Pat, exactly how "private" is your forum...?

[arfy]

Hi Pat
I post on a few different websites. On a couple of them I use a different name than Arfy. What can I say, I have some free time right now. LOL. I often post anonymously, in forums where no log in is required. I'm not trying to be "Arfy the expert", I'm just trying to learn new things, and exchange information, not promote some "alter-ego".

I've been posting on a different website, and been having a "war of words" with a guy who is a website administrator for a third-party site I don't like very much. (Basically I think his site is poor, but more than that this guy is a sneaky low down dirty-tricks-playing rat).

In fact, Pat, you have clashed with him yourself, in the past, and I made a point of standing up for you. He used to write "slams" of you in his forum, then say "I invite Pat to respond to these serious charges". Then when you DID respond, he would delete your post which made it look like you couldn't stand up for yourself! I thought that was pretty outrageous, and I haven't forgotten that is how this jerk runs his website.

But now, apparently, this guy has been digging around and has posted personal information about me, on the internet, as a way to attack me. Somehow he knows my IP address, and knows that I post on your site as "Arfy".

I've looked at my posts, and I don't see an IP address. I've always assumed that my posts here were private, that I could make posts in confidence that my privacy would not be revealed. I find it hard to believe you would give this fellow "ammunition" that he would try to use, to hurt me, since I know you have seen he doesn't play fair.

I think it is crucial that if people post in online forums like this, that their privacy will not be abused by the site administrators. I don't know what to make of this, since I do post as Arfy on other sites.

But he did say that I am "Arfy from Hair Transplant Network", and then he gave out my age (wrong) and location (also wrong but close!) on the internet. I find this disturbing.

Pat, what should I make of this?

[arfy]

Hi Pat
I post on a few different websites. On a couple of them I use a different name than Arfy. What can I say, I have some free time right now. LOL. I often post anonymously, in forums where no log in is required. I'm not trying to be "Arfy the expert", I'm just trying to learn new things, and exchange information, not promote some "alter-ego".

I've been posting on a different website, and been having a "war of words" with a guy who is a website administrator for a third-party site I don't like very much. (Basically I think his site is poor, but more than that this guy is a sneaky low down dirty-tricks-playing rat).

In fact, Pat, you have clashed with him yourself, in the past, and I made a point of standing up for you. He used to write "slams" of you in his forum, then say "I invite Pat to respond to these serious charges". Then when you DID respond, he would delete your post which made it look like you couldn't stand up for yourself! I thought that was pretty outrageous, and I haven't forgotten that is how this jerk runs his website.

But now, apparently, this guy has been digging around and has posted personal information about me, on the internet, as a way to attack me. Somehow he knows my IP address, and knows that I post on your site as "Arfy".

I've looked at my posts, and I don't see an IP address. I've always assumed that my posts here were private, that I could make posts in confidence that my privacy would not be revealed. I find it hard to believe you would give this fellow "ammunition" that he would try to use, to hurt me, since I know you have seen he doesn't play fair.

I think it is crucial that if people post in online forums like this, that their privacy will not be abused by the site administrators. I don't know what to make of this, since I do post as Arfy on other sites.

But he did say that I am "Arfy from Hair Transplant Network", and then he gave out my age (wrong) and location (also wrong but close!) on the internet. I find this disturbing.

Pat, what should I make of this?

[Pat - Publisher of this Community]

Arfy,

I certainly will not give out, nor have I given out, anyones personal information from this site - such as their email address, IP address, etc.

When people here sign up for the newsletter or this discussion group this information is not given out to anyone, no matter what the situation.

I do not know what software this web publisher uses. But this forum's software does allow me to view a members IP address. But I don't really know how this could be used to access a persons actual address or contact info. It may be possible to identify the persons ISP and perhaps then their general location from an IP address. I doubt very much, short of a search warrant, that an ISP would reveal a customers contact info.

Sorry to hear about your frustrations with this fellow. You're certainly welcome here, even when we disagree.

