dating and hair loss

[hoose]

I went on a blind date with a girl a few months ago. It was a couple of months after my HT, so I didn't have any growth yet; I looked as I did pre-HT, which really wasn't bad--norwood 2.5 ish--high forehead/recceding hair line but thick on top and crown. By the way I'm 31 and had 1300 grafts in the hairline region. Anyway, this girl was 35, divorced, had 2 little kids, about 5'7, slender build, and I would say average face, not hot, but not ugly. I'm 5'9", athletic build, average looking and I have a good job; anyway, she blew me off after the first date, didn't return my calls etc.. said she wasn't ready for a relationship etc... Well, she seen me 6 months later at a bar and was hitting on me, flirting with me and everything. I was with my buddys and I basically didn't giver her the time of day. I can't prove it, but I'm almost sure she dissed me earlier cause of my recceding hair line and 6 months later my HT was grown in and I had a nice, lower hairline--then she's interested. It ticks me off cause she wasn't all that anyway, actually, I didn't think her face was all that great; also had two kids, and even though she was slender, it wasn't toned--just skinny; plus at 35 she is starting to show her age. It felt so awesome to blow her off like she did to me. I don't mean to be long and drawn out, but a lot of women are superficial--even ones who aren't 10's; she was probably a 7. Anyway, just thought I would share my story with everybody.

[John_in_NC]

go out with her, and dump her right after sex . Tell her why too

[kg007]

We all been there buddy.... that's what I say... go out with her, have sex and then call her next day to tell you aren't looking for a gal with baggage!

[maki8787]

yeah thats true

when i had full head of hair it was not hard to meet any girl.

today is diferent story!

and only thing is changed is my hair!

[JakeVig]

dhoose75,

 

Dont wont to ruin a good story but... At only NW 2.5 I very much doubt that she would've blown you off because of your hair. I would say that along with your new hair you are probably more confident, and consequently more attractive to the opposite sex now.

[troy]

I have noticed that too. since my Ht i get a lot of attention from women, but im not sure if its because the hair changed or if it was my confidence went up and maybe the way i portray myself is different.

[angel706]

As an old married woman who is 36, has had three kids and is therefore probably "showing her age," I can tell you that her previous dismissal of you probably had nothing to do with your hair. Before I met my husband 10 years ago, I dated a lot of men, some with a full head of hair and others who were in various stages of hair loss. Hubby's dad is a NW 4 or 5, so I knew he would probably head that direction, too. You know what? The amount of hair these men had (or didn't have) never mattered to me.

Yeah, there are some shallow women out there, just like there are some shallow men, but you have no way of knowing what her thought processes were. Maybe she was going through some stuff with her children and really didn't need or want a relationship at the time.

I agree with JakeVig...confidence is very attractive. Maybe that's what changed with you. I wouldn't waste time dwelling on it if I were you. Onward and upward, man!

[MrJobi]

Disagree

 

I have several female friends who tell me all the time they won't date bald dudes. Yes, these are attractive women but they are not really overaly superficial. Thay want a youthful looking man.Since I have had my HT's I have seen an increase in interest as well. I have the same confidence but I just get more looks without doing anything.. As much as we might not want to say it, appearance matters and will surely affect your attraction to the opposite sex. This does not discount "personality and confidence" by any means but it can only take you so far.. How many models are fat and bald??

[kg007]

Once I was in a serious relationship with a girl I really loved. We were so much in love with each other that we even talked marriage. All the sudden, I started losing hair and she broke up with me. Most girls look for guys with good hair.

[troy]

I shaved my head for about a year and met some beautifull women, but I fely i wasnt presented to my fullest capabilty and that affected me. I was out with a group last night one of the girls there was a perfect 10 absolutley beautifull and her ex boyfriend was there too, he was not attractive at all, but very funny. So I asked her "you 2 dont really seem like you would be a couple, you are very pretty and whats up with dating him?" She said " I knew him for 3 years and he kept hitting on me anf inally i said what the heck and loved him because he is so funny" crazy thing he cheated on her. So i think it depends on the person and more how it affects them, I have found in my life people respond to me on how i am to them.

