WIBELZ

I've made up my mind. I'm going to get my temples fixed. What made up my mind happened last weekend. I was up in the mountains playing some pond hockey at Keystone. I was a having great day. I was skating around and over everyone there. I was in the zone. I could feel every detail of the ice through my skates. I could feel every little move the puck made on my stick. It was a great day. I haven't felt that good in a very long time. After the game I go back to my cabin. When I pull in I see the people at the cabin next to mine pulling away in their car. One of the girls kind of looks like my ex. I think nothing of it. Its the middle of the ski season. What are the odds my ex would rent the cabin next to mine. Later that night I was in my hot tub doing some work. Yeah a laptop and water I know not a smart idea. The people in the cabin next to mine get back. They walk right past. The girl is my ex. She gets this big smile and runs over. Keep in mind its cold and there is a couple feet of snow on the ground. I'm wearing a hat. A little while later she gets in the hot tub with me. We start catching up on old times. It was just general stuff. She asks me if I'm dating anyone. I tell her. I haven't dated anyone in years. She says why you have a fantastic body. I take my hat off. The big smile on her face just slowly goes away. She tells me I'm stupid for thinking that its not that big of deal. I know deep down she is just trying to make me feel better. This girl was my dream girl. I never thought. I'd meet my dream girl. She is perfect in everyway. Last time I spoke with a doctor was Aug. of 08. Its been about a year and a half. I'm almost 29 now. I'm going to go talk to some more DRs. Pray to god they don't say I need more grafs. I'm thinking of just getting some FUEs into my temples. I'd be happy with a solid mature nw2 hairline.

Thanks for all the kind words guys. To be honest I haven't looked at any hair loss sites for a little over three months now. I'm still just as messed up as ever. I've found buying stuff and craigs list hookers make me feel better. Along with my regular full time job I do contract work on the side. With this economic recession I've been pulling in a nice pile of cash doing contract work on the side. It seems alot of businesses around Denver let go of the entire IT departments. I also received a big promotion at my full time job last month. With this extra cash I've managed to save up a 20% down payment on a cabin in Frisco. For those of you outside Colorado Frisco is a town in the middle of the majority of the ski resorts. I figure a ski girl could look past my hair if I have a place in Frisco. Now for the Craigs list hookers. I would never sleep with one of them. I should say that first. I found talking to them helps. I buy them for a hour. We go out to dinner. Once at dinner I pour my little heart out to them. I tell them everything. Every feeling on have. The majority of them just sit there with a stunned look on their face. A few of them have told me I'm crazy. One I think was a cop. She kept asking me to pay her for sex. I kept telling her. I'm not interested in sex. I'm just looking for someone to listen to my problems. I'm still surprised on just how hot these girls are. After my little "dates" I feel happy.

I guess I should also add I've been reading the various hair loss sites for almost four years now

I'm almost at a full mental breakdown. Well maybe I'm already there. I just can't take it anymore. I flat out hate myself. I stopped looking in the mirror over a year ago. If I catch my reflection in something I feel sick. I have no friends, no girl will ever give me the time of day, and hate my job. It wasn't always like this. In high school I was the loner. In college I was the hockey star. All of a sudden I was popular. I had alot of friends. Girls would just throw themselves at me. As you can guess this isn't the case now. I have no one. What I do have is a high paying high stress job in Information Technology. Its not that I hate techonology. I hate the stress of having to keep everything up at running with 99% uptime. I hate the people I work with. For example just the other week one of our sites got hit by lighting. All of the computers and phones got fried. I get a call on a cell phone from the head guy over there. He is pissed about their stuff being down. He says I need to fix the server. THIS GUY HAS A FUCKING PHD. HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU BE THAT STUPID? This is just one of the countless examples of the people I work with. I just want to bang my head on my desk after talking to these people. They think because it has buttons and you plug it into the wall I can work magic on it. Anyways, besides my fun job at work I live at the gym. I work go to the gym, work to hockey, work to mountain biking, or to snowboarding. All I do is work and exercise. I just can't take it anymore. I'm 27. I went to the doctors last year. He said about 1350 grafts. I'm going to get a transplant one year from now. If it doesn't turn I'm going to climb the 14,115 ft to the top of Pikes Peak and blow my brains out. I just can't take it anymore. I'm a loser!