By the way, are you going to take Dr. McAndrews up on his generous offer to help repair your previous work? I think it would be great to see you finally get the results you've wanted.

You have helped a lot of people yourself. Perhaps it is time to help yourself. I hope that you have the donor hair to make a significant improvement in your look.

Best wishes - Pat

Thanks for reading this post. But it's your posts that make this discussion group real and vital. Please jump into the discussion. Just pick a topic and click the reply button.

[arfy]

Thanks for the reply, Pat. This fellow posted my age (wrong) and location in a forum, which is troubling. (like "I know who you are!") It's an implied threat that he can find out more about me, and reveal it. This guy plays dirty and I wouldn't put it past him.

About Dr. McAndrews, his post was a bolt out of the blue, and I was pretty surprised. I've been thinking his offer over. Since I've never even heard of him until recently, I've been looking at his site and asking around, to see if anyone I know, knows about him. His site does look impressive, that is to say he seems like an excellent doctor based on his philosophy and approach.

There's a few things I need to discuss with Dr. McAndrews, and I've been waiting for some feedback to come in on him, before I call. But here's some of the issues, since you seem interested.

First, I've already seen a doctor who does corrective work. He's taken "some" of my big grafts and broken them up into FUs. This may already disqualify me from Dr. McAndrews' offer. Because he said "if I haven't already had corrective work done". This graft removal-redistribution is a relatively slow process (20-30 big grafts only, can be done each session) and I've already had 2 of these "minisessions". Just being honest here.

This next part is important...I am happy with my current doctor. So far I am extremely impressed with the quality of the repair work, and I seem to like my doc "on a personal level" as well. I'm not really interested in "jumping ship". Even though I am financially strapped right now.

Also, Dr. McAndrews stipulated that I would tell my story on the internet when I was done. I think I will do that, but I want to "be in control of my own story." I wouldn't be happy to be portrayed as an example of "what is good about hair transplants", for example. My current doctor has no stipulations, (although he is not working on me for free). However my view on "what the problems are with transplants", has never been just that "no one will give me a free one". I don't know if I'm expressing that correctly. Even a free one can be a bad decision, (though in my case corrective work will almost certainly help.)

Which brings up my other issue. My current doctor told me my donor area is ravaged, and I still have a huge amount of area to cover. The yield I got from my current grafts, in relation to the overall scarring in the donor area (open donor) is poor. (there's not a lot of yield, and severe scarring in the donor area). My doctor thinks that with all that area to cover, I should still only be able to get something like 2000 FU grafts in total. As you know, that's not a lot of grafts, that is what is typically considered (just slightly more than) "one normal FU session", and most guys will want 2 or 3 sessions probably, when they are as bald as I am. So I will never have a "great" result, no matter what. In other words I was "ruined" by my first doctor.

I currently wear a hat every day of my life. I am sure that I will still want or need a hat after a corrective surgery. So I haven't felt the need to rush into the surgical chair (or spend the money) because I know I won't be satisfied afterwards, anyway. Will I look "better"... certainly. Will that be good enough to forget about my hair finally... definitely not. I am in a "no-win" situation. Maybe this will explain my interest in Dr. Woods' method, as he seems to do especially well with desperate cases like me. Not to open that debate up again, but this should explain why I think his approach is interesting, if not crucial, to someone like me.

This may be "more information than people want to know" about me, but I figured at some point I would be asked if I took up Dr. McAndrews' offer, and why or why not. At this point I will never rush into a HT surgery again, based on the encouragement of a doctor, or anyone else. (And I recommend a "no-hurry" approach to ANYONE considering this surgery). I want to do things at my pace. I may call Dr. McAndrews to find out about speaking to his students. That was, honestly, one of the things that appealed to me about his offer. I doubt I would go in front of the general public and tell my story. But I think future HT surgeons need to know that they have the power to ruin lives, by doing substandard work on people.

I'll keep you posted, I am on vacation for two weeks though, as of now.