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Support Group - Discuss personal issues due to Hair Loss Interact with hair loss sufferers by sharing your hair loss experience and how it has impacted you. Relate to others on a personal level and offer and receive helpful support

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Old 02-18-2012, 11:46 PM
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Default Personal struggles.

Hi guys, I've been thinking alot lately on my struggles with hairloss and this is the current struggle that I'm facing.

On love:
Met a girl, went on a first date few days ago and I wore my baseball cap, tee shirt and jeans. I casually explained to her its a dress-down friday at work so I'm allowed to wear a cap at work. To be honest, I feel really lousy inside, and eventhough we had some form of chemistry, I'm afraid that she will run away at the sight of my receding hairline. I'm pretty hesitant to reply her text messages now.

At work:
I've been following up closely on three main surgeons, Dr. Feller, Dr. Hasson and Dr. Wong. Undoubtedly they have a proven track record as far as I'm aware of. However, I'm wondering, how do you guys cope during a post op period? I'm thinking of quitting my job and living like a hermit for at least a year before I can face myself.

Its mind boggling really.
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Old 02-19-2012, 01:15 AM
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Hello, I went through this a few months just before I boarded the plane to see Dr Hasson- who by the way was a really nice person. Anyway...I went out on a few dates but had the same demons inside my head- so I was brave enough to speak to these ladies & get them out but was paranoid about my look! Now I'm in the resting phase until my hair grows then I'll be back to the dance floor

Wouldn't worry too much! - I told people at work that I'm having a HT as I was only able to get 3 weeks off work. It was better that way and no one mocked me.
I thought about quitting my job but that's crazy!! You'll be fine. Take a few weeks off if you can and use concealer by then.
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Old 02-19-2012, 01:36 AM
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Hi Dutch, many thanks for your comments and response, appreciate it - quite grateful for this forum here.
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Old 02-19-2012, 03:05 AM
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Dutch is right. If its not possible to hide then its better to tell people at work. I was also in the same situation while I went back to work after 1 month. I was prepared to tell the truth if anyone would have asked but luckily no one asked anything. Maybe they noticed but I didn't care. Its actually not a big deal. Many people do ht now a days. Quitting job will be crazy. Also concealers work pretty well to hide ht. You can think of applying concealers if you don't want people to notice.
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Old 02-19-2012, 08:51 AM
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Hi oceanchild,

Thanks for responding, noted in that. Probably have to use toppik in the meantime
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Old 02-19-2012, 10:54 AM
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I just got a procedure done 10 days ago: my vertex was worked on, and well as my front. I start back to work on Tuesday and I have a hair cut that makes me look like friar tuck. I had been using concealers on my bald spot for a few months and now I go back to work with a bald spot about as big as you can get! My solution is to tell everyone I lost a bet to my brother while visiting him and he shaved it while I was asleep. Sounds a little lame, but hey how are they to really know? And in a few months I will start using concealers again until it grows out.

I think at first people will be like "WTH did you do?" But after a few days everyone will forget about it.
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Old 02-19-2012, 07:09 PM
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Hi Icsulla, kudos to you for being candid and open about it! Thats an awesome attitude!
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Old 02-19-2012, 07:54 PM
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Well my perspective has changed as I have gotten older. I mainly got this procedure done because I had one in the mid 90's that was beginning to show. If I had it to do all over again; I would just shave it. And I can totally sympathize with many of the young guys on this forum; they think losing their hair is the end of the world. I felt the exact same way. I only wish I had the options many of you guys in your 20's have. Think how all of the guys that are high NW's that are walking around in their late 40's and older that didn't have the options that we have today. Or the guys that were butchered throughout the 80's and 90's trying to get their hair back and look 100 times worse then being bald. Ugh.

I feel I am pretty damn lucky to have kept a decent amount of hair (NW3V, in case you are wondering), and my goals are very modest. And it will grow back... LOL
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Old 02-19-2012, 08:01 PM
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Just to add to that point. We are still not spared with agents who are charismatic and making empty claims. In this age there is this unregulated and untested market out there. Which is quite scary really. All I can say is, go see a specialist and get it accessed by professionals.
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Old 02-20-2012, 10:42 AM
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Travis, I insist you text that girl immediately! Or call her. Calls are better than texts. You don't yet have any solid reason to believe that she'll have a problem with your hair, and yet you're potentially killing the relationship through your own actions.

I know this is easier said than done, and, lord knows, I've often let my own insecurities stand in the way of important things (and still do sometimes), but please take my advice. I've said it many times before: the psychological effects of dealing with hairloss are much more damaging to a guy's chances with women than the impact of hairloss on his appearance. Far more women are turned off by an insecure man who lacks confidence than are bothered by baldness. By allowing hairloss to damage your state of mind you effectively withdraw yourself from the dating game completely.

However, I do think it's probably a bit of a mistake to cover yourself up on your first dates. You shouldn't turn your hairloss into a surprise that hits her later on. It is possible that she'll be put off by it. That's undeniable. If that happens let it happen sooner rather than later to lessen the disappointment.

I hope you read all that and take it on board.
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