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Support Group - Discuss personal issues due to Hair Loss Interact with hair loss sufferers by sharing your hair loss experience and how it has impacted you. Relate to others on a personal level and offer and receive helpful support

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Old 03-04-2009, 09:08 PM
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Hi all.

i am a 20 year vet of HTP's dating back to the old plugs.. now in my 40's getting some removed/ replaced/ recycled, etc to give me a more mature hairline.
The fact that i have had some work done over the past few months .. and since it's from the front going back.. there's no place to hide. knew this going in.. but boy it takes me back to some hard times!

I know things are different know... but back in the day.. you just had to deall with the corn row plugs for a year or 2 until it all started to fill in. i feel for everyone.. but i kind of get amused when lurking this site i see posts from fellows who just had their grafts placed " 6 weeks ago" and when can i start dating, etc.
for those of us from the "old days" or for the poor folks out there who are still getting mangled by unscrup docs (PLEASE>> DO YOUR HOMEWORK!!!) it can be a hard way to go.

that brings me to my segway. I apologize if this post offends anyone, or if it gets removed, i understand.. but as a band of brothers, i am interested.. what are some of the worst embarassing moments you had with the htp experience???

here's my story:

thru highschool/ college.. pretty much a stud. not the best looking, or biggest jock on campus, but always attention of the ladies. when i went out with my buddies, it was always me that the girls we met would ask about/ cozy up to, etc.

then.. senior yer of college, it started happening.. the inane questions: "hey.. ya know your losing your hair?".. like i had to be told!
after college i went straight into Vet school.
I looked like Phil Collins (remeber this was the 80's) by the end of my 1st year. I think it was a combination of being in a high stress program.. and the hair loss that did it.. but man.. i had NO self confidence. i see this posted a lot.. i really think women can smell it.
I went from Joe "let me go talk to them for ya" to the schmuck in the corner within 2 years. I thought about some dark stuff.
so anyway, I see an ad in the Sunday paper about Hair Transplants. It seemed this would be the answer!..

went to the clinic, never even talked to a doctor, just a bunch of great looking photos and vague promises that i would be back in a crew cut/ mullet (again.. the 80's!) in no time.
I was 19, never even told anyone, not my family, i guess i just thought it would be a week or 2 and my head as a whole would start regrowth.

It hit me when i was driving home from the appointment.. about 800 4mm punch holes straight across my forehead. i remeber puliing over to puke.. not from being sick.. but the cold reality setting in.
well after 2 weeks of spring break holed up in my aparment back to school. no wearing a hat in vet school.
moment #1: the stunned look of my classmates as i walked into the clinic.. the "what happened?" no one was being a smart ass.. they just didn't know what was up.

the next 2 years were horrific. i sequestered myself in my room as much as possible, never even dared to go to any function where i could not wear a ballcap.. and the buzz/ jokes. etc. i think most of it was lighthearted, but i was paranoid and a mutant. several "fix" jobs during these years.. but it finally got to a point wher i could kind of pull off a comb-over.
now.. by my senior year.. looking ok enough to venture out. eye drifters at every turn.. but i was kind of used to it by now and, the hair did't look too bad. right light, right room, i could pull it off.

Worst moment ever: March 17 1990: my buddies and i were partying.. someone had the bright idea of lets go downtown (philly).

I am in the bar, a little toasty, i had been working out like crazy, just back from Fla, so a little tan, so i guess i looked ok with my hat. I remember (I'll take this to my grave) one of the hottest girls i'd ever seen.. comes up to me, she puts her arm around me, drinks ome of my beer, etc.. you know the deal.. we stumble over to the bar, so i can buy her a drink, her friends come over..... she takes off my hat to put on her head.. shes facing the bar as she puts the hat on.. her hand reaches back for mine, and then she turns and looks me in the face.. eyes drift up.. she has this I feel sorry for you smirk on her face. plopls my hat back on my head and stumbles away with her friends.. laughing.. i wanted to die!!!

That was as low as it can get. i have never told that story in 19 years now.

whew!!!!
anyway, next couple years, i got hooked up with the right people once i became a "dr", hair look'n pretty good, married a great good looking gal, and honestly, over the past 15 years, i really think only a few people have noticed. or perhaps it's the confidence.. but who cares? Like i said, i am to the point know, i am getting taken out to get e recede look going, and i frankly don't give a damn!

my point to this long winded story:
1. do your research.. DON'T jump into anything! sometimes the "cure" is a lot worse than the problem!
2. if u go to a good doc.. you should be able to ease into it. but ther may be some hard bumps

3. keep your cool. it will all work out it you do your researxh and know waht you want and have realistic expectations.

4. No, this is no for my amusement, perhaps just a thought of the are others... but would anyone else like to share some moments that you wanted to crawl under a rock? it's quite cathartic and you will look back with some amusement.

D
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Old 03-05-2009, 08:40 AM
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Although I do not have a humiliating story to share, I can relate to the "hat pull". If I ever had a bad hair day of course I would put on a hat. It was certainly embarassing to have it taken off and occured on many occasions. I appreciate you telling the story, it was a good read. Clint
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Old 03-05-2009, 12:39 PM
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man that is brutal. what a story.

