Well it's been about a month since I deleted facebook, set myself some goals and made an effort to reinvent myself.



It feel like a million years!!!!!!!!!!



Seriously, I've been locked away in my flat with zero contact besides familyat the weekend. No booze, strict diet and ust myself to talk to is hard going but I am allowing myself a night in the pub in my home town in the country at the end of the month so looking forward to that. Not that I know anyone from there any more but a social setting will be nice. Maybe I'm a masachist but this level of discomfort makes me feel like I am making an effort and if i don't feel that then it's all too easy to slip into bad habits.



The good news is I have my consultation with BHR booked for the end of next month. Of course wouldn't you know it I'm summoned for jury duty two weeks beforehand so I'm hoping to god it doesn't spill over to my consultation date. I should be ok though but it's just another added worry onto an ever growing pile.



It's helped that i my mind I've broken down my hair journey for the next year into 4 phases which will rise in difficulty go as such-



Phase 1 - See local GP and get prescription drugs for flying



Phase 2 - Fly to Belgium for consultation then fly back same day.



Phase 3 - Fly to Brussels for procedure. Get in one day early stay in hotel, have procedure, stay in hotel, get check up next day then fly home in the evening.



Phase 4- This happens when my hair has grown in sufficiantly to style.



I've already completed Phase 1, got some Diazepam 2mg pills for the flight. I was advised by the doctor to try some out if I have spare time to see the effects which I did and I ended up taking 4 becasue honestly i didn't even feel the first two and even after the 4th I just felt a bit tired but then again I normally feel tired around that time since I'm an eay to bed person.



I can see myself having to 'triple dunt' three of these pills to have some effect becasue I was watching a small documantary on youtube about how to go through a flight and I kid you not, even when the presenter was filming going down the jetway to board the plane my heart was absolutely thumping with fear just watching it and to top it off this will be my first time flying alone so extra pressure is on.



I've still to book the flight as well which is costing me £250 as I can only get a direct flight to Brussels from Edinburgh and not Glasgow airport which is just down the road from me. The flight will be at 5:50am as well which also means getting up in the middle of the night to drive to Edinburgh for 4am and my consultation isn't until 3:30pm (Brussels time) and the flight back is not until 9pm I think.



So much pressure as flying on a plane is one of my big, big issues in life and I'm trying to see it as facing a fear but that dread is ever looming, especially as the last time I was on a plane I vowed I'd never get on one of those evil beasts again!



Then there is the fear that I get to the consultation and the doctor and I just won't agree on a hairline but I think that is paranoia more than anything else.

If I'm honest Phase 2 will probably be the hardest one to complete. It's the 'scout party', the dry run almost. Once it's done the next time I go it should be ok becasue I'll know where to go and what to do but right now I'm petrified not just of the flight but getting lost in the airport or going to the wrong section after landing or even worse getting lost and lanuage barriers making me look like a typical arrogant Brit.

There really is a lot riding on this next Phase but if....and i say if, it all goes to plan and I get there in one piece and the consultation goes well I'll most certainly be having a few beers once I'm safe and sound back in my flat, no matter how long I'll have been up for.



I guess we'll just need to wait and see, but if i don't check in here after April ends there's a good chance I missed my flight back home due to getting lost and am walking!



On a lighter note the length of my hair right now is reaching just above my belly button. I've been dying for a while to cut it becasue being the seasoned rocker that i am I've had long hair for over 20 years and one of the reasons I'm having this procedure is becasue i really want a change but there is no way I could have short(ish) hair in any style that would look good with a receding hairine. It would just age my face (and beleve me my pockmarked, big nosed face needs all the help it can get!) and I don't think I could go that. Anyway, I nearly had the chop last week to something a bit more sensible but I decided for a laugh to keep growing it until the actual day of my procedure just to see how long it will be and then it'll all come off, every last bit of it. At least until then I can keep my receding hidden with the long hair tucked behind my ears and it will be sad to say goodbye to an old friend when the time comes but having hair this long at my age really is starting to feel ridiculous!



And i can always grow it back!