Keeping Personal Insults Off Our Forum - Respect is Required

[TheEmperor]

Originally posted by wantego:

Lost,
With all due respect I tend to disagree about this "toughening up" stuff. Most adults do not come to a hair transplant board to be insulted. They come because of a serious issue effecting their lives. They often are opening themselves up in a somewhat vulnerable position (including posting bad pictures of themselves) seeking advice. If this board ever becomes about "toughening up" to personal insults (thankfully Bill and Pat make sure that isn't the case) then many people will go elsewhere.

The internet is a place for some people to express their anger in a way that they would not do in person usually. That is why we have the term "internet tough guy". I have seen that it is often the same exact guys on sports message boards that often have trouble or get banned from many different boards because they can not deal with other posters respectfully. Shouldn't we treat other posters with the same respect on this board as you would if you were looking at them eye to eye? I'm only one person but I do speak to many people on this board and I know that some of them often choose not to speak at times because they do not want to be personally attacked. Personal attacks do not have a place on a hair transplant message-board in my opinion. If you do not like a doctors results than be critical of the results but insulting other posters only because they hold a different point of view is going over the line in my opinion.

Exactly! If a friend of mine said he did his research and scheduled a surgery with one of the top-5 doctors in the industry, I would not post pictures of NW-7 and try to scare him with "what if" questions. I would not question the integrity of the doctor he chose.

I would absolutely not be trying to instil doubts, but rather encouraging him and wishing him well.

I totally agree about the internet tough guy phenomenon. Maybe I didnt read all the posts before, but I have recently noticed an uptick in the agression and hostility. It is as if this is spillover from HLH which is no longer relevant. The mighty armani has been exposed, now is seems some malcontents are aiming at other doctors who have a huge record of success.

I think there are guys who are NW6/7, who maybe dont have the money or follicular resources for a good HT, or maybe they were disfigured by a bad surgeon, and they take this negativity out on other posters.

Advanced Norwoods are getting good HTs these days from the right clinics.

[Bill - Managing Publisher]

And I don't think a very spirited debate and mudslinging are mutually exclusive.

This is absolutely right. As the moderator, I'm certainly aware that people of all backgrounds and different opinions and ideas come to this forum to share ideas, experiences, and photos. There's nothing wrong with disagreeing with one another and holding a lively debate. In fact, members are encouraged to share their genuine opinions and experiences, even if it goes against the majority. This facilitates learning for hundreds of thousands of members and guests for years to come.

Where a healthy debate turns destructive is when members begin to attack one another. The concept is a simple one, but more difficult in practice.

In one word, I'd describe it as "respect". In a phrase, I'd say, "Treat others how you would like to be treated". The only exception to this rule would be if a member feels they deserve to be treated like dirt and feels compelled to treat others this way. I'd suggest if this is describing you, that this isn't the forum for you. I'd also suggest that anyone who feels they deserve to be treated like dirt seek professional counseling.

Here's the bottom line: Share your genuine opinions, ideas, and experiences, and have fun!!!!

I have a lot of faith in the members of this community and expect that following the above won't be difficult.

Best wishes,

Bill

[lost my swagger]

wantego-- i agree with you when you say personal attacks do not belong.. they do not..

i also agree that we should treat people on here just as we would 'face to face' i know personally i do this.... who is to say that face to face PGP wouldnt tell me hes gonna 'whip my punk ass' and then he might assure me that i'dont want a piece'...

to be honest i agree with most of what your saying wantego, but like you say we are ALL here because this very serious issue had indeed, effected all of our lives deeply. as a result we have many different personalities joining together to help others in their own way...sometimes the more aggressive personalities flex their muscle but i believe that is simply their nature... i am not saying its ok to name call, or insult because its not ok. what i am saying is that in this often heated HT world, these things can and do happen. so while the aggressors work on calming their temper maybe the ones who gets so deeply offended(or the posters u note who are "afraid" to be attacked) feels the need to complain ought to work on toughening up because i do believe their soft nature should be worked on aswell... IMO they would both growing as people...

then there is me... perfect..... right in the middle. my pourage is juuuust right

anyway.... i have not slept and i work graves so maybe im delusional right now who knows. but just felt the need to throw my opinion on this into the ring, just as you did. respectfully

[wantego]

Lost,
You gave your opinion "respectfully". That is great. That is how everybody should and why this thread was posted.

I do not see the forum rules listed. If Bill can show us where to find the forum rules that might help clear up the situation at hand.