I think...hair does matter..at a certain time, a certain age. women do care. certain women. and you never know which ones will and which ones won't. that's the fear.
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Old 03-05-2009, 05:50 PM
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I have a female friend who is dating a guy who is a few years younger than me. This guy started losing his hair at the same age I did. So one day, she pulled my hat off and said it was because she wanted to know how bald her boyfriend would be when he was my age.
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Old 03-08-2009, 02:41 PM
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That's some story Dalew, kudos to you for sharing it on here, not an easy story to tell I would imagine. Glad to hear it all worked out well for you in the end though.

Regarding what women think about hair loss, it's a gray area. Ironically, my female friends all said to me that I would look great with the shaven 'Vin Diesel' look ha ha, and that I'm mad having hair transplantation (I'm not ashamed to be having one so if people ask, I tell them, doesn't bother me). But the fact is that women have their types like us lads do (some of us like blondes, some of us like brunettes etc). Likewise, losing your hair doesn't mean women will find you less attractive, some will find you MORE attractive. I'm no expert on what women want by any stretch of the imagination , but that's just my two cents.
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Old 03-08-2009, 03:36 PM
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GTDL,

U hit the nail on the head right there. The only problem i see, or have experienced.. is the "stigma of plugs">

it's odd. a chick gets a boob job, or a face lift, nose job, etc, even guys with lipo.. even if it does not turn out well, it's viewed as a "good try" and there is some improvement. A bad HT.. you are worse off than the guy with the bad toupee. at least he can take it off.

Over the years, as mine was repaired and softened with time, i have been out with friends, co-workers, etc and some guy wit a fresh HT walks thru the restraunt, pub, etc. he is shredded as bad as the guy with the bad wig.

As with you, i am at a point in my life i need not impress anyone, nor do i care, so i will usually share my story and tell them to lighten up. I have seen some awkward looks. and, of course, the "boy i should would not have known if you had not told me". but after all is said and done, once i let the cat out the bag, i catch 'em eye drift'n" for the rest of the night.

whatever.

all i can say is
1. I wish i had never done it
2. HOWEVERER, todays techniques are so great, perhaps i would do it if i could obtain the results we see today.

3. it has a lot to do with age... when you are in your 20's and the "bald guy" you feel isolated and will go for anything. when you get into your 40's (as i am now) and look around at your kids Lacrosse game and 1/2 the dads are bald(ing).. who cares? now u are the one with plugs.
i guess to me, i see at my age, it implies a vanity that i don't have. 20 years ago.. sure.. now i wish i could just be what i would have been! but people only see u at one point in time. they don't when u had them, or for what reason.

it's not for them to judge. but at that point i guess i, too am a hypocrite. when i see guys on this ite with older grey hair getting HTP, i just don't get it. i judge them as "old men with bad judgement".. what do they have to prove? what are they looking for? but then.. what in the hell right do i have to ask that?

4. there is no answer... all i would implore anyone to do is:
A. do your homwork
B. think about the future
c. will it really change your life.. and will it be better, or worse.. once u cross the line.. u really cannot come back. My humble opinion: Bald is considered "loser" by society, but it is natural. bald with 4 mm plugs going straight across your forehead, and a big scar on the back.. what the hell is that? do you really want to use toppix and hairspray for the rest of your life and live in anticipation of the "eye drift". or worse????
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Old 03-08-2009, 05:26 PM
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I see where you're coming from Dalew mate, it certainly is a road from which there is no return. But there is so much that can be done now. How is your current situation? Are you reasonably happy with your hair or does it still bother you somewhat. I posted elsewhere on this forum about whether or not surgery would be a good idea for me (I have recession at the temples). And Dr. Glenn Charles made a very good point. He said that it's not about what others think, it's about what I think. And if I wasn't happy with what I had right now, the chances are I would never be happy with it. Hence, I've decided to do something about it and go ahead with having surgery. What I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't just settle for something if it's not what you want. I do believe that there are doctors who could repair the old plugs (please correct me if I'm wrong?) And there's no job so bad that it can't be improved, if not repaired fully, in the hands of a good doctor.
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Old 03-09-2009, 02:47 AM
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Quote:
And if I wasn't happy with what I had right now, the chances are I would never be happy with it.
I'm sure dalew will reply to you GTDL but it seems to me from his story it is pretty obvious that something you are not happy with now could be something you would accept in the future especially when you get to an age where more and more of people your age are in the same boat. Anyway, best of luck with whatever you decide to do. Like dalew said do your homework and think about the future.
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Old 03-09-2009, 07:45 AM
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Dalew - what a story. Thanks for sharing.

Mine is almost comical by comparison. I started using Nanogen fibres a while back and, like many people, I suspect I used too many of them at the start. We had a party at our house, and invited about 30 friends. One of them decided upon arriving at the house (and about three minutes after I'd applied the locking spray) to ruffle my hair. They got a handful of boot polish obviously.

I said I was trying out some black hair dye. And got away with it - just.

I hear what you say. Your comments should be read by everyone thinking of having an HT at a young age. It can be a great thing to do, but it is a big decision and not all have the maturity to weigh up the pros and cons properly. This forum can help them do that.

Again, thanks for sharing.
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Old 03-09-2009, 11:02 AM
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I see what you mean imissthebarber. You never know how you may feel about certain situations ten or twenty years from now. Actually, after reading your comment just there and having re-read Dalew's story, I think I may have missed the central point that Dalew was trying to make when I read it first. That being, that what seems terrible now, may not be so bad in the future. And if he could go back in time he would probably reconsider having surgery. It's certainly a big step, not to be taken lightly. I must agree with Acrobaz too, I think Dalew's story is certainly a must read for any young person considering having such a procedure.
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