This year saw the complete destruction of the best relationship I ever had with a woman and it was all my own fault due to my crippling neurosis. I always thought she would leave me becasue I wasn't good enough or handsome enough and at least 75% of this neurosis came from my receding hairline.



I used to be a confident, outgoingl ife of the party person and I realise now what a change my receding hairline has made in me psychologically and although losing this fantastic, kind and wonderful woman for good and to another person I might add is something I am going to have to live with for the rest of my life and I will never forget it.



Add to this my dear friend of 12 years just passed away from unexpected and agressive cancer. He always wanted to get his somewhat large nose reduced AND fix his bald patch but was always worried about debt and never got around to it and hance never enjoyed it.



I have made the decison to go for a hair transplant at some point this year. I can't afford it and I will probably not be able to keep up payments but I'm getting a loan or a credit card and getting it done. The crippling, soul destroying lack of confidence has turned me into a person I don't want to be and to have that lifted will be a mental godsent in the purest form. Learing to accept it or therapy won't work, I've tried it and I can't.



I know many others feel the way I do, hair loss can change you, it can change your psyche and cause severe mental disturbance because it is true, if you are not happy with yourself then you won't be happy with anyone else. I am one step short of going on a campaign to try and present this to the psychiatric medical community in order to get hair loss regognised as a 100% legitimate mental trauma.



In the UK you get expensive tests, pills, lengthy treatment for depression and other unseen traumas that seemingly have no root for free on the NHS. Why not hair loss? Why is it that becasue some people take it in their stride that others who are not as secure have to suffer it being labeled 'cosmetic'?I have made my opinions on the high price of HT's very clear, it's far, far too expensive to the point that it is not a 'luxury', it is 'exclusive' and this needs to stop right now. No one is saying it should be cheap but the small smount of surgery I would need to make me happy will still run up to £5000 which is absoolute nonsense.



Unfortuatly all my physical issues that I have with myself seem to land on my head. Bad acne as a teenager left my cheeks deeply pockmarked, dermatitus and prescribed steroid cream has made my skin sag on one side of my face. I have since made this slightly better by a good natural diet, excercise and skin care routune but the damage is done and my hair is the only thing I have left and I can't lose that.

But like I said, at this point I don't care, I could get cancer tomorrow and never know the joy of having my confidence back and I don't want to live hiding in the shadows any more.



I will go to a loan shark if I have to to get the money. I have £3000 in savings which is all I have (and honestly should be more than enough if hair transplants were a fair price) but I need another 2 and a half and I will get it any way I can.



Yes this is desperation and I don't blame capitalism, hard work should be rewarded. What I do blame is failure to recognise genuine mental trauma from a physical condition and exploitation of that trauma from overpriced clinics.



I know I'm not alone, this is what keeps me thinking this is the right (and only) way!