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Posted

I started losing my hair at around age 21 whilst at university. I remember noticing my very balding vertex one day in a store changeroom with double mirrors - I was shocked! I tried to avoid such mirrors and pretend that it wasn't happening, but after a while I shaved my head on a fairly short setting (6mm) which made it far less noticeable. However, after a year or so the thinning continued and I had to go shorter (3mm). Again this was very effective for a year or so, and i had to trim it every week, but it became obvious again.

 

So I looked into some potential solutions. I couldn't afford a transplant and so I tried concealers. First I used DermMatch, then Nanogen, and finally a combination of both. People noticed that my hear looked thicker and I was pretty happy with the effect! I didn't tell a single person about it though, even my girlfriend.

 

I became very skilled at applying it and I had a routine. Once a week I would shave my head to about 6mm. I would then apply Dermmatch and Nanogen followed by the Nanogen fixing spray. I bought some dark pillowcases and at the end of the day I would just go to bed as normal. I even brought my own pillow to my girlfriends place and told her that I preferred it to hers (I insisted on using my own pillowcase too!) In the morning I would lightly spray my head in the shower but wouldn't shampoo - this way the DermMatch would stay mostly in place and whilst still damp I'd top up the DermMatch and very carefully apply more Nanogen and fixing spray. Although the effect was impressive, the routine was painstaking and took about 20-30mins.

 

I had a roommate at the time and I would avoid him in the mornings and go straight to the bathroom (although I kept the 'tools' in my room so that I could fix it in the morning if the bathroom was occupied or there were people around. Alternatively I'd wear a hat in the morning before my shower. If my girlfriend was around this became more tricky, and usually meant that I'd set an alarm so I could get up first. She never really mentioned it, but I had gone from always sleeping in after her to always being up first. As a contingency plan I always had a hat around. But if my girlfriend was already up I'd usually just wait in bed with my head under the covers until 'the coast was clear', when I would race into the bathroom.

 

My dad and brothers knew that something was up. They even asked if I'd rubbed shoe polish on my head (in a certain light the black refection on my scalp just looked odd!). My brother rubbed my head once, but nothing came away as I had used the fixing spray. Phew! One weekend I was staying with my family and after being so careful and secretive about my routine, I managed to leave the Nanogen in the bathroom! Someone moved it onto the window cill and I had to pretend it was nothing! But my brother asked me what 'Nanogen' was! And he clearly would have googled it so he knew! Anyway, I pretended I didn't know and it was just never really mentioned again, except for occasional brief comments.

 

I managed to keep it secret from my roommate, girlfriend and everyone else. However, I started spending far less nights at my girlfriend's place and never really stayed with friends. I had used to stay with friends and go on trips all the time but for the time I used concealers (about 3yrs) I really kept to myself. I did stay at friend's places once or twice but I would obsessively check the mirrors etc in their bathroom to make sure it was suitable for my routine. And I'd usually just leave with a hat on in the morning. I developed a reputation for taking really long showers (I would let the water run after finishing my shower so that it sounded like I was showering rather than standing in silence for 20mins!). I also became extremely protective of my head. I wouldn't even let my girlfriend touch my head, I would just tell her that I've always had a thing about people touching my head (of course it was never an issue previously!). I tried to play basketball with a hat on, but even if the concealers were on, once I started sweating etc it would all smudge, there was always a chance the hat would come off whilst playing. Actually it did get knocked off my head once and I dropped the ball and scrambled to get my hat back on! Another time I collided with another player and they ended up with black streaks down there arm - they thought it was grease from the floor or something! Close call. I was playing soccer one day and the ball (made from fabric) hit the back of my head really hard. There was a big black patch on the ball, so I just stopped playing immediately and went hope without an explanation! So sports kind of stopped for me during that time.

 

I was so aware of my head that I'd avoid sitting under bright lights in restaurants or sitting in front of anyone (in rows of seats) - I didn't want anyone looking too closely! Swimming stopped. Travelling stopped. I stopped going to visit my girlfriends family because they had one main bathroom in the house and there was a chance I could get 'stranded' in the morning without my 'tools' and a decent mirror(s). I would just come up with excuses to stay away! I wouldn't lay down anywhere except my own bed. I wouldn't horse around with my brothers or friends.

 

It also became quite expensive purchasing these items monthly and I finally decided to go for a transplant. I funded this with my credit card and went to Greece (I live in the UK). The procedure was fairly painless and I went for an all day session, about 5000 hairs. However, the post-operatice period was a NIGHTMARE! I had regular waves up intense pain across my scalp, which was hypersensitive. This went on for MONTHS! Furthermore, the majority of hairs didn't grow and the overall improvement was minimal. At least it was FUE and not strip, so I didn't have a donor scar.

 

So, in the mean time, I continued with my concealer routine. I split up with my girlfriend and saw less and less of my family. I wasn't playing sports and I gained weight. I never travelled with friends. It seemed like everything was revolving around the fear of being 'caught'. One person at work looked closely in the light and asked if I had 'rubbed boot polish on my head' because my scalp was black. I told them that was just how my scalp looked but they still made a point of mentioning it to others in front if my. I started doing my best to avoid this person altogether, and got scared if I had to speak to them.

 

Around this time (3 years after starting concealers) a few of my best friends were going on a big trip. I had kind of lost touch with them because I always avoided meeting up, but I really wanted to go with them. I knew I couldn't go without being discovered! I was also struggling with girls as I would never take them back home incase things heated up and they realised! I was at a bar one day and a good friend of mine walked past and rubbed my head just as a friendly 'hello'. I immediately jumped up and shook his hand, desperately trying to see if he had some black marks on his hand from my head. It must have seemed incredibly odd. I also wouldn't play with my 3yr old nephew in case he grabbed at my head.