[hairbank]

You have both types- that's for certain. Before marrige took me out of the dating game(15 years ago), I dated lots of girls that I'm sure were interested in me for looks alone. As I've lost my hair over the years, I thank God I ended up with a woman who couldn't care less.

 

If someone is interested in you only for looks (hair, build...etc), the relationship is probably doomed to fail from the start because we're all going to get old (and look old) eventually. That makes it all the more important to find someone who isn't just in it for the looks.

[Gorpy]

We as humans have the ability to think and reason and therefore we like to think that we can choose our partners based on "inner" beauty. In an ideal world maybe that would work. But the reality is that in the real world nature has given the animals a set of laws of attraction, which is based largely on physical attraction... and after all, we are all part of the animal kingdom.

[dhuge67]

I think that confidence is a huge part in all of this. I am not saying that bald is beautiful, but bald is not always ugly and does not have to stop you from talking to women. I know a lot of ugly guys with beautiful girlfriends, and I know a lot of bald guys with beautiful girlfriends. The common variable is that the guys are confident in themselves. They don't see themselves as ugly or define themselves as bald, or if they do, they hide it well.

 

It's hard to do - which is why I got a hair transplant and realize I'll have 2 more or so to be "complete" of this process.

 

 

I don't want to force myself to block out the bad feelings I have about my self image. I find that to be too hard and therapy to be as expensive as a hair transplant.

 

I don't take the easy way out, in anything in my life - but this is one instance where I just would rather go the easy way and deal with it on a physical level. I'm young and I just don't feel that I need the mental stress that happens to come to ME from going bald.

 

The thing I always notice is - though people will tell you what they think of how you look, if you're a lightning-rod of a personality, you'll get the girl.

[jagdish]

Hi All,

Let me tell my story too. It is happened all very recently. Most of you know it when I had my surgery that I was most concerned about my marriage. It was supposed to be happened in this July or August. But it was cancelled. You know why. Because of my bald head. Yesss. It is true. In India it is not only the girl has to be ready for the marriage but also her family we need to get acceptance from. When I started dating with her 3 years ago I was looking Ok. With not much of hairloss. I went to her parents and told them that I love their daughter and I want to marry her. They immediately said Ok because I was looking good and I was in a good job. I had hairloss but it was not much noticeble at that time. (I attached my picture to show you how I was looking at that time.) Things were fine. We planned the marriage to be done after 2 years because she has her elder sister to be get married and I have my sister. In India, Elders should get marry first then only the younger can marry. We dated for 2 years but I lost lots of hair in these 2 years. She teased me many times but she was not serious. We never had fights. When their parents saw me going bald they started insulting me by comparing me with their first son-in-law. I felt bad many times. I controlled myself many times as I know if I loose control I will loose the girl. I wanted to surprise them by getting a HT surgery and be ready with hair before marriage. Finally I went for the surgery on Feb 15, 2006. I did not do any research before, which was my biggest mistake. My head looked worst at 1 to 2 months post op. I decided to not to meet anyone at that time. But one day they came to my house. I did not wear cap or anything. I looked worst. They were stunned. Right on my face they commented very badly. They started digging other bad things about me to initiate a fight. This time I lost control. I gave them good replies and I shutted the door very aggressively when they just moved out. That's it. They cancelled the marriage. The girl was on her parents side. She said I insulted her parents so she don't want to marry me. That was the end of our relationship.

 

I don't know about other parts of the world but in India going bald in young age really kills someone's confidence. It is a crime that you did without your knowledge. No parents are ready to give their daughter if you are bald.

 

Now I am happy for whatever happened. Started a fresh search for girl. I am more confident now because I have more hair now and also I have concealers with me.

 

I am not so good in English. Please forgive me If you find mistakes in my English.

 

-Jagdish

[jagdish]

All, This is out of topic. I am working on a funny and enjoyable project nowadays. That is making a music video with my handycam. You can download my video here. Look at my hair. I am not looking bald anymore. By the way, I applied dermmatch.

 

- Jagdish

[MrJobi]

Great topic.

