there was a lad with luscious locks.
they were nice...
girls spoke of him as the best of co$ks.

one day his balls made dht.
it wasn't nice...
that was the last of girls he would ever see...

the last of girls he would ever see.
--(one more time for dramatic effect)--
the last of girls he would ever see...

HAIRWEKNOW & JULLIETTE

PART I; ACT THREE; BALCONY CRIES:
(bald man crying from balcony gazing into the moon at midnight)
"Oh, hairweknow
----oh, hairweknow,
----where art thou?
----------------where art THOU?"
--(WEEPS and MOANS)--

"OoOoh, hairweknow
------OooOOooh, hairweknow; where ART though!?!
-----OH *how* I long for your locks;
HOW shall I go another *DAY* without you?(!)
your soft touch against my skin,
your sweet scent of intoxication; like beds of the finest flowers to bury my face between and partake of your beauty"...

---(sobbing, gasping INTOLERABLE weeping & moaning cradling himself on the balcony)---
"OOOh!!ooOOOoOHHhh!!, HAIRWEKNOW,
OOOooooOh, HAIR......"
(neighbors awake):
----"SHUT THE FU$K UP BALDIE!!!!!!!!"
(apple core tossed at shiny moon reflecting bald head)
---SMACK!!!---
" YOUR BALD! GET OVER IT!!!....
& FOR GODS SAKE, GET OUT OF THOSE FU$KING TARTY TIGHTS, MAN !!!"

NG,

I used to hate poetry in school - but this I can relate too

Damn NG2GB. I'm sitting in bed with frickin flu, but this shit's making me laugh my ass off. NICE! HAIRWEKNOW & JULIETTE is and instant classic. Will you play HAIRWEKNOW with your spandex tights? Hopefully you'll have to purchase them and don't already have some in your closet

HAIRWEKNOW & JULLIETTE

PART DEUX; ACT ONESIES; BALCONY CRIES & HOPE FROM THE NORTH

(bald man still moaning, head buried in arms, shiny scalp reflecting the glorious moon)

"BAAA-HAAA..."
"BAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
(neighbor's AGAIN)
"FU$K!!! Get a GRIP & SHUT UP BALDIE!!!"

"Oh, sorry. Im sorry"
"baaaAAA!!!"

A man w/ long luscious golden locks wearing red and white tights w/emblems of maple leafs on his knees & chest, riding an elk w/strong antlers gallops in from the distance.
(gallop-----gaLLop----GAllOP...)
He arrives below the balding man...
"Oh BALDING MAN!...OH BALDING MAN!!"
(baah...sniffles....baaah.... balding man sees the red & white tights and the elk below, and by his estimations the most beautiful blond locks of hair he has ever seen)...

"YES? From whence did you hither?
Did you come to scorn me w/your beautiful hair?
Whom are you I say! And from whence did you hither?"

"I am Moptronic and I come from the North,
from a BEAUTIFUL land flowing w/honey, hair, & hockey pucks...
I did SURELY not come for scorn!
I am one of the three wise men:
Hasson, Wong, and Moptronic.
I saw the stary reflection of your shiny head & it has led me to you"...

still sobbing...sniffling..."What is that in your hand?"

Moptronic steps off his elk, removes his hat, shaking his long glorious locks while holding a vile....
"Im sorry, one second. All of this DAMN hair has been in my face the whole way here!"

BAaaaA!....BaAAaA!!!!

"Shhhh...HAIRWEKNOW! I bring you a potion,
which shall surely bring your loved one back!"

"But how can this be? What will happen?"

"Well, you shall partake of the potion.
You shall never desire a woman's touch nor taste again;
your balls shall shrink to the size of peas;
your loins shall no longer allow you to gain entry to a woman again, you shall bear no children, and will die a man w/a full head of hair!"

"Give me this GLORIOUS potion you hold & speak of!!!!"

"I also come w/tidings of good news oh HAIRWEKNOW..."
(hairweknow, slamming the potion in one shot-----GULP, GULP,GULP)

"speak on lovely locks!"

"there is a man in the north, who has a sword which he has made for himself; it is a sharp sword which he has customly cut for you! He sharpens it day and night and will conquer your plagued head and bring your love one BACK to life again!!!!"