 

I finally decided to shave my head clean and got on the trip with my friends! I assumed it would look freakish but anything would have been better than living this secret double life, constantly worried about getting caught, and losing my friends and family in the mean time. I took a couple weeks to get used to it but I HAVE NEVER LOOKED BACK SINCE. Oh the freedom of not worrying about my shiny painted on head! And the compliments from women, some of them really liked the look. Especially once I started up with sports etc and toned up over a few months. I had my life back and a new-found confidence that was lacking ever since the day in the changing room when I noticed my bald patch. I went on ALOT of dates over the next year or so, and ended up in a long-term relationship after that. I'm close to my friends and family again. I'm fitter than I've even been. Shaving my head and ditching the concealers was the best decision I ever made!

 

So my journey was about 5 years in total. I learned many things during this time. The most important thing I learned was that the appearance of a full head of hair really isn't important to most people. It was only myself that was so pre-occupied with it that drove me to such lengths to conceal it. But was it worth all that hiding from people and fear, losing friends, distancing myself from family, relationships etc? Not even for a second! I will never get those 3 years back.

 

Regarding women, many guys see baldness as a major negative for women, and that attractive women would never go out with a bald or balding man. How wrong this is! Most women look at the guy as a whole, i.e. his personality, interests, sense of humour, SELF CONFIDENCE, career, physical build etc. If you have a lot going for you in general, and you're a confident guy, and you understand people, a bald or shaven head on a stylish, well-groomed man is almost always going to attract women. Many women prefer guys with shaved heads, as I found out personally. In fact, I went out with models, doctors, nurses, waitresses etc in the year after shaving my head, and had more success with girls than ever before.

 

Now I'm not saying that I don't want to have hair again. It would be good! But I realise that it's nowhere near as important as we make it out to be in our heads. And certainly not worth messing up other parts of our lives in order to preserve such an appearance. I've thought about getting scalp micropigmentation, but I'm just to skeptical about how the ink would look after a few years. And an old tattoo never looks good. So why should I jeopardise my normal-looking scalp? No, for now, I'm happy with what I've got. And the sooner we get our head around this, the easier it is to continue to live our lives.

 

Thanks for reading my post. I never shared this stuff with anyone and I just think it so hugely important to get our heads around the fact that hair just isn't very important!

  • Senior Member
Posted

Chris, Thanks so much for sharing your story. I'm sure most of us on here can relate. Too bad you lost 5 years over it because you look great with the shaved look.

I am the owner/operator of AHEAD INK a Scalp Micropigmentation Company in Fort Lee, New Jersey. www.aheadink.com

  • Senior Member
Posted

I assume that's a picture of you? If so, you look great with a shaved head. You're lucky! One question...now that you totally shave, do you have any scarring from the FUE procedure? Did you choose a good doctor? How come in never grew in the way you wanted it to?

  • Senior Member
Posted

Good story Chris. I can sympathize with your story. I think using concealers with such short hair is very difficult to pull off - especially with the fiber type concealers. They can clump up much more easily than dermmatch in my experience.

 

With such short hair you might want to look into some of the top FUE surgeons and combining it with Dr. Rassman's scalp micro-pigmentation. Or if you are happy with how you look now even better!

Dr. G: 1,000 grafts (FUT) 2008

Dr. Paul Shapiro: 2,348 grafts (FUT) 2009 ~ 1,999 grafts (FUT) 2011 ~ 300 grafts (Scar Reduction) 2013

Dr. Konior: 771 grafts (FUT) 2015 ~ 558 grafts (FUT) 2017 ~ 1,124 grafts (FUE) 2020

My Hair Transplant Journey with Shapiro Medical Group

Posted

Thanks guys. As you can see, I do have some 'stubble' over the frontal scalp-this is where the hairs were transplanted. However it is patchy and thin when grown out. The surgeon did have a good reputation.

 

The scarring from FUE is virtually undetectable with my totally shaved head.

 

Actually it wasn't the fibre-type concealers that were problematic, it was the dermmatch. It just looked very odd towards the end of the day when it sort of smudged and made my scalp look painted on.

 

I am happy now but I have looked into scalp micro pigmentation with His Hair Clinic. And I agree that the results look fantastic. What worried me is that it's a relatively new procedure and i don't know how it would settle/smudge/fade over the years, and so I didn't want to risk it!

  • Senior Member
Posted

The micropigmentation looks odd on a shaved head, imo. It just looks too perfect and as a result, fake. I think you were wise to avoid it.

I am the owner/operator of AHEAD INK a Scalp Micropigmentation Company in Fort Lee, New Jersey. www.aheadink.com

Posted

Thanks, that was also a worry, the fake-look. They do seem to offer a 'softer' hairline which supposedly looks more natural, but I was still worried.

  • Senior Member
Posted

Hello

 

I feel your pain. I started losing my hair in my early 20's and it was not fun. Of course I started with different hairstyles, then hats and then concealer which I used over 10 years to conceal my hairloss. I hid it from everyone and every once and a while was question about my "dark stains" on my pillow case, shirt , etc.. Very stressful in the dating world as well.

 

Finally, after 3 HT's I didn't have to use concealer and just had a little FUE touch up to fill in the crown where it was diffuse.

 

The good news is you can have gradual FUE surgery which is relatively indetectable and has no BIG scar like FUT. It is much more expensive but if you have a shaved head now may be your best bet if money is not an option

 

Do you research as it is indeed a longterm commitiment!!

 

It was a long road and best money I spent!

JOBI

 

1417 FUT - Dr. True

1476 FUT - Dr. True

2124 FUT - Dr. True

604 FUE - Dr. True

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My views are based on my personal experiences, research and objective observations. I am not a doctor.

 

Total - 5621 FU's uncut!

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