-quo. If you bring it up, you are challenging everybody who is in it. There is compassion and genuineness, but often , the moment those words come out of your mouth, you are weakening yourself, creating a vacuum of power and they will have no choice but to fill it in by inching themselves forward in the pack at your expense.

 

Hence,

 

If a guy, lets call him 'A', is losing his hair you can bet the others have speculated that it hurts him. Maybe there is some ambiguity about it but A removes all doubt when he draws attention to it, and it as if there never was any doubt, it was obvious all along, when he says....

 

A - Guys, I'm losing my hair, it makes me depressed.

B - Hey A, (looking with a smile at C,D,E and F - but making sure A can see the whole little pantomime and who is now a target of opportunity) just chill. Don't let it bother you. I don't worry about s**t like that.

A - eh....ehm, .no, I'm not bothered, no..no, just saying...

B- hey, C,D E,,do you think A should worry.

C,D,E - na......we don't care. We jjust callya baldie,, just shave it all off...

 

That said, it does change.

 

And eventually, all the guys talk about it...and the guy who doesn't become the odd one out

I won't bore you with another dialog. it just becomes the opposite. but it is the same dynamic. Saying the obvious is a statement. The target is already identified, but saying it Creates a power vacuum and the target walks away from it even more depressed.

 

That is the way I see it, sad to say.

 

At least that is how I think I should see it. Perhaps it is BS, perhaps people don't behave like animals in a desperate programmed manner like this. That would be nice.

Edited by scar5
Need to change the tone,
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Scar:

 

I do not see how talking about hair loss is weakening yourself. It is not a character flaw or something that could even be classified as a weakness. It is a physical trait that every male has.

 

As I pointed out previously I have had guys talk to me about all sorts of weaknesses like adultery, tax fraud and even sexual issues. And yes jerking off is also often talked about with guys. We have no problem making fun of ourselves in that area. Yet no one seems to talk about hair loss. I include myself in this. I have never wanted to talk about it either with my guy friends. But after reviewing this site the last few weeks where everyone is so candid about how they are approaching hair loss it has changed my perspective.

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chicken,

it IS weakness!!!!

tax fraud, adultery involves choice..

being fat, having erectile dysfunction is reversible.

admitting that u r troubled by something irreversible , something that ivolves no choice, something terribly unlucky, leaves others with,no option but concude you want to be comforted by them, hence you are weak..or at least weaker. If you can own it by being leadrr of the group, but that means the others are tacitly implying that too have some weakness and need your support

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