"Oh lovely locks if this is true...if this is true!
Say no more, TAKE me to this man you speak of and adore!!!!"

...Moptronic & Hairweknow mount the elk, and gallop into the north.....
gaLlUP...GaLLUP......GALLUP......
-----------------------

HAIRWEKNOW & JULLIETTE

PART THRICE; ACT TWOSIES; JOURNEY & SONG & DANCE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBHZFYpQ6nc

gallUP...GalLuP...GALLUP...
vooOOOM-----voooOOOM
HONK!!!----HONK!!!

"HEY JACK ASS!!! GET OFF 'A THE FREE WAY W/YOUR ELK!!! FREAKS!!!"

HONK!--HONK!!!

"NICE TIGHTS & FEATHERS QUEERS!!!!"


"those beasts are passing us quickly".
"those beasts have 2million Elk-power hairweknow"..."shall we pull of the road for a rest?"
"yes, Im rather parched"....

on a country road hairweknow sits in the grass and moptronic lies atop the elk..
tooT..ToOoOt...ToooOT...
"what is that moptronic?"
"oh, Im brushing up on my fiddle harmony. Do you play?"

"no, but I love song & dance"...

tooT...ToOoT...

(hairweknow begins stroking his beard)
Hmmm...God made MANY bald men,
If I were a hairy man (?)
would it spoil some VAST eternal PLAN!?
(humming and singing):
"If I
------WERE 'a
------------HAIRY
-----------------MAN!!!
Yubby dibby -DibBy--
DIbBy----diBby---dibBy--
diDDy-----Dum"
hairweknow, folding his arms kneeling & dancing...

Moptronic standing atop the elk....
"if YOU
----WERE 'a
----------HAIRY
---------------MAN!!!!
YubBy diBby--DibBy-dibBy
dibBy DibbY------- dIDDy dum

What 'ed
-------YOU
----------DO for
---------------FUN!!??

hairweknow pulling two long curly hairs from the elks ass wrapping one around each of his ears....

"if I
-----WERE 'a
----------HAIRY
-------------MAN!!!!
YubBy, diBby---DibBy-dibBy
didDy----- duM
I would-----buILD
'a BIG----TALL MOP (hands gesturing to the heavens) w/spikes by the DOZEN!!!!
----that
--------REACHED
--------------THE
---------------SUN!!!
So every'A---ONE
----------------KNOWS
--------------------this is the HEAD of 'A
----------------------------------------HAIRY
------------------------------------------MAN!!!

moptronic flittering atop the elk on his tip-toes, & hairweknow on the ground BOTH of them hands gesturing wildly & chests arched to the heavens singing in HARMONY:
"If WE
----WERE
--------HAIRY
-------------MEN!!!
YUbBy---diBby--DiBby-
--------------dIbBy---diBby
diDdy-----DUM
WE ----WOULDN'T
----------HAVE TO
----------------WORK
----------------------HARD!!!!
TO Play w/GIRLS
----for
---------------FUN!!!!
yuBby---diBby--dibBy--diBby
diBby dUM!!!!
WE would
----MAKE
-----ALL the
-----------GIRLS
------------------COME!!!!!!!!!!!"

(sample of song & dance below)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBHZFYpQ6nc

----CURTAINS CLOSE------
END OF ACT THRICE; SCENE TWOSIES, JOURNEY & SONG & DANCE................................

Wow. How did I miss this gem...!?

__________________
-----------

*A Follicles Dying Wish To Clinics*

1 top-down, 1 portrait, 1 side-shot, 1 hairline....4 photos. No flash.

Follicles have asked for centuries, in ten languages, as many times so as to confuse a mathematician.

Enough is enough! Give me documentation or give me death!

----HALF-TIME SHOW--------

Attached Images

jessica-alba-wallpapers-3.jpg (175.8 KB, 69 views)

----HALF-TIME SHOW PART DEUX----

Attached Images

Jessica-Alba-27.JPG (59.0 KB, 71 views)

-----Offering will be collected---------
------------PRIOR-----------
--------to the next act------------