I'm almost at a full mental breakdown. Well maybe I'm already there. I just can't take it anymore. I flat out hate myself. I stopped looking in the mirror over a year ago. If I catch my reflection in something I feel sick. I have no friends, no girl will ever give me the time of day, and hate my job.

It wasn't always like this. In high school I was the loner. In college I was the hockey star. All of a sudden I was popular. I had alot of friends. Girls would just throw themselves at me.

As you can guess this isn't the case now. I have no one. What I do have is a high paying high stress job in Information Technology. Its not that I hate techonology. I hate the stress of having to keep everything up at running with 99% uptime. I hate the people I work with.

For example just the other week one of our sites got hit by lighting. All of the computers and phones got fried. I get a call on a cell phone from the head guy over there. He is pissed about their stuff being down. He says I need to fix the server. THIS GUY HAS A FUCKING PHD. HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU BE THAT STUPID? This is just one of the countless examples of the people I work with. I just want to bang my head on my desk after talking to these people. They think because it has buttons and you plug it into the wall I can work magic on it.

Anyways, besides my fun job at work I live at the gym. I work go to the gym, work to hockey, work to mountain biking, or to snowboarding. All I do is work and exercise.

I just can't take it anymore. I'm 27. I went to the doctors last year. He said about 1350 grafts. I'm going to get a transplant one year from now.

If it doesn't turn I'm going to climb the 14,115 ft to the top of Pikes Peak and blow my brains out.

I just can't take it anymore. I'm a loser!

I guess I should also add I've been reading the various hair loss sites for almost four years now

wow... I am going through the same thing.I live at the gym as well .i totally understand how you feel trapped and alone. Lost alot of hair by 22 and just got 2,500 grafts done on the 7th. Just hang in there bro. why are you waiting? its your life why wait a year?

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Don't take this the wrong way, because it does bodes well for your future, but you seem to have some pretty severe emotional/psychological dilemmas that extend beyond the plane of hairloss. Maybe hairloss was the ultimate catalyst and straw breaking the camel's back (I know it was for me).

No joke, though, your life sounds pretty sweet; you obviously loathe it right now, but that doesn't mean you have to loathe it "tomorrow". You have your health, physical talents, intellectual prowess, ambition, financial well-being, and youth.

Basically, you have every superficial and otherwise accoutrement to attract people. You could be a NWfckin6 and it'd still be the case. And it seems you are hardly a NW6, though that's actually beside the point.

The question is why with all of this you are nonetheless miserable, and why your misery happens to be connected to isolation (/alienation) from friends and lovers. I can almost guarantee you that if you had Elvis-hair tomorrow your discontent would not fundamentally change.

Look to the future, in which a HT can make your life all the more perfect, but don't hyperfocus at the neglect of potentially omnipotent problems that lurk under the cloak of "needing" more hair.

I would spend some coinage on finding a cool therapist and give that a go, to be perfectly honest and totally frank.

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*A Follicles Dying Wish To Clinics*

1 top-down, 1 portrait, 1 side-shot, 1 hairline....4 photos. No flash.

Follicles have asked for centuries, in ten languages, as many times so as to confuse a mathematician.

Enough is enough! Give me documentation or give me death!

Wibelz,

I couldn't help but see myself in your first post, at least somewhat. I can relate to almost everything from the way I felt about myself, to feeling I had no life, to my career as an IT Manager. I think we should share IT war stories and compare the stupidity of the people we've had to deal with in the profession :-).

Frankly, it sounds like you're due for a change - and I'm talking about more than just finding a solution for your hair loss. But if you're anything like me, you continue to live out each day for the sake of security and familiarity. I did this for years until I eventually found this community and was hired as the Associate Publisher.

Making changes can bring upon some initial anxiety and worry. But when you're at the point of no return and hate your life, it's seriously time to think about a change.

Most people don't like to lose their hair and for some, it feels like the end of the world. The good news is, something can be probalby be done about it depending if you're a candidate.

Right now however, it sounds like there are a number of things in your life that are bringing you to very dark places. Thus, in the process of considering hair restoration solutions - you may also consider seeing a counselor especially if you are seriously considering suicide.

I'm going to send you a private message with my phone number. If you want to talk about hair, compare IT war stories, or anything else, give me a call. I'm not suggesting I will counsel you. But I think we have a lot in common from dealing with the emotinal stress from hair loss and our career choices. I've also restored my hair and can probably help direct you and educate you in surgical hair restoration.

All the Best,

Bill

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To learn about how I restored my hair, view my my hair loss website.

Remember, true beauty radiates from within, not from the skin.

I am not a medical professional and my words should not be taken as medical advice. All opinions and views shared are my own.

Hi Wibelz, You are a pretty smart guy, and you seem to be doing something for making a change. I work for a fortune-10 IT company too, and have to deal with work related stress occasionally. I took up yoga before several years to combat stress and it proved to be a life saver for me.
Check this link out:
http://www.time.com/time/magaz...9171,1580401,00.html

I too work in IT industry, I write programs for the past 15 years...but I'm the opposite I don't let ANYTHING put me down. It's all in your head brother. Over the years, I've worked for many corporate america companies and I do agree that most times the job can be extremely stressful but I can assure you, it's all about how you approach the problem. As far as hair, since you said that you have been to hair loss sites for the past few years, you probably gathered enough evidence to suggest that you can get that fixed (of course I don't really know what your NW level is).

You work out - THAT'S GREAT. Keep it up. As far as friends, don't be afraid to get social with people, I know it's hard but instead of saying "I CAN'T" say "I'm currently struggling with", live you life to the fullest, it is VERY SHORT.

Sorry for the lecture, just my $0.02

Dude I think you've had some sound advice here and I too can relate to a lot of what you've said having worked in high-pressure blue-chip IT environments and coping with losing most of my hair.

Anyway, I'm glad you've shared your situation with us and I hope it is some consolation, however small to know that you've got some brothers online who will support you and have had many of the experiences you've described. It's a cliche but often people really do find 'a problem shared is a problem halved'.

Shave your head, get some counceling, and keep exercising

I know exactly what your going through,believe me i do.

You feel so bad about your hair yet a measly 1350 grafts can fix it? Either you think WAY more about your hairloss than other poeple or that doc is off his rocker.

If you have the body of an adonis then your 1 up on me man. I am a flabby god

Hope things get better for you.