Here is my opinion. If personal insults or attacks are allowed against other HT patients/posters within the rules they they should be tolerated. People that do not want to be insulted or read other people being attacked will have to understand they are allowed under the rules. It would then be their decision whether or not to consider going to another board if they are allowed under the rules.

If personal attacks or insults are not allowed under the rules of the site they should not be tolerated. That is what a set of rules are for. You are right there are different personalities on the board but there should only be one set of rules. Why can 98% of people on this board post in a respectful fashion without personal insults or attacks but 2% can not? How many should be allowed? If it becomes 20% is it a problem? 50%? 75%? I personally have seen that often the people that make the personal attacks are also people that get really upset very fast when something negative is thrown their way. I have no problem with anybody giving a strong opinion about a doctors results, ethics, costs, etc but when other HT patients get personally attacked for having a contrary opinion that is going too far in my opinion.

[lost my swagger]

Exactly! If a friend of mine said he did his research and scheduled a surgery with one of the top-5 doctors in the industry, I would not post pictures of NW-7 and try to scare him with "what if" questions. I would not question the integrity of the doctor he chose.

i could not disagree with you more.........

there are people like myself who feel that ASKING QUESTIONS are the only way to get true answers... hopeful did not post this to scare drew he posted it because he felt its something drew REALLY needs to consider... and drew is better for it if you ask me...

with all due respect, i feel as though you see things backwards man...

hopeful wishes the best for drew i TRULY believe this and he said so himself.. infact he cares so much about a total stranger he takes time to inform him of risks that you dont seem to believe exist as long as he chooses a "top 5er"......

i know you may not want to hear this but patients have been BOTH hurt and helped by their decision to have a HT, EVEN THOSE CHOOSING THE BEST THE BUSINESS HAS TO OFFER.. their stories can be found on here aswell.. it may be a scary thing for some to accept but that does not change the FACT that it is real, and should be considered... with a decision such as this that is so very LIFE CHANGING one does not need encouragment my friend... they need ANSWERS.. REAL ANSWERS.... the encouragment comes after they have taken the leap

some people buy into the cherrypicked results
some have seen enough to know that they are exactly that.

some people help by trying to inform
some people help by saying 'good luck slugger'

personally if i came here to ACTUALLY LEARN i dont need ecouragement NEAR as much as i need facts...... even if those facts are scary.... im a big boy so i could handle it..infact, id be thankful

[lost my swagger]

Lost,
I do not see the forum rules listed. If Bill can show us where to find the forum rules that might help clear up the situation at hand.

wantego-- there is no situation here, as ive said. we both agree.. personal attacks and insults should not be allowed.. and they are not apparently.. i dont think Bill needs to post anything.. there should be one set of rules we follow....

[wantego]

Originally posted by lost my swagger:

wantego-- there is no situation here, as ive said. we both agree.. personal attacks and insults should not be allowed.. and they are not apparently.. i dont think Bill needs to post anything.. there should be one set of rules we follow....

Lost,
When I say the situation at hand I was speaking about this thread.

[lost my swagger]

wantego--- i misunderstood. my bad

[wantego]

Originally posted by lost my swagger:
wantego--- i misunderstood. my bad

No probs.

[hopefull]

Originally posted by TheEmperor:

Exactly! If a friend of mine said he did his research and scheduled a surgery with one of the top-5 doctors in the industry, I would not post pictures of NW-7 and try to scare him with "what if" questions. I would not question the integrity of the doctor he chose.

I would absolutely not be trying to instil doubts, but rather encouraging him and wishing him well.

I totally agree about the internet tough guy phenomenon. Maybe I didnt read all the posts before, but I have recently noticed an uptick in the agression and hostility. It is as if this is spillover from HLH which is no longer relevant. The mighty armani has been exposed, now is seems some malcontents are aiming at other doctors who have a huge record of success.

I think there are guys who are NW6/7, who maybe dont have the money or follicular resources for a good HT, or maybe they were disfigured by a bad surgeon, and they take this negativity out on other posters.

Advanced Norwoods are getting good HTs these days from the right clinics.

Its really beyond me how you try to parallelize the post of wantego with what i said on Drew's thread?You say.. exactly!... and then you talk about my post. drew seemed to understand dr. Wong seemed to understand but you simply dont get it.

Now i just want to say because i geard about PGP that once i had a big fight with him and he honestly started creeping me out but i am smart enough to understand when someone offers a lot to this community. Even then... i wouldnt change PGP for 100 smooth talking posters. But thats just me and this place needs everyone to respect everybody and talk an a civil manner.