 

Although it's tough to generalize as every person is different,there is one thing in common with all of us.. We are all having HT's for the same reason 1 way or another. Perception.. Yes, we can say it's makes "us" feel better but why is that. It is because people have a higher perception of us due to a better appearance. You could say, it gives us more confidence, which makes us act differently but I think it's the opposite. Regardless, it helps us appear more attractive one way or another.. I'm happy we can do this !

[marino450]

hey jagdish, do you have any new pics. thanks

[kg007]

Jagdish -

 

Man I feel for you!! It sucks that your marriage was called off because of that, but maybe you should have told them about your HT instead of them finding out when they walked in your house.. But for the better or worse, it doesn't sound like you're upset over it (or maybe I am wrong). But you gotto go on and move on with your life. Everything happens for a reason.

 

Oh about the video... It looks good man!!! LOL.. what lauguage is that song in? Once it's complete, you should send it to yr ex's family!

 

KG

[jagdish]

Originally posted by kg007:

Jagdish -

 

Man I feel for you!! It sucks that your marriage was called off because of that, but maybe you should have told them about your HT instead of them finding out when they walked in your house.. But for the better or worse, it doesn't sound like you're upset over it (or maybe I am wrong). But you gotto go on and move on with your life. Everything happens for a reason.

 

Oh about the video... It looks good man!!! LOL.. what lauguage is that song in? Once it's complete, you should send it to yr ex's family!

 

KG

 

kg007,

I told them that I had HT and hair comes back soon. But they are ignorant. They still think that hair once goes out will never comes back. It is difficult to educate someone who is still living in 1980s.

 

Actually I was very upset when it was happened. But I believe in "past is past" rule and trying to move on. But even then it is difficult to stop remembering those good memories on lonely weekend nights. May be that is the reason I started making short movies. It keeps me busy even on weekends.

Thanks for the comments on the Video. The language is Telugu.

 

Marino450, I have been promosiing to post pics. But my camera got stucked and not allowing me to post pics. I will fix it this weekend. Will surely post pics soon.

 

-Jagdish

[bro]

asdfads

[Chuckisduck]

I must be a 10.1 then! upgrading to 11

 

We are shallow too in this mess, esp since we are on this site.

[bro]

sdfgdgs

[john36]

hmmmmmm

 

Hello cats

number tens, 10.5, 9.3

I shall write a poem ....

 

 

 

I'm all alone in this world, she said,

Ain't got nobody to share my bed,

Ain't got nobody to hold my hand"???

The truth of the matter's

I ain't got no man.

 

 

New hair Boy opened his mouth and said,

Trouble with you is

You have not seen my new head!

look the hair on my head and use your mind

You could have me with you

All the time.

Are you blind?!

 

I am number 3

can't you see?

Look at me!!!

 

 

She answered, Babe, what must I do?

 

 

New Hair boy said,

Share your bed"???

And your money, too.

[john36]

Guys here is one about me:

 

I was happy,going little bald

I asked my self,how about HT?

Browsed the web and I was sold

with more hair I shall improve me!

 

And if I did it, what then?

Am I to be more sexy therefore?

The sea hath fish for every man,

But I wanted to have more !!

 

 

Thus I did my mistress once,

Amaze my mind with doubt;

And popp'd a question for the nonce

To beat my brains about.

 

For poor catch can and occasionally be made

For one who is hot, and not too bold to care

Just as great fish can and occasionally be laid

By getting into the game with full head of hair

 

 

 

Whereto I thus replied:

"Each fisherman can wish

That all the seas at every tide

Were his alone to fish.

 

 

And so did IT (in vain)

But since it may not be,

Let such fisherman there to find the gain,

And leave the loss for me.

 

 

And with such luck and loss

I will content myself,

Till tides of turning time may toss

Such fishers on the shelf.

 

 

I will seat here on the bay's sands,

That every man here I may see,

for every fish they catch I clap my hands,

As once I did for me

[GLH Formula # 9]

Originally posted by John_in_NC:

go out with her, and dump her right after sex . Tell her why too

 

And then when you get aids you wonk have to worry about hair loss anymore. Find yourself a partner in life that cares about herself as much as you do and live happily